Chapter 45

  Demons’ bad manners fucked them over again. No one taught them grabbing my throat is a health hazard. Sure, my focus took a hit, but it didn’t stop me from shattering the shackles. Burned a ton of mana, though, so I dealt with the rest using the torture gear left around. That stuff’s piercing power was shit. Had to get creative shoving the tips into their bodies. I mean… some perverts might’ve enjoyed it.

  When it was over, I let out a heavy breath and collapsed. Hard to believe… I’m alive. Despite everything, I’m fucking alive. More than that—I killed them all. Every last one. They got me a few times too, but that’s small potatoes. Insanity… I’ve gotten stupidly strong. Like a damn superhero. Everyone probably dreamed of this as a kid. Get insane power, do some good—or not-so-good—deeds. My fantasy was a bit different. Well… she loves me, doesn’t she? I imagined the neighbor’s asshole, who I always clashed with over his stupidity and arrogance, getting that power. I pictured the helplessness and humiliation facing an unstoppable, vile enemy. Yeah, I’m a pro at scaring myself shitless. Back then, I thought: good thing that’ll never happen. But looking at this pile of corpses, I realize—society’s damn lucky this power went to a chill guy like me.

  So now, I’ve got a real feat under my belt. No clue how many healers hell’s still got, but the number of tortured kids just dropped hard. I deserve a fucking medal, not your stupid penalties. Fine… No time to linger at the crime scene. Gotta find my daggers and get the hell out.

  They were lying in the bloody mess by my graffiti. Which, by the way, I painted with blood from that same mess. Not mine, obviously—I don’t have that much. I also scrounged up some clothes. Never been picky about secondhand, so I grabbed the first pair of pants and threw on the first cloak I found.

  I was about to leave when melancholy hit like a truck. The oppressive silence sucked my thoughts dry. My ears rang so loud I barely stayed upright. These damn orange twilights crushed my soul into the dirt. Death’s become so routine. God, I want to be by the sea, with bright sun and gentle waves tickling my feet. Maybe someday… In twenty, thirty years… I won’t last that long. I need help. At least someone to talk to. Someone to lean on. Freeing those two kids lightened my heart a bit. I thought: I won’t be alone anymore. But they betrayed me. Whatever… I’ll find replacements.

  - Yo, anyone still got a head? One’s enough! – Silence. These dead fuckers are ignoring me.

  - Fine… I’ll look myself.

  Didn’t take long. Behind a house corner lay a mostly intact corpse. Oh, right. I killed this one in stealth mode. Looks fine outside, but inside, his brains are a casserole. Speaking of… What’s demon brain taste like? Hmm, curious…

  I cut off the head and stuck it on a spear. Turned out cool. Nice long horns, badass black tattoos on the cheeks like a Viking. And his long tongue dangling from a slack jaw is pretty witty.

  - Perfect! From now on, you’re Wilson!

  - What? Don’t like it? It’s canon.

  - What canon? Come on. Every outcast needs a Wilson. You’re not a real survivor without a pal named Wilson. Or you wanna be Friday? Can’t guarantee that name fits, since I don’t know what day it is. You don’t want to be called “Some Random Weekday, Don’t Know Which, Don’t Give a Shit, Honestly.”

  - Oh, shut up.

  - Yeah, you’re right, I made up a buddy to shut up.

  - Read too much Freud? Let’s just get out of here.

  So… life’s back to normal. I found a small cave in a cliff, a few meters up. No regular doggo’s climbing that. Had to trek a bit to find it. Now I jog and exercise every morning. Hundred push-ups, hundred squats, and abs. No superhero boost, sadly. I’m into climbing, practicing with a sling. I hunt monsters, including the semi-smart ones. Also meditate, or whatever… Basically, I sit for hours, trying to feel the electric field around me. Wilson stands guard during those. We get along fine. He helps with hunting and daily stuff. Good guy, just quiet. Probably an introvert. Still, nice to have him. I tell him about my life, recap movie plots, stuff like that… Makes it easier.

  I’ve switched to a diet of roasted brains. They taste like omelets. Well, kinda. I forgot what omelets taste like. Tried eyes, tongue, liver, other organs—nothing beats brains. Weird I haven’t gotten scurvy or melanoma yet. Is demon meat that vitamin-packed?

  For a bed, I use doggo bodies. Gut them, and they’re pretty soft. Not as good as my old mattress, but decent. Conveniently, their bodies don’t rot. They just dry out into rugs. No clue why. Maybe hell’s missing certain bacteria, or the devs forgot about decay. Thanks to that bug, Wilson stays “alive,” and my back gets a comfy rest.

  I’ve had plenty of time to puzzle over this world, but no satisfying answers. Our worlds are definitely connected. That damn piano’s proof. No creature here could know who Chopin is. It’s all so fucking stupid… And that portal… Like it was made to mock rappers. I always knew they end up in hell, but now there’s hard evidence. If the worlds are linked, there’s gotta be a way home. But… I can’t even escape this damn hell…

  I sat on the cave’s edge, legs dangling. Wilson sat beside me. Far ahead stretched a black valley, crisscrossed by thin orange rivers. Pillars of black smoke rose, blanketing the sky. Rare ash flakes fell like snow. Mood was ripe for nostalgia. I decided to visualize a bit.

  - You’re on the shore, feeling the salty breeze from the sea… Believing you’re free, and life’s just begun… Your lips burned by your lover’s kiss, soaked with tears…

  - …

  - Idiot, you were supposed to say you’ve never been to the sea.

  - I know I have. Doesn’t matter.

  - Ugh, go fuck yourself. Ruined the mood. Now instead of the sea, it’s just the black ass of the world. As always…

  This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  My home world… Say what you want, it was beautiful. I want to go back… I really want to go back. I really, really, really, really want… Shit… Sitting on my cave’s edge, I realized one simple thing—this place has fucked me up beyond death. Enough! I can’t just sit around. I gotta do something! What if that portal wasn’t the only one? What if that smartass lied about death? I’d have done the same in his shoes. Why’d I believe him? Sure, I don’t wanna test it on myself. But who then? Find more branded kids? Not a bad idea. They’re screwed either way, and it’d be a big win for science. Time to hit the next city.

  Not long ago, a demon spilled the location of another demon hideout. Chances are, there’ll be kids or useful info. I have to check, but this time, I’ll do it right. No crazy shit. No! No shooting lightning from my dick! I’ll scout thoroughly, map the city, plan escape routes, all that. They’ll find me eventually, so why not take the initiative? Since the last fight, I’ve gotten stronger. More experience, but that doesn’t mean I can underestimate them. They’re too dangerous, and I’ve got no insurance. One bad hit could be fatal. No one’s patching me up. If I run into Ash’s personal guard, I’m fucking done. But as Til Schweiger said: “Fear is pointless.”

  I grabbed Wilson, and we hit the road. More fun together. I knew the general direction. No hiccups on the way. Just a couple dozen kitties and a few more doggos. Thought about using a monster’s body to sneak in again, but demons might kill it for no reason. Better go ninja mode. At least I’m ready to fight back.

  This city looked bigger and… more advanced, I guess. Two- and three-story buildings peeked between cliffs. Simple architecture, but still… feels like a city. Lava streams cut through it, crossed by stone bridges. Almost like Venice. Just missing gondolas. No comparison to Nimus’s grim caves. Now I get why Ash didn’t care about those demons’ deaths.

  I practically crawled around the city, keeping a safe distance. No one in sight or earshot. That’s worrying. One side was backed by high cliffs. As a trained climber, I scaled them right away. From up top, I got a better view. The city was actually small. Houses lined the rivers, streets weaving a web of narrow paths. My photographic memory saved the layout. In the center stood a huge building with jagged edges and a big dome. I hadn’t seen a single demon. Felt like Will Smith in I Am Legend. Just as I decided to get closer, two demons appeared. I calmed down for some reason. Weird. Are zombies from that movie scarier than these freaks? The demons were heading to that building. Alright, time to move…

  I sharpened my ears, honed my eyes, clenched my balls, and slid down the cliff onto a building’s roof. Quiet… Not a soul. Since this mission’s crazy dangerous, I left Wilson outside the city. I’m a bit worried for him. He can’t defend himself if shit hits. Wilson’s, well… a pacifist. Though sometimes he gets wild when I’m in a fight, yelling, “Kill! Kill them all!” I get him.

  I tried entering a house through a roof hole doubling as a window. No glass, so no noise. Leap, flip, dagger in hand… and nobody’s home. Huh… Interesting. I climbed back up. Didn’t want to go street-level. Those narrow alleys are too risky. The close buildings let me move across roofs. Checked two more houses—empty. Shit… Where are you all hiding? Did I come here in a dream and clear it out? My dreams are so wild, I’m glad I don’t sleepwalk. No demons… Fine, I definitely saw two earlier. Let’s check that big building.

  I managed to jump to it from a nearby roof. The existence of roofs in hell bugs me. Sure, ash falls sometimes, but come on, did that really call for cover? Whatever, works in my favor. I climbed higher, reaching about the middle of the dome. Then I heard a hum. A ton of voices from the side merged into that familiar modern crowd noise. To the right, I spotted a small hole in the roof. Let’s see… There you are…

  About two hundred demons packed a huge hall, like an amphitheater. Dim light streamed through holes. Dozens of big metal vats along the walls burned, lighting the place up. Demons sat calmly, chatting about daily shit. But when a lanky fucker stepped onto the stage, they shut up. I remember him… He was with Ash. Part Sub-Zero, part Elsa, part buzzsaw… What was his name? Oh, right. Ulfric. How’d I forget? Stormcloak, damn it… Name fits. Scary dude. Don’t wanna cross him. Gotta be careful. Who knows how sturdy this roof is? If I fall, it’ll be less funny than a Tom and Jerry cartoon. But I need to hear what they’re saying.

  - Alright, morons, shut your traps and listen. – Ulfric started. – Job’s simple as your feet. (Weird comparison. Others thought so too, eyeing their legs.) You’re catching one human.

  - A human?

  - Yeah, a human. He’s hiding somewhere around here.

  - This some prank? – Someone in the crowd asked.

  - Yeah, like a test. – Another chimed in.

  - Hope it’s not someone too fast.

  - Shut up, idiots, I’m serious. This guy escaped the crystal prison guarded by Riz.

  - Oh, I know where he is! – Another demon shouted. – Check that psycho’s stomach!

  - Hilarious… We looked. He’s not there. – The demons whispered, shocked.

  - No one knows how he pulled it off. We know he’s got lightning magic. Also suspect he’s tied to the recent healer camp incident. As you might’ve heard, General Pyr and ninety percent of the healers, plus some useless idiots, were found dead two months ago.

  - Yeah, I heard the Lord nearly exploded with rage. Lots of demons got fucked up. (Ooooh… Yesss… Feel my burning ass…)

  - We need to find him to get details. The Lord’s taken this personally.

  - Why do you think he’s involved?

  - Found a message on a house wall, probably written by this guy. Any more dumb questions after which I kill the first fucker I see?

  - No. – Everyone shook their heads.

  - You’ll split into groups of three or four. Each group gets a map of the area. It shows the rough zone where our target might be. We made it based on dead doggos found around. Your job’s to search area “3.” Other zones are covered by other demons.

  A demon started passing out skin scraps marked with white lines. Everyone studied their map.

  - Didn’t know there was a portal here. – One demon said suddenly.

  - Me neither. Never suspected. – Another replied. – Thousand years alive, and bam… Another portal.

  - Probably secret.

  (What? A portal? Another one? YES! I knew it! Who’s this one for? Hope it’s for reaction video bloggers. Bet it’s like: insert the right shape in the right hole.)

  - What’d I say about questions?

  - There weren’t any!

  - Hmm… Fine. One more thing: when you meet this guy, you’ll really wanna kill him. Don’t. We need him alive. (Hell yeah! Now I can track a group, snag their map, and not worry about getting killed. Awesome! Though, them hunting me is a bit unsettling.) Anyone who kills him… Uh… Just don’t.

  - What’s he look like?

  - No dumb questions, moron!

  - Idiot, you’re gonna get someone killed!

  - It’s a human, how’s he supposed to look? Skinny, ugly, always screaming! – Demons hurled insults at the poor sap who asked.

  - Good question. – Ulfric said.

  - What? – The crowd froze.

  - Dumbasses… How you gonna search without a description? Short, black hair, pale skin, small horns on his forehead.

  - What? Horns? He an elk? – The hall roared with laughter. Ulfric cracked a smile.

  - Yo! Get over here! – He called to the joker.

  - Who? Me?

  - Yeah, you. Don’t worry, got a special task for you. – Ulfric held up another skin scrap with text. – Come down.

  - Alright…

  The demon stepped to the stage. He reached out, but instead of a task, he got a monstrous kick to the groin. The hall shook from the sound, and the demon shot upward like a cannonball, right where I was hiding. His body splattered on the ceiling. But that’s not all. I felt tiny cracks spreading under me. No way… No… This didn’t just happen. I’m dreaming… Just a bad dream… This can’t be real…

  Chunks of the roof crashed into the demon-filled hall. On one was my sorry ass. Hundreds of eyes instantly turned blood-red. They all forgot I’m not to be killed. Even that damn Ulfric. In this fucked-up spot, one very late thought hit me: fear’s not fucking pointless at all.