“I don’t understand,” Lucas said as we walked through the city. “Nothing about her made sense. And she didn’t seem like the woman I knew. I didn’t know her well, of course. But she was so… sharp. Like a thorn in one boot. Every step seemed to push kindness into irritation. And… Well, I never imagined her as the type to get caught in a whirlwind romance. And I know she would never shrug it off if her fiancé just vanished all the time. Much less days before a wedding she was clearly too eager to prepare for.”

  He was echoing my own thoughts. I’d only known Livia for three days, technically. But I’d also met her during what must have been the worst three days of her life. And still, she’d been kind. She was like sand on the beach. Soft and malleable, but immovable at the same time. Weathering every wave and still holding the people around her up.

  The sound of my boots on cobblestone wandered the quiet road as I considered my response. “It’s soul magic, of some kind. I don’t really understand how it works. I’m not certain it has any real rules at all. But this wedding… it's new. It’s something being done to her. Not something she is doing. I’m certain of it,” I replied.

  “So you think this… Clarke is using some kind of aura on the innkeeper? And that he is my brother?” Lucas asked.

  “I won’t say I know that he is. But… he was in your father’s will. Alongside your mother, and the woman who… well, another soul mage, from another loop. And he’s the one marrying Livia. Which has never happened in the loop before. He is, at minimum, involved in the change,” I answered.

  “Why didn’t it happen before?” he asked. “In the other versions of the loop?” I rounded a corner as I made my way to the main gate. I’d be there too soon, so I paused and turned to look at the ghost who was Lucas.

  “Do you… Do you remember dying? Not just… not when I hurt you. But earlier. In another loop. Were you killed by one of the Quieted bodies?” I asked. Lucas looked a little taken aback. He started to shake his head, then paused. He put one hand to his chin in thought.

  “I… don’t know. But I don’t have any memories of a loop before the one where I met you. I do remember something happening, but… it’s hard to grasp.”

  I nodded. “You didn’t show up when Margaret was in control of the loop. I think you must have been dead. Or Vitinia was. Margaret killed a lot of people. So when she was removed from the timeline… well. You and your mother survived. And then it was your loop,” I said.

  “And Clarke… he must have died as well. Then Mom must have gotten to him early, right?” Lucas guessed. I nodded.

  “I think so, yes,” I agreed. “Maybe only one person can use soul magic at once. Or maybe both of them died when Margaret was in charge. In any case. When one soul mage is removed, they make room for another. But this should be the last time. And hopefully, the least violent.”

  “The last?” Lucas asked.

  “When the spell started, I saw it split into three smaller spells. That went down to two after I took the aura back from Margaret. With Vitinia… well. After everything we went through, I think there will only be one, now. One more, and I think I can end this,” I explained.

  Lucas folded his arms nervously across his chest. “I see. I… hope you’re right,” he said. He paused after that, then freed a long-held sigh. Sorry. I just… I feel like I’m playing catch-up. And I need to understand what we are doing. I spent so long doing whatever I was ordered to do. So I need to understand what I am helping with.”

  I grit my teeth at that. Not because it was unreasonable, and not because I wouldn’t do what he asked. But because I recognized the sentiment too well. And because he likely wouldn’t be so worried about helping me, if he didn’t know I’d killed an innocent man too easily.

  “For now, we are just looking for him. I have no idea what to do when we find him. But… we need to find him,” I said.

  “Looking for him where?” Lucas asked. “Even his own fiancée doesn’t know where he is? The church, maybe?” I shuddered at the suggestion. I didn’t have anything against Aethon or his church. I wasn’t especially fond of them either. They were just… people at a place I rarely interacted with. Chandara had shown me two versions of the god I was supposed to worship there. I didn’t know which was true, if either. But my recent experiences had made me wary. I didn’t think that was the best place to start, in any case. I didn’t have a good idea either, but I remembered something I’d overheard on the first day. The first time I’d lived through it. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

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  “I’m going to speak to the captain of the guard,” I explained.

  “Oh, I suppose that makes sense. Do you think he’s fallen in with the wrong sort, and that’s why he’s missing? Gambling debts, or adultery perhaps?” Lucas guessed. I shrugged.

  “Um, I don’t really know. So far, everyone who’s used soul magic in this loop has been fairly isolated, though. I think it’s more likely he was the type to disappear well before he got engaged,” I answered. Lucas wasn’t wrong about the possibility, and neither of us had actually met Clarke. All we knew was that the man was Lucas’ brother, and he’d changed the loop. That meant he was possibly wealthy, I supposed. Even so, that wasn’t why I was on my way to meet Captain Octavia.

  “The guards won’t be much help with a missing persons case, I’m afraid,” Lucas said. “With the Quiet, well. There are just too many to investigate.”

  I nodded. He was right. And I’d seen how they were responding. They gathered the bodies and squirreled them away. Out of sight, out of mind. To prevent a panic. To maintain control. On the mayor’s orders, apparently. There was something about that which scratched at the back of my mind, but I had more important things to focus on, so I brushed it to the side.

  “No, they won’t,” I replied. “I’d be more upset about that, but I don’t think I could do much more than they are. Still. I tried asking them once before. And they brushed me off almost immediately. Even so, the captain mentioned someone else who might be able to help me. I just… I can’t remember who they were. But I’m hoping the captain will send two people to them, if she sent one. It’s not much, but it’s the best I have.”

  Lucas looked away from me and back toward the quiet road we’d been walking down. A man sat against the wall across from us, his arms resting on his knees, and his head hung low. He was close enough that he must have heard me talking to myself. But he hadn’t reacted at all. I vaguely recognized him. I could barely see his face, but it was one I’d seen over and over throughout the loop. Almost everyone was. As part of Vitinia’s cult. One of the silent bodies Margaret had used to burn and to kill. Or maybe one of their victims. I wasn’t sure.

  Something about that was like hot coals under my feet, and I felt the urgent need to start moving again. Seeing the man had a strange effect on Lucas as well, and he responded with only two words. “I’m coming.”

  It wasn’t a long walk from the inn to the front gate. It never had been. I simply had to pass through the market, and I was only a street or so away. But I’d stopped to explain myself to Lucas. And he deserved any explanations I could give him. Even so, I felt like I was arriving late to everything. Even in three days which would loop endlessly, it felt like I’d missed an opportunity. I didn’t know what, exactly. When I arrived at the front gate, it was exactly what I expected. A crowd of people surrounded Octavia’s tent and waited at the gate. The woman I was looking for was likely exactly where I expected her to be. And I wanted information. Nothing that would expire or be taken by someone before I got there.

  But the ice on my feet was finally starting to thaw, and the shiver in my spine was slowing. I wasn’t frozen in place, as I had been for so long. This freedom seemed to come with an unquenchable urgency. I supposed it made sense. It was a new anxiety to replace an old one, at least while that fear of action was still quiet. I deserved as much. I was starting to hope again, a little. I had found people I loved. And if I could escape the loop, I thought…

  It didn’t matter. Because the slowly burning realization that I still had value didn’t mean I’d found redemption. So I deserved it. What had changed was simple. I was starting to believe that I also deserved to escape the loop. Not just the three days I was trapped in, but the loop I’d been running through in my head since I escaped my grandmother. To find family. I deserved to move on. At least, once I’d made things right with Cammie.

  In any case, I didn’t hesitate. I walked straight toward the tent, and pushed my way inside. The aura I used was almost an afterthought. I don’t even remember chanting the spell, nor holding my breath. I just slowed the world around me so I wouldn’t be stopped or questioned, and I marched into the tent with purpose.

  “Captain Octavia,” I said, locking my eyes on the woman inside. She sat at a makeshift desk, exactly as I’d remembered. She met my eyes slowly, and sighed.

  "There is no plague. There is no curse. I don't know what happened to your friend, lover, parents, or kid. The gates will open in a few days when all this blows over. Does that cover it?" she asked.

  “I didn’t expect your help with the Quiet,” I answered. “But I heard you knew someone who might help me. I need to find someone. Not because of a curse, and not because of the gate. I just need help.” The words tripped from my mouth before I realized what I was going to say. I didn’t think I'd spoken so confidently to a stranger since I’d left home. But they felt right. They felt like something I’d have said when I was younger. They were barely hostile, but compared to my first attempt to ask this woman for help… They tasted sharp on my tongue.

  Octavia leaned back in her chair and looked me up and down.

  “Where did you hear that?” she asked.

  I sighed. “Does it matter?” I replied.

  “It does if you want an answer,” she insisted.

  I let out a hot breath. I couldn’t explain it to her. She wouldn’t believe me. But I needed an answer. So I began to chant. Aura flowed from my shoulders like water from rocks. As I did, the entire world slowed around us again. It didn’t stop. I needed air to flow in order to speak with her. I needed her to see what was happening. And as the noise of the crowd distorted to a hum, she did.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t have the energy to spend on this. I just need the address. Please,” I said. Her eyes widened for just a moment, but she composed herself quickly. She stared over my shoulder at her guards, moving like the air was thick.

  “You could have just said you were a mage,” she complained. That wasn’t true at all, but I wasn’t interested in arguing. She was writing the address down regardless.