The searing light was blinding, even while my eyelids were closed. I squinted, but it was too much, so I shut them tight. I went to move, but my body felt way heavier than it should. My limbs were sluggish, and it felt like I was wading through mud. It felt like everything was spinning, and for a good while, I just tried to keep my gorge down. I didn’t like getting flung about, even being in the back seat would get me nauseous. At one point, it felt like a part of my mind starting to spin too, like there was something there that I hadn’t known before. It was operating all by itself, and the sensations made the rest of me tingle. Finally, everything settled into a sterile calm, a cold whiteness.

  I moved my mouth, but I could tell I was sluggish. “Wha-ats going on?” My voice croaked.

  Before the thought fully formed, a voice echoed in my head- calm, clipped, and completely out of place.

  “Welcome, participant. You have been selected for the competition. Congratulations.”

  The voice was female, smooth but mechanical, like someone had stripped all the warmth from it. I jolted, opening my eyes to glance around, but there was no one there. My mouth opened, but before I could ask questions, the voice continued.

  “You will begin on floor one. Please note that failure to meet the necessary survival criteria will result in immediate elimination. All actions are being monitored.”

  I was about to ask, “who are you?” when the voice responded to the question. “I am your personalized AI, PAI, pronounced like the word “pie.” The voice echoed in my head, it sounded like she was reading from a script and it was completely unnerving. “I am here to help you navigate the challenges ahead. Please be advised, your survival is not guaranteed.”

  I blinked, suddenly taken aback. “Wait, what the hell is going on?”

  A pause. The voice seemed to shift, almost like it was… processing? When it spoke again, it was softer, a little more human in how it sounded. Err, rather, how I perceived it sounding? I was at a loss.

  “Apologies, contestant. You are currently part of an intergalactic competition. Your goal: ascend through each floor and survive. More information will be provided as necessary.”

  “What competition? What floors?!” My voice cracked with confusion, but the words tumbled out louder than I intended. I wasn’t just asking- I was pleading for an answer, something to make sense where he was and what was happening.

  The voice didn’t respond immediately. Instead, a faint click echoed in my head and suddenly - what the hell? - a series of glowing symbols appeared in the corner of my vision. There were stats, inventory, and a timer counting down from two minutes. PAI spoke again, the faintest hint of urgency creeping into its tone. “You may wish to move. Floor one will begin in 105 seconds.”

  105 seconds? Floor one? Move where? What the hell does that even mean?

  I was so blown over at that moment, I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there, baffled. I felt like I was drowning in information I never asked for. My legs were heavy, like I was rooted in place. I wanted to run, but like a squirrel crossing the road debating to cross it, I couldn’t move. I looked around, then put my attention back to those symbols. With a thought, they grew to be more apparent. What the hell is going on? What is this?

  Suddenly, one of the symbols expanded in front of me, larger and more defined. I wasn’t even sure how it happened – I just thought about it. Somehow, my brain was connected to this… thing.

  The user interface popped up, it was an inventory. It consisted of a backpack cooler, and two cans of diet cherry coke. The absurdity hit me like a wave, of all the things I could have brought, I’m stuck with two cans of diet cherry coke. Seriously?

  Curious, I thought about the coke, and like magic, it showed up in my hand. I stepped back, dropping the can in the process, shocked at it manifesting there. The UI minimized itself as my focus was on the can of coke. I located it and thought about how I wish I hadn’t gotten it out, and it just vanished.

  I pulled up my UI, and once again, there it was. The symbol meant inventory, which I knew on some strange and instinctive level. Realizing this, PAI spoke, “you are now reading by way of an intergalactic communications system, format, common.” My vision shook and an exclamation point entered the corner of my view. I thought about it and it came to the center of my vision.

  “New Achievement: Put it away.” The voice was solemn and monotone, like if the Grim Reaper had a father and he was highly disappointed in him.

  “You have successfully placed an item into your inventory for storage. You have been rewarded a level 1 treasure token.” He sounded so painfully bored. “That guys in a good mood,” I said aloud. PAI responded, “That is the dominant, or master, AI, he controls all aspects of the ascent and is the center power source for all AI involved in the competition.” PAI was already sounding snooty, and I wasn’t really caring for it much. “But does he have to sound like that, though?” I realized I was just blabbing because I was nervous. The countdown had moved down to ten seconds. As the countdown clicked to zero, PAI replied, “Omnipotence has a price, Kevin.”

  My head turned at that, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I gulped as the textures of the walls finished populating, the lighting settled in, and I realized I was literally in an old stone dungeon.

  “Oh, what the fuck is this? I have to be tripping. Did Danial spike the popcorn with acid?” I didn’t speak these things, no, my body was too busy fighting off shock. Still, PAI was there, responding to my thoughts. “No, your body has been completely reset and purged of all narcotic substances prior to entry of the dungeon. Please see the stats panel for further information.” A symbol flashed in my UI, and I examined it. It listed a smattering of stats off to the side with a three-dimensional aspect of myself. It was weird, you should never be able to see what you look like from behind. I moved my head and could see what I looked like directly from the side, and it was so jarring that I wanted to get sick. Until that moment, I just, I don’t know, wasn’t letting it sink in. I was in a god damned game.

  I took a moment then. I sat down against the stone floor and proceeded to breath deeply, focusing there. Where was I? PAI buzzed in my mind, but I was so intent that she quieted. I needed to get a grip. Okay, figure this out. I’m not tripping on anything, I’m actually here, wherever here is, and there’s a talking thing in my head. The buzz came again, and I quieted it once more.

  I can do this, right? I mean, it’s a game… What had the pie voice say? Without a guarantee of survival…

  Everything spun, and I leaned against a nearby wall. I was having a very hard time with this. I heard something then, a scurrying of sorts. Looking around, I spotted two beady eyes coming through the darkness. Another set followed, then the light reflected against a set of teeth. What in the world?

  The creatures shot out of the dark, a pair of them. Rats… Rats so big they would make New York rats look like mice. I sidestepped as one lunged at me, but before I could get my bearings, another one was already on me, biting into my chest. “Gah, fuck!” I shouted, grabbing at its neck, trying to pry it off. Another one latched onto my leg, sinking its teeth in deep. I’m going to die. I’m going to die being eaten by rats.

  Panic surged through me. I stopped dead while a calm came over my emotions. I can’t fight a bunch of damn rats? Come on, Kevin.

  With a surge of adrenaline, I squeezed the one on my chest, pinching its jaws. A small window popped into my vision, but it minimized before I could read it. The rat fought back, its grip tightening until something in its jaw crunched. Disgusted, I flung it to the ground. As it hit the floor, a “+5 Experience” notification appeared in the corner of my vision. Another exclamation mark popped up but minimized just as quickly.

  Before I could fully process that, the rat on my leg sank its teeth in harder, sending a wave of pain through me. “Shit!” I ran to the wall and slammed the rat against it, once, twice, until it finally hissed and released. Furious, I grabbed the damn thing and threw it against the wall, a satisfying crunch followed the impact, then the sound of limp meat hitting the floor.

  Another “+5 Experience” popped up, followed by a buzz in my head. PAI’s voice, smooth and detached, spoke: “You crushed them with your bare hands? Impressive… and mildly concerning.”

  “I didn’t see you trying to help,” I muttered, inspecting the bites. They’d taken real chunks out of my skin.

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Unable to fulfill request. User is not in possession of an avatar unit. Please refer to requisition options on the third floor for unit acquisition.”

  “Huh?” I wasn’t paying attention, too focused on the wound in my chest. Oddly, no blood. “Do I have any medical supplies? And why the hell am I not bleeding?”

  “Enemies lack bleeding properties. These units have a 5% chance of inflicting poison status, but probability did not occur. Medical supplies include bandages, healing gel, and potions that are available on this floor. Refer to the index for more information.”

  I blinked, still trying to wrap my head around everything. An open wound, no blood. Focus. I noticed a red bar in the corner of my vision, about 90% full. Below it were green and blue bars. Stamina? Mana?

  “Hey, PAI, I think I’ve got a mana bar. Does that mean I get spells and stuff?”

  A brief buzz hummed through my head before the response came. “Correct. Mana reserves may be used for spells, skills, or specialized abilities based on user progression.”

  As I watched, my health ticked up. Curious, I asked about it. “Hey, I just saw my health tick upwards. Will I regenerate over time?” I was asking PAI, though if anyone were nearby, I’d assume they’d assume I was nuts.

  “Yes, active regeneration is an ongoing mechanic to the competition. Early trials of the competition showed that without a natural kind of regeneration, the competition would end too early. Natural regeneration for your health is based on your constitution stat. The same is true of stamina to dexterity and mana to wisdom. As each stat increases, so too will the speed of your natural regeneration.”

  I gave a grunt in acknowledgement, then proceeded to look pull up my status window to inspect my stats. They were Strength 18, Dexterity 14, Constitution 17, Intelligence 13, Wisdom 12, and Charisma 14.

  “Does everyone start with the same stats or are these based on me?” I asked PAI, a little curious about how they were assigned and on what kind of scale.

  “Each competitor is selected due to representative guidelines 83.17a, stating that no civilization may be judged based on extremes, so representatives must land somewhere within the mean of a population. You have a total of 88/120, the average score is 60, so no competitor is eligible for the competition if their natural score is less than 40 or above 90. You are in the top 5 percentile regarding your stat distribution.” Her voice was clinical, as it had been thus far.

  As she said this a notification showed in my upper right, a new achievement.

  It read: New Achievement Unlocked: “Natural Talent”. The Master AI’s voice, cold and devoid of emotion, echoed in my mind.

  “Congratulations, competitor. Your impressive dedication to physical and mental development has placed you among the elite few. You are a testament to what hard work can achieve… even if it is ultimately wasted in the face of near-certain death.”

  I blinked, momentarily stunned. "Wait, what?"

  Oddly cheery, PAI responded, “there is a 92% failure rate on floor one. The odds are not in your favor.” It gave a short giggle at the end. The sound in my head served as a reminder that this thing, PAI, was not human.

  I stayed there for a while, I wasn’t sure how long. I played with the interface, figuring out how to interact with it all. It was pretty straightforward; straight out of any number of fantasy games I had played over the years. I also spent some time thinking about Beth, worried if anything had happened to her. My god, could she be in here?

  “Hey, PAI, what happened to the other people I was with when I was abducted?”

  “Apologies competitor, I do not have access to that information.” Figures.

  When I finally stopped messing around with everything in my UI, my wounds had healed completely. I got up and stared at one of the dead rats from earlier, and a little window popped up with its name, “Giant Rat,” and some info on its stats.

  “Hey, when I’m looking at an enemy, why doesn’t it display all of its stats?”

  “The stats known are only displayed once you have some way of knowing them. You’ve killed this one, so you can see what its maximum HP was, and you know its strength and constitution because you were bitten by it and felt how hardy they are. For example, if the Giant Rat had the ability to cast a level one poison, you would then have a decent guess at its mana pool and intelligence after it cast it at you.”

  I thought on this for a moment as it did make sense, so I decided simply accept PAI’s words at face value.

  I turned around, inspecting the area. We were at the entrance to some kind of open room. There were torches on the walls nearby, I tried to pick one up and to my surprise it came right out. I backtracked a little bit, getting two more torches and putting them into my inventory. I came back to the large room and noted that tiles began about twenty yards up. I approached them noticing that each of the large tiles had letters on them written in cursive and stylized. As I got closer, I heard the master AI speak again.

  “Only in the footsteps of God will he proceed.” The voice was all dark and brooding, but the words jogged something in my memory.

  “Oh my god, you ripped off Indiana Jones! How in the hell does he know about Indiana Jones?” I asked, incredulous.

  “The Master AI processes all participant memories for assessment. In accordance with ruling 353.12c: no species may be evaluated using the historical or cultural standards of another. Trials that reflect the cultural frameworks of foreign species result in statistically significant rates of premature competitor loss, leading to the automatic reclassification of the species under protected status.”

  The only part of her explanation that sank in was the “processes all participants memories for assessment.” Holy shit, it scanned our minds? They can do that?

  “How is that fair?” I asked, “if it has access to all of our memories then it knows everything about us and how we’ll react.”

  PAI’s voice buzzed softly in response. “The Master AI has access to your memories solely for evaluation of historical, cultural, and biological data. Direct manipulation or prediction of individual competitor behavior is prohibited under ruling 821.9b. Memory access is used exclusively to maintain fairness across species and prevent competitive bias when generating the floor. Your personal strategies, reactions, and decisions remain uninfluenced.”

  I blinked, still reeling from the concept. “So, it knows everything about me but doesn’t use it?”

  “Correct. Predictive models based on individual memory are restricted, ensuring competitors act of their own volition. Furthermore, it will only have access during the generation phase of each floor.”

  I harumphed, looking out at the puzzle. I had to take a moment to remember the scene, it had been a while since I binged on Indy, and I was rusty. Now, standing before the puzzle myself, I was drawing a blank. I remember Indy got it wrong at first, and had to scuttle up to the next platform, something about the spelling. I knew it was the name of God, but I couldn’t remember what that name was. My parents were always more religious than I was, later in life I studied early religion and remembered reading the Bible but only as a form of study and not the New Testament. What had they called him, Yahweh?

  Thinking myself incredibly clever, I grabbed one of the dead rats from earlier. I walked back up to the tiles and spotted a “Y” nearby. As I tossed the dead animal at the tile, a little part of my brain kicked up the image of people ringing my door, wearing nice clothing asking if I had accepted Jesus into my life. Jehova, no!

  But it was too late. The rat had gone too far, and I was ready for a hole to open up on the floor. To my surprise, this wasn’t what happened.

  The tile lit up, red glowing beneath it. The tiles that spelled it correctly lifted, and I noted that the J did not. That’s how Indy got it wrong, you weren’t even close, I thought, chiding myself. The tiles rose about three feet up as the master AI said, “You have chosen… poorly.”

  From the newly risen platforms, small doors opened in the direction that faced me. The torchlight from the stony walls wasn’t enough to illuminate what stepped out, but the one closest to me spotted the dead rat and let out a cry. I was stepping back, so I couldn’t get a good look at the smaller creature, but it started to wail as it lifted the dead rat. The other figures came out, rushing to the first’s side. A series of angry chitters echoed through the room as I caught the smell of musk and urine. I scowled as I quietly backed away. I was a fair way back when I accidently stepped on the other dead rat. The sound of its insides squirting out somehow drew the attention of the new creatures, their eyes all turning to me as one.

  A shadowy figure pointed at me and let out a series of sounds that could be considered language. That’s when they all charged.