Mythos: Last Stand

  Chapter 4 — Distrust

  by Caide Fullerton

  Jackie cracked their neck and brushed off their jacket as they sat up, resting their back against one wall of the cramped, empty room. They glanced to the side—Sam sat on one side of the door, nervously listening for the Kumori; Helena stood on the other side, leaning against the wall with one palm resting on the hilt of her sword.

  And finally, sitting right across from Jackie—

  Strade: “Sorry about that, bud. Didn’t recognize you at first, and… well, I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone but the Kumori in here.”

  With rust-brown hair, messy stubble, and tired eyes, he cracked a smile as he pressed his hands against his knees. He regarded Jackie curiously, turning to the others with a stupid grin and a raised eyebrow.

  Strade: “When’d he dye his hair? And change his eye color? And…” He glanced back to Jackie again, “Uh, shrink by a foot?”

  Sam: “It isn’t him!” He snapped, then clapped a hand over his mouth, turning a panicked gaze to the door.

  Jackie: “It isn’t nearby. We’re fine.”

  Sam: “…right. Thanks.”

  He took a deep breath before glaring at Strade. He opened his mouth to speak, but sighed instead, shaking his head before continuing in the calmest voice he could muster,

  Sam: “We… didn’t find him. He’s… he’s gone.”

  Strade: “Well, good riddance.” Strade clicked his tongue. “So then, who’s this?”

  Jackie: “I’m Jackie.” They smiled as they looked to him, reaching out a hand, “A Human. Like you.”

  Strade: “Jackie, huh?” He raised an eyebrow at their outstretched hand, eventually reaching out to slap it with a smile. “Well then, moving on from that…”

  His smile was quickly replaced by a frown as he jabbed an accusatory finger at Sam.

  Strade: “Sam! You’re meant to be smart and booksy! You can read, can’t you!? What part of “Don’t follow me” didn’t you understand!?”

  Sam prepared a retort, but Strade moved on before he could speak, jabbing his finger at Helena next,

  Strade: “And you, Helena! Isn’t protecting him your whole deal!? Why the hell did you let him do something so stupid and dangerous!?”

  Helena furrowed her brow, her fist clenching as she scowled, ready to defend herself. Before any words could come out, however, she faltered, her face overcome by conflict and shame. Strade moved on to his final target,

  Strade: “And you! You, uh…”

  Jackie: “Jackie.”

  Strade: “Jackie! I.. don’t know anything about you, but coming here with them was stupid!”

  Strade crossed his arms, looking between the three. As Sam and Helena cast their gazes downwards, Jackie met Strade unflinchingly,

  Jackie: “I disagree.”

  Strade cocked his head at them. “Do ya, now?”

  Jackie nodded, resolute. “I do. After all, they’re your friends, aren’t they? Obviously they’d come to save you.” At that they stood, pointing down at Strade. “If anything, you’re the stupid one for thinking they’d abandon you.”

  Strade’s eyes widened at Jackie’s statement. After a moment, his surprised expression was cracked by a smile, and he broke out into laughter.

  Strade: “I like you. Well, kid? What about you? What are you doing here?”

  Jackie pointed back at themself, confused. “Me?”

  Strade: “Yeah, you. You don’t know shit about me. Why’re you here, risking your life for some asshole you’ve never met?”

  Jackie: “Does that… matter?” They cocked their head, puzzled. As Strade raised an eyebrow, they continued, “Obviously I’d come here. You’re a fellow Human like me. Letting you die without even meeting you would be unacceptable.”

  At that, Strade was left without a retort, simply snorting as he leaned back. Satisfied with this, Jackie placed a hand on their hip, raising a finger before going on,

  Jackie: “Speaking of, you aren’t saved until we get out of here. Thankfully, I have a plan.”

  Helena: “No.”

  Finally cutting into the discussion, Helena took a step forward from the wall, raising her head.

  Helena: “Strade’s right. This was stupid.”

  Jackie: “It was?”

  Helena: “It was stupid to come after him. It was even more stupid to go along with your plan.” She clenched her fist, face contorting into a scowl as she ground her teeth between words, “And most of all—”

  Sam: “Helena! Don’t—”

  Helena: “—It was stupid to let you come along in the first place!”

  She spat out that vitriolic declaration. Receiving it, Jackie sauntered into the center of the room, standing just in front of Helena as they turned to face her. Their expression was blank, completely neutral as they gazed up at her, studying her expression as it began to break in the silence; it softened as regret chipped through the outer shell of resentment.

  Jackie: “You don’t mean that,” they finally replied, their face remaining neutral.

  Meeting their eyes, Helena took a deep breath, taking in the musty smell of the crumbling stronghold, her expression hardening again, now resolute.

  Helena: “I do. And I’ll stand by it.” She stepped forward, meeting Jackie in the center of the room; she towered over them. “We can’t trust you. That makes you a liability. We never should’ve taken you with us.”

  Jackie: “Really? I don’t think of myself as a liability.”

  Helena knit her eyebrows with a frustrated grumble, “That doesn’t—”

  Jackie: “And I don’t think you do, either.”

  This brought Helena to a complete halt. Her balled fist shook, but she calmed herself, taking a deep breath once again; the sharp exhale that followed was somewhere between an exasperated sigh and a laugh.

  Helena: “Alright then. If you know me so well, why don’t you tell me exactly what I really think?”

  Her words were laced with frustration, more of a taunt than a genuine request, but Jackie nodded as though it was a matter of course. “You don’t really mean any of what you’re saying. It’s all a bluff.”

  Helena: “And why would I want to fool you?”

  Jackie: “Hmm… You probably don’t. Which means… ah. You’re fooling yourself?”

  Helena raised a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, exhaling. Her emotions were a mess; she didn’t seem to know if she should laugh or be furious.

  Helena: “And what the hell does that mean? I’m ‘fooling myself’? Give me a break!” She punctuated the outburst by swinging her arm out to the side, right over Jackie’s head. “You don’t know a damn thing about me! About any of us!”

  Jackie: “I do, though.”

  Helena: “Ugh—you don’t! You’ve only known me for a few hours. Maybe you don’t understand, since you’ve never met another Human before, but that isn’t long enough to figure someone out. Whatever you think you know about me, it isn’t a damn thing!”

  That gave Jackie some pauses. Did they understand her? She was right; they’d only met a few hours ago, and she’d clearly been wary of them the whole time. But despite that wariness, she’d still agreed to bring them along, even if she was regretting it now.

  Jackie: “I know at least a little bit. I know you’re kind, deep down.”

  Helena stared down at them for a long while, consumed in some swirl of thought and emotions. Eventually she stepped forward—and grabbed Jackie by the shirt, lifting them into the air with a snarl,

  Helena: “You really don’t know the first thing about me. I can’t afford to be ‘kind’ when Sam’s life is on the line. When all of our lives are on the line!”

  Sam: “Helena! Put them down!” He stood and shouted a rebuttal before Jackie could, moving to place himself between the two.

  Helena raised her free arm, holding Sam back. “Don’t get in the way. We’ve already been betrayed once, and he never gave us a reason to suspect him. Jackie’s been suspicious from the start.”

  Sam: “So what? You’re gonna kill them!?”

  Helena stiffened. “Of course not. We’ll… we’ll deal with the Kumori and—”

  Sam: “And then what? Abandon them?”

  Helena: “I will, if that’s what it takes to protect you!”

  Sam scowled. “They may not know you, but I do. This really isn’t like you.” He shoved her arm aside and forced his way in front of her, placing a hand on her Jackie-wielding wrist. “I don’t need you to protect me from them.”

  Helena: “What if they hurt you?”

  Sam: “What if anyone hurt me? This wasn’t an issue before!” He managed to wrench Helena’s grip off of Jackie. “What changed?”

  Helena: “You know what changed.”

  Sam: “And just because one person betrayed us, that means Jackie will, too?”

  Helena: “What it means is that I was too soft! That I wasn’t careful enough! All he did was run off with some food, but what if he’d done more? What if he’d killed us in our sleep!?” Her fists trembling, she took a deep breath to steady herself. “I can’t take any more risks. Not with you.”

  Sam: “I’m not some kid, you know!” He snapped back. “I have a say in this as well, and I want them to stay.”

  Helena: “But—”

  Sam: “Don’t forget that I’m a doctor. I want to save everyone I can, and that means I won’t leave anyone behind. And I know you don’t want to, either!”

  Helena: “The only thing I want is to protect you—to protect everyone!”

  An idea clicked into place.

  Jackie: “So that’s why.” Their muttering caught both Sam and Helena’s attention; they looked up at the muscular woman. “That’s why you didn’t just abandon me at the start. Because I’m a part of ‘everyone’.”

  Helena froze, and Jackie seized the initiative, piling more on,

  Jackie: “You could’ve left me behind, but you didn’t. You could’ve refused to go after Strade, but you didn’t. You said you can’t take risks anymore, but you are taking risks.”

  Sam placed his hands on Helena’s shoulders, his expression finally softening. “Jackie was right about one thing—you are kind. I don’t want you to be this cold, vicious person you’re trying to force on yourself—especially not for my sake.”

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  Helena did not answer. She raised a hand to grip one of Sam’s, staring off into space.

  ? ? ?

  A tall woman’s figure was reduced to a silhouette as she leaned over them, the sun high in the sky behind her. Blanketed by her shadow, a young girl was crouched on the ground in a small hollow beneath an ancient ruin, the structure a hulking, rectangular mass of rusted metal overgrown with damp moss and ivy, its stench pungent in the hot sun.

  Huddled up beside the girl was a young boy with scraggly dark-brown hair, his amber eyes wavering as he looked up at the woman.

  Sam: “B-but, Miss Annie—”

  Annie: “Shh.” She placed a tender hand on the boy’s trembling cheek, soothing him with a calm voice, “It’ll be alright. We’ll be right back after we beat up that scary monster, okay? Just wait here with Helena and hide.”

  Though he looked back at her with a sour, dissatisfied expression, the boy nodded quietly, nestling up to his sister. Annie smiled and gave them both a pat on the head before taking a step back as she stood. She reached beside her for a great glaive propped up against the ruin and, holding it over her shoulder, turned to leave.

  She stopped for a moment, looking back at the two children in hiding with hesitation. But a voice barked at her in the distance, and she shook her head, giving the two a final smile before breaking into a run.

  The final image Helena had of her mother was that of a silhouette running away, off into the distance.

  She could remember clearly how she looked—in fact, as she grew older she was quite delighted by how similar their appearances were—but the image that stuck with her the most was that blurry silhouette.

  Hours had passed, just her and Sam beneath the old ruin, their only company the sweltering heat of the sun. The shadow it cast off their hiding place served as their only record of the time passed, and it was only once it grew long that Helena finally dared to crawl free of the ruin, met with the red sky of a coming sunset.

  She found no sign of her mother.

  There were clear signs of a battle—lines and gashes drawn in the mud, scattered debris from nearby ruins, even some splatters of blood scattered about—but not of any of its participants.

  No tracks.

  No trail.

  No bodies.

  She was alone.

  Not entirely alone, of course. She swiftly returned to the misshapen ruin to collect Sam, urging him out of hiding. He asked no questions; he didn’t want the answers, nor did he need to ask for them. Helena was fine with that; she didn’t want to say them aloud.

  She took him by the arm and led him down a writhing mud path, dimly lit by the crimson light of the setting sun. The very last of the light scattered across the peaks of trash heaps as the two arrived at a sizable stone ruin—the very same one they’d called home for the last few days.

  As they stepped up to its crumbling doorway, a glimmer of hope carved its way into Helena’s heart.

  Perhaps their mothers would be inside, worried sick for their missing children. “What part of ‘stay put’ don’t you understand!?” Naomi would scold them in her raspy voice. Sam would cry, and his mother would sigh before pulling them both into a hug. Annie would burst through the doorway, exclaiming that she’d been searching everywhere for them, and she would squeeze them both so tight they could hardly breathe.

  Perhaps things had gone terribly wrong. They’d step inside to find both their mothers collapsed and bloodied, wounded after being forced to flee a vicious battle. Arriving just in time, Sam would nurse them back to health with all the skills he’d learned from those books of his.

  Stepping through the threshold with a deep breath, Helena felt a pang of guilt for wishing such harm upon her own mother. Even so, it was an alternative she found preferable to reality.

  The room was empty.

  She double-checked the rooms and corners, searching for any trace of life, but there was none to be found. It was just as they’d left it.

  Sam stood almost motionless at the entrance, watching Helena scramble about the room. Glancing over to him, his empty gaze pained her; she looked away quickly.

  The room was empty.

  And so, she and Sam went to sleep.

  When they awoke the next day, it wasn’t until rather late into the morning that either of them spoke. They kept their exchanges short, mere passing comments as they prepared a meager breakfast from leftover supplies.

  Neither had any interest in putting their situation into words—at the very least, Helena didn’t, and Sam didn’t speak up if he did.

  They did their best to avoid leaving their shelter, lest they attract the attention of something unsavory. Even so, they only had a few days’ supplies stockpiled; they would need to venture out for food before long.

  Much as Helena didn’t want it to, the day came. She stood quietly at the entrance to their hovel, peering out at the harshly-lit wastes. With a deep breath, she mustered her courage and puffed out her chest, taking an old sword propped up by the doorway; it was too heavy for her, but it would have to do.

  She would be the one to—

  Sam: “Helena..?”

  Hearing her brother’s voice, she froze. He stepped closer, a choked sound in his throat as though he had something to say but couldn’t bring himself to speak.

  Helena turned to him, pausing to conjure the right words before placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, Sam. Stay here. I’ll be back with food.”

  Sam: “I-I’ll go with you..!” He raised a hand to her wrist, enclosing it in his gentle palm.

  Helena: “No!” Helena snapped a bit louder than she’d meant to, causing Sam to jump. Her hand tightened around his shoulder, her gaze firm. “I need you to stay here.”

  Sam: “But—”

  Helena: “You need to stay here where it’s safe, okay!? I’ll come back with food, so just stay put no matter what.” Her voice starting to choke up, she hurried through the rest of that sentence and swiftly turned to leave.

  Just as she stepped beyond the threshold of the door, she felt Sam tug on the sleeve of her shirt, pulling her back. Irritated, she whirled around to face him, only to be met with a teary face.

  Sam: “Don’t leave me behind.”

  Her eyes widened, and she clasped his hand in both of hers. “I won’t.”

  She would never leave Sam alone. Even if it was dangerous, she would be there to protect him.

  In order for them to never be apart, she simply needed to be stronger.

  In order for them to survive, she simply needed to be stronger.

  In order to drive out the dangers, she simply needed to be stronger.

  To protect Sam, she simply needed to be stronger.

  She needed to be stronger.

  No, she was stronger.

  ? ? ?

  Jackie blinked, disoriented. What had they just seen? What had they just felt?

  The world had become hazy, distorted, and then they weren’t themself anymore. They experienced things, saw things, felt things from another perspective. Memories that weren’t their own.

  Helena’s memories.

  Helena: “I have to be that person, Sam. To keep you safe. I promised myself I would do whatever it took, and I’ve been failing you!”

  They only half-caught what she was saying, their head spinning. No time had passed; they were back exactly where they’d left off in reality. What had that vision been? How had they seen it? Why?

  Sam: “You don’t! I can take care of myself. I won’t let you destroy yourself like this, and I’m not going to push anyone away. Jackie might be suspicious, but they’re Human just like us. I won’t abandon them, or anyone.”

  Jackie didn’t hear him. The more they came to terms with what had just happened, the less lucid they felt. Being someone else had felt so normal, so natural in the moment, but now that they were back in their own mind and body, it felt… violating. Like a part of someone else had been implanted in them.

  They hadn’t simply seen Helena’s memories. They’d experienced them as her, felt everything she felt, thought her thoughts. They had, in every sense of the word, ceased to be Jackie. The memory had lasted days, even if most of that time was an empty blur.

  Blinking, they realized they were on the ground, Sam leaning over them. At some point they’d stumbled back and fallen over.

  Sam: “Hey, Jackie! Can you hear me?”

  Jackie: “Y-yeah, sorry. I just, uh. Just got dizzy, all of a sudden…” It wasn’t really a lie. Their world was spinning in multiple figurative senses. They needed to get ahold of themself.

  They were Jackie. They would never be anyone other than Jackie, even if they held those vivid memories of being someone else.

  Sam shot a glare at Helena, who crouched down beside him. All her cold stiffness had evaporated, replaced with wide eyes and frantic concern. She clearly thought she’d hurt them, which was true in a way—it had been her memory, after all. Jackie seriously doubted she’d shown it to them intentionally, and based on how she, Sam, and Strade were acting, none of them had seen the vision.

  “Vision” felt wrong; it was much more than that. An experience? A hallucination? They spent a moment thinking of a fitting name for it; it was nice to have anything to think about other than what had just happened. They settled on “echo”.

  Helena: “I’m sorry. I took it too far. You haven’t done anything wrong, I just… this situation, and the Kumori, and…”

  Jackie: “It’s okay.” They’d prefer to move on to the next topic quickly, keep themself distracted. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

  Sam: “It isn’t fine! She hurt you!”

  Helena: “It isn’t fine! I hurt you!”

  The siblings spoke in sync. They’d seemed so different at first, but they were truly alike in more ways than Jackie had realized. They couldn’t help but feel a pang of satisfaction, as well—they’d been right about Helena’s true nature. Even after all that anger, she turned right around the moment she thought Jackie was hurt.

  Jackie: “Really, I just got a bit dizzy, is all. I’ve never been in an argument before.” They forced their body to rise to its feet; a small part of them felt like they were the wrong height. “See? All good. And I forgive you.”

  Helena seemed shocked, almost appalled. “Why?”

  Jackie: “It’s all sorted out, right? No point in staying upset about it.”

  Helena took a step back, as if struck by their words. “That’s it? After all of that, you just… want to end it with that?”

  Jackie nodded. “Mhm.”

  Helena: “…why? Why do you care so much? Why are you so invested?”

  Jackie: “Huh?”

  Helena: “You’ve known us for less than a day. Why put in so much effort for people you hardly know?”

  Jackie was stunned—this time thanks to their own emotions, not just an influx of someone else’s. They cocked their head, furrowing their brow.

  Jackie: “I don’t get what you mean. Why wouldn’t I care?”

  Met with that, Helena scratched her head, desperate for a real answer. “How does any of this benefit you? Why put your life on the line, why put up with me after how I just treated you? Why do you care? How do you care?”

  Jackie’s face merely distorted with further befuddlement. This was the most incomprehensible question they’d ever been asked. They scratched their head, almost mimicking Helena as if in hopes it would spark an answer. Looking back up to her, they finally responded,

  Jackie: “I mean, why wouldn’t I care? You guys are my friends, right?”

  Helena looked down at them with widened eyes, and as realization swept over her, she couldn’t help but admonish herself—no, this revelation made her feel immensely stupid, so much so it infuriated her.

  Did the person standing in front of her even have the capacity to betray someone?

  As those thoughts swam through her mind, Strade finally stood, stepping beside Jackie and wrapping an arm behind their back and over their shoulder with a wry smirk,

  Strade: “That’s right, we’re all good friends here. Speakin’ of that, I’m not too keen on dying now that you idiots are here, so I’d love to hear our friend’s little plan.”

  Jackie nodded and cast their gaze to Helena, as if asking for permission. She sighed, crossing her arms in front of her. “Fine. Let’s hear it.”

  Jackie’s eyes lit up, and they nodded eagerly,

  Jackie: “Our previous plan failed because it was able to stop Sam’s arrow, but I think I figured out the secret to how it managed that while we were running. No matter how much stuff we threw at it, it kept deflecting it effortlessly. But, when Helena threw that big rock at it, it completely fumbled and ended up falling down the stairs.”

  They raised a finger as they continued, “I think it was acting on a built-in instinct, one designed to protect it from small projectiles. But, it has a size limit. That giant rock was too big, so it had to stop and actually think about how to protect itself.”

  Sam: “So, we just need to hit it with something big?”

  Jackie shook their head. “We couldn’t hit it hard enough to kill it in one go. We’ll still have you take it out with your bow—we just have to make sure all its hands are occupied first.”

  Jackie paused for a moment as if expecting to receive a question, but the others merely exchanged gazes. Seeing this, they continued on, “We’ll have to find a good spot in this complex to execute the plan—a big room with a balcony or something. And, once we’re ready, we’ll need someone to do the dangerous part and—”

  Helena: “I’ll do it.” Helena nodded assertively, but Jackie quickly shook their head.

  Jackie: “I need you for something else.” They looked to Strade, eyed him up and down for a moment, and then asked, “How fast can you run?”

  ? ? ?

  Kumori: “Come back, come back, come back, please come back come back come back come back comebackcomebackcomebackcomeback COME BAAAAACK!”

  Racing down the hallway, its skeletal hands digging into the walls, floor, and ceiling as it flung itself forward in a desperate scuttle, the Kumori screamed between sobs.

  Several paces ahead of it, Strade slid as he approached an intersection, leaping and kicking off the wall to pivot into the next hallway. Behind him, the Kumori nearly crashed, limbs flailing as it slid across the floor and whipped its body around. Four arms braced against either wall at once, and, using those arms to sling itself forward like a slingshot, it began to close the gap between them again.

  Strade: “Shit, shit, shit, shit shit shit shit SHIIIIT!”