The mood in the zombie glen sours quickly after Piper is carted off with the admiral and his team. By the time the job is done, Tabitha’s on the verge of tears from all the digging and Fallow won’t stop complaining about how bad his back aches from all the sitting. It takes the rest of the day to bury all the zombie bits and another day and a half to make our way back to the castle in Gillan—Harikin’s castle, now. This guy’s had it out for me for as long as I can remember and I wouldn’t be surprised if my first assignment in his new army was to put my head in a guillotine and yank the cord myself.

  I’m desperate to find Piper when I arrive but before I can even look for her, the guards escort me straight to the royal steward for a debrief on the whole zombie ordeal. His name is actually Corzyph but everyone just refers to him by his title because it might as well be his whole personality. His job is to attend to the day-to-day minutiae of running the kingdom so the king and his family can spend their time lounging around, drinking themselves silly. Or at least that’s how it’s worked up to this point. The place is under new management now and I’d be willing to bet that Harikin intends to make some major adjustments to his job duties.

  After explaining for the fifth time why the assignment took so long, I ask the steward where Piper is. He finishes scratching notes into his ledger before setting the pen down to say through a scowl, “And why would you need to know where the princess is?”

  “Cut the crap, Steward. I know I’m getting kicked out of the castle and I want to see her before I go.”

  He gives me what I think is supposed to be a smile before closing his ledger and standing up to face me. “As far as you’re concerned, Piperton Feldkamp is indisposed for the foreseeable future. Don’t know if you’ve heard, but this country is currently leaderless. No one is to see the prince or his daughter until after the coronation. And as for you, now that our business here is finished, you are to vacate the premises immediately.”

  Guards are waiting for me outside his office to make sure I don’t steal anything on my way out. The final indignation that comes standard with the unexpected loss of one’s occupation. I’d tell them I have a room to clear out, but nothing in it actually belongs to me. All that’s left for me to do now is see that the drawbridge doesn’t hit me on my way out. After that, it’s onto the barracks on the northern edge of town to be given my new assignment. Which isn’t great, considering our army just happens to be in the middle of its latest pointless war with our rivals to the north, Fornia. In any other situation I’d be happy to leave the castle now that it’s teeming with activity to prepare for the future king’s coronation and the former king’s funeral. But now it just feels like I’m going to a funeral of my own.

  It takes the rest of the afternoon to walk all the way through Gillan to where the barracks are. I’m supposed to report to the officers’ tent when I get there, so I look around for the fanciest-looking canopy I can find and then make my way inside. I’ve been told that somewhere in here is a Commander Garrington.

  There’s a handful of senior dickheads sitting at desks inside the tent, and not a one of them acknowledges my presence when I walk in. So I go ahead and stroll up to the biggest desk in the room, then stand at attention with my hands behind my back as I introduce myself by announcing my title, “Captain Darion Halstead, reporting.” It’s how you say ‘hello’ in a place like this.

  Garrington’s a big guy who doesn’t look like he’s seen actual combat in about a decade. His chair groans in protest as he leans back to look up at me. There’s a big piece of something leafy and green lodged between his teeth. I’m guessing iceberg. Or maybe butterhead. Definitely not romaine. He doesn’t strike me as a romaine man. Whatever it is, it’s very distracting when he talks, “Welcome, Captain. I’ve been expecting you. I’ve heard of your exploits in the Royal Beast Brigade. I’m not sure what I did to deserve a man of your reputation under my command but suffice it to say, I’m sure glad to have you.”

  My mouth involuntarily snarls as I shake the commander’s hand and tell him, “Glad to be here.”

  He doesn’t seem to notice. Or maybe that’s just how everyone looks at him. “Now, as I’m sure you’re aware, being on the front line will be very different from what you’re used to. I assume you’ve stayed apprised of our situation in the north. We’ve finally got those Fornian Bastards on the run and we need to keep the momentum going. They may have us beat when it comes to firepower, but what we have is numbers. And now it’s more important than ever that we take an aggressive stance. Assert ourselves on the battlefield. With the death of the king, the Fornians will think they smell blood in the water. A change in leadership always brings about uncertainty and they’ll assume this is their opportunity to turn the tide back in their favor. But that’s not going to happen. We’re throwing everything we’ve got at them. Everyone’s getting sent to the front. As a captain, you’ll have fifty soldiers under your command. Your new platoon has already been briefed and is there waiting for you. We’ve got you shipping out first thing in the morning. Assuming you’re the man I need for the job, that is. Judging by your reputation, I’d say that’s the case.” He stands to finish, “So, Captain, can I count on you?”

  “Yes, sir.” God help me, I need to find some way out of this.

  “Oh, and of course,” he motions toward my hip, “you’ll have to leave the Kingsblade here with me. I’m to make sure it gets sent back to the castle. Property of the monarch.”

  ***

  The place stinks to high heaven when the rest of the garrison is present. It’s even worse when night falls and we’re all bedded next to each other, side by side on tiny cots listening to each other snore. I don’t know what material was used to make the blankets but I bet it would make a great abrasive for sanding down metal.

  There’s no chance I’m getting any sleep tonight so I wait til the rest of these sorry sods are asleep before getting up to quietly let myself out. Once I’ve left the tent, I throw my blanket up over my head and hunch over so that I’ll look like one of those plague-ridden folk you hear so much about when you live in the city. Then I make the long journey back through town toward the castle.

  The place is locked tight with a few drowsy soldiers standing guard outside the curtain wall. No big deal. I know this place like the back of my shield. There are parts of the wall that have eroded more than others and Piper and I have found all the most climbable sections over the years. I stay hidden in the hedges as I make my way to the rear of the castle where there’s an especially disheveled stretch of wall with stones jutting out here and there. It even sits just outside the purview of the tower guards. I toss off my makeshift shawl and then it’s just a simple matter of scaling the wall to get inside. Piece of cake.

  A bovine is standing next to me at my landing spot on the other side and the beast immediately moos to alert the guards of my presence. Even the livestock have it out for me here. I throw a hand up over its mouth while pressing a finger against my own to shush the squealer. After the informant’s been cajoled into silence, I dart across the grounds and make my way in through a second-story window.

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  It’s quiet. Weirdly quiet, considering what I’m used to in this joint. If this was still King Leopold’s castle, there’d be revelers stumbling through the halls after leaving whatever flimsily-justified celebratory event just ended. But now it sits silent and empty while everyone sobers up for the big coronation tomorrow. I walk casually across the stone floor, abandoning the strategy of stealth and assuming one of blending-in now that I’m inside the castle walls. The place is huge and Piper’s room may as well be miles away at this point, so I settle into a leisurely pace and pray that I don’t encounter any aristocratic night owls who might recognize me.

  I pass a few servants that pay me no mind as I weave through the halls I’ve gone down a hundred times. My heart momentarily stops when two guards round a corner. But it seems that word hasn’t gotten around about me yet because both of them simply nod as they walk by. Or maybe they just don’t think I’m worth troubling themselves over, which might actually be more likely. I suppose I should consider myself lucky to not be important enough to bother with. One more hall to go before I reach the stairs that lead to Piper’s room and, just as I enter it, I spot her pacing up and down alone, muttering to herself while she threads her hair through her fingers.

  She hears me coming around the corner and looks up, dropping the auburn lock before grinning and taking off in a jog toward me. She stops a few feet shy of where I’m standing and, despite the godawful day I’m having, I can’t help but smile back at her. “They told me you’d already left! Unless…did they reassign you a second time?”

  I let her down gently, “No, I’m just here visiting. They have me leaving tomorrow to report to the front line in Fornia.”

  Her smile quickly turns over on itself. “The same day as the coronation? Wow, they must really be desperate.” Then she shakes her head at the wall. “I hate that this is happening to you.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, out of the cauldron and into the fire, I guess. Being in the Beast Brigade wasn’t exactly a joy but it wasn’t anything like what serving in the war with Fornia will be like.”

  “Sorry…I don’t know why my father is doing this to you. He knows I don’t want you to go. Sometimes I think he hates me.”

  I spot a sofa along the wall and put a hand on her back to walk her over to it. As she’s sitting down I tell her, “Well, he did name you Piperton.”

  She suppresses a laugh before correcting me, “Actually, that was my mother.” I take a seat next to her and then she tilts her head toward the floor as she leans sideways against me. I wrap an arm around her back when she tells me, “I miss her…She was my best friend. I really wish she was here now.”

  We sit there for a minute or so while a group of noble folk walks by. I keep my head turned to the side so they can’t get a good look at me. After they’ve passed, I make the mistake of looking up just as a woman in the back glances over her shoulder and the two of us make eye contact. She immediately stops while the rest of the group continues down the hall. And then I realize I recognize that eyepatch. She starts trotting back to where Piper and I are sitting, yelling, “Blimey, I been looking all over for you!”

  The princess and I untangle and look up as Tabitha skids to a stop in front of us. “So sorry to hear about your uncle but…Princess Piperton! You’re like a real and proper princess now! You can do whatever you want!” She’s giving Piper a big, toothy grin as she says it. Looks like she’s even afforded herself a couple of shining gold teeth to replace the ones she lost to the hydra.

  Piper lets out a sad laugh before setting her straight, “I’m sorry to say it’s actually quite the opposite. The new king has very different expectations of me from the last one. And this whole place is on lockdown right now. My father’s paranoid of assassination attempts before his coronation and I’m not allowed to leave the grounds until after it’s over.”

  Tabitha’s grin disappears. “Expectations? Like what?”

  Piper’s eyes roll toward the ceiling. “Liiiike spending the rest of my life attending galas and planning banquets and giving speeches while I get old and fat in this dusty old castle.”

  Tabitha’s toothy grin returns. “Well, that don’t sound so bad!”

  “It means no more adventures, Tabby.”

  “Oh.” Seems her grin is gone for good this time. “…So why don’t you leave then? After the coronation?”

  Piper arches a brow. “Leave?”

  “Yeah, abstinent! You could abstinent!! Right?”

  I’m dumbstruck. As in, struck by a very dumb person. I can’t help but interject, “Tabitha what the fuck are you on about? Do you even know what that word means?” I don’t know who dropped this woman on her head as an infant but if I ever find out who it was I’d like to have a word with them.

  Piper informs me, “She means ‘abdicate.’ Meaning, relinquish my claim to the throne and give up all my royal duties.”

  Tabitha points at her. “Oi, that!”

  Piper shakes her head. “That’s something that has to be requested and granted by the king. And Father would never allow it. I’m his only child and he refuses to remarry. I’m trapped here.”

  I rejoin the conversation, “You know—potential silver lining here—this does mean you get to be queen one day. You realize that, don’t you?”

  She looks at me with those big, doughy eyes of hers as she shakes her head. “I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that. These people are miserable. They never leave this place. I want to see the world.”

  It’s quiet for a few seconds until Tabitha says, “So, then leave anyway. If you can’t absticate then just…leave and don’t tell anyone where you’re going.”

  “Oh Tabby, I…” It gets quiet again as crease lines appear between Piper’s brows and the wheels in her head start to turn.

  Uh-oh.

  I try to nip it in the bud, “Piper, you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking…are you?”

  “Shut up, I’m thinking.”

  Tabitha wrinkles her face. “Thinking about what? What he was thinking you was thinking about? Err—thinking you shouldn’t be thinking about thinking about?”

  “Everyone stop saying ‘thinking!’” Piper has had enough of our shit. Frankly, I’m fed up with us myself.

  It isn’t long before I give up the fight and admit, “Well, maybe it is something worth thinking abou—” Piper shoots a fiery glare at me. “Connntemplating on. I mean, maybe it’s not such a bad idea. You and me know how to rough it, don’t we?”

  Her glare only hardens. “‘You and me’? As in, the two of us leaving here together?”

  I actually hadn’t meant it like that. But now that I think about it, that’s sort of how it sounded. The words came out of my mouth and now here I am, expected to follow through. Though I must say, avoiding the cauldron and the fire at the same time by getting myself out of Garrington’s army does sound pretty damn tempting. Downright ideal, in fact.

  That’s it, I’ve convinced myself. “Yeah, let’s leave here together. Both of us. We’re resourceful. We know people. We’ll keep each other safe.”

  Piper’s smile finally returns. “Really? You think we could actually do that?”

  I guess I do. I mean, I suppose it’s possible. Out of my peripheral vision, I see Tabitha raise her hands up to cradle her cheeks. I give Piper an uneasy nod and then she gives me a hug like I’ve never experienced before. She’s positively crushing me with her arms. It actually kind of hurts.

  And with that, it’s settled. My heart has melted and the decision has been made. The princess and I are running away together.