Getting on the horse didn’t go smoothly. Roy planted his foot firmly in the stirrup and tried to swing his leg over with the confidence of a veteran rider. It turned out he was too confident. He slid all the way off the other side and had to use all of his grip strength to stop himself from falling.

  Weird. He didn’t think he’d put that much effort into jumping up. Anyway, the next part would go better.

  “Yah!” he shouted, pulling on the reins.

  The horse started cantering, and Roy suddenly felt very high up. He seemed to have no problem staying in the saddle, though. Whenever he was in danger of sliding off, he only needed to shift his weight slightly to get back into position.

  Controlling the horse’s speed and direction was easy, too. He’d thought that since this was a living thing with a will of its own, it would be different from something like the hovercraft, which responded the same way to the controls every time. He hadn’t expected it to be different in a good way. The horse seemed to anticipate what Roy wanted him to do, and was already doing it by the time he’d made his largely performative pulls on the reins.

  He was feeling pretty good about himself when he pulled up alongside Bastion at the front of their column.

  “I think I might be a natural at this.”

  “Hah,” said Bastion. “You of all people don’t realize it’s the theming?”

  “Oh,” he said, deflating slightly.

  “When I learned to ride, they gave me a jockey costume. It made me feel ridiculous, but it stopped me from falling off and getting my head kicked in. This cowboy costume’s almost as good, and I’d wager your knight one’s about the same. Look at how some of the others are doing.”

  Roy glanced back. Tex was doing fine, his mount holding up well even under the weight of his armor, likely because he had a riding theme just like them. Nate rode well, too, which looked more like the result of practice than theming. Samantha was falling around in the saddle as though she weighed nothing, relying on extra straps to keep from flying off. Kyle did fall off, but did a perfect roll and jumped back onto the saddle, and Cate was struggling like crazy, swinging back and forth, tensing her core and using her theme to perform acrobatics rather than to ride better.

  “They’d be doing worse if the setting wasn’t so good,” said Roy.

  The area immediately outside West Town had a dirt road leading back to the highway. Only rolling tumbleweed could have made it more appropriate.

  “Soon it won’t be,” Bastion reminded him.

  By the time they’d made it back to the paved road, Roy recognized another problem. He wasn’t the right kind of fit for this.

  Sometimes, being fit in general stopped mattering if you hadn’t been doing the exact same thing you were planning on doing, and right now, Roy was feeling fatigue in muscles he hadn’t known existed.

  He looked at the surrounding roadside attractions to distract himself.

  They passed the Chrome Castle motel where they’d healed up, and the Moon-Man Sheriff statue came into view. Its eye had stopped smoking, leaving only a gaping hole where they’d crashed.

  “What a way to make an entrance,” said Samantha, riding up beside them.

  “You heard about that?” Roy asked.

  “Yeah, Nate told me last night.”

  “Wait, you know what caused that?” said Tex. “You have to tell me.”

  “We crashed a hovercraft into it,” said Roy.

  “A flying one?” asked Tex.

  “Yeah.”

  “Badass,” said Samantha.

  “You know,” said Tex. “I think Ryan would actually be really happy you smashed up that thing. He never liked it.”

  “Why?” asked Bastion.

  “Something about the symbolism. You know, a gunslinger standing there forever, after what happened to him. I don’t like it either, because the gift shop was a waste of time. I was hoping to find some guns in there when we first got here, but they’d all been looted already. Probably right after the Warp, since there were no other people here when we arrived.”

  “Tell me more about these places,” said Roy, gesturing at the gift shops. “They look cool.”

  “The UFO building had alien stuff, but I haven’t seen anyone make a costume from it yet. The treasure chest had pirate gear, but the best of that got carried off by another guy who survived being chased by the Rabbit. I’ve never seen anyone look so pissed off. Even Ryan wasn’t that angry.”

  “Another one Bigtime sent in?” Bastion asked, giving Roy a look.

  “Yeah,” said Tex. He looked uncomfortable with that subject and quickly moved on. “That sword,” he pointed right to the stone slab building with a giant blade embedded in it, “has a slot you can put coins in, then you can try to pull it out. I think before the Warp it just had some flashing lights and sound effects, but now it gives you an electric shock. Some of the prospectors like to joke around with new arrivals and tell them there’s this great ‘boon’ to be had if they pull it.”

  “What if there is a boon?” asked Roy. He kind of wanted to try it now.

  “Then all the people who tried it so far weren’t worthy of it,” said Tex.

  “If you want a magic sword around here, you have to make it yourself,” said Samantha. “There were lots of bones in the Dino-Store over there that I used to make mine. I lost my old one in that first fight on the way here.”

  “You mentioned where you were from earlier. Clear Falls, right?” asked Roy.

  “Yeah. It’s a town north of Galveston, built around an Elixir bottling plant, so you can see where Casey picked up her passion. There wasn’t much else in town. We had a Burger Quest and a Smash Hit Video. That’s where we all met.”

  “I’ve heard of Clear Falls,” said Bastion. “It’s a shame how things went there.”

  Roy looked at him, puzzled. “What happened?”

  “The Star Republic happened,” said Tex. “The first we saw of them was a special forces team they sent in to escort their diplomat.”

  “They were so cool looking,” said Samantha. “Their leader had this power armor suit with glowing lights in the eyes. There was a woman with a costume she could alter on the fly, going from witch to princess in like, a second. She was the coolest, I thought. The tech guy had a computer visor and laser weapons. Oh, and one guy had this electric guitar with blades on it and amps built into his costume. They had a sneaky girl too, but she was so good we never saw her.”

  “At first it looked like versatility,” said Tex. “With that variety of themes, at least one would work in any environment, but it was actually just overwhelming power. Their costumes were so good that the setting barely mattered. After they showed up, all Ryan could talk about was wanting to join the army so he could be like them. He kept saying it, even when things started going wrong. See, the diplomacy didn’t go so well.”

  “They invaded?” asked Roy.

  “Nothing so direct,” said Tex. “The whole town depended on trading Elixirs to other settlements. One by one, all our buyers joined the Republic, and the price kept going down. Pay dropped along with it, and people started leaving, either for Star City or Bay Town. Before long, the town was hollowed out.”

  “There was nowhere to go and nothing to do,” said Samantha. “We used to trade for new movies, new snacks, materials for costumes, but it all started drying up.”

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  “Not long after, raider gangs showed up and wrecked the place, but they left the bottling and brewing facilities completely intact.” Tex frowned as he continued. “Clear Falls joined the Republic then, just to fend them off. After that, everyone was signing up for their army or going to their academy if they were young enough.”

  “Ryan wanted us to join together,” said Samantha. He still wanted to be like that fire team, but…Nate’s father died fighting the raiders. He said they were mercenaries hired by the Star Republic, so that we’d have to join them for protection. He never had any proof, though. They had this big argument then, and they’ve barely spoken since.”

  Tex nodded. “Ryan’s the toughest man I know, but Nate still won that argument. Instead of signing up, we decided to try our luck treasure hunting in Florida. The Galveston port wasn't far.”

  “It was so exciting, seeing Bay Town, and all the cool things they were building there,” said Samantha. “But as soon as we left, things went wrong again. We’ve been stuck in West Town ever since.”

  “Tex still goes treasure hunting,” said Roy, thinking aloud. “You could join him?“

  “Part of the fun was being part of a team. Going alone, or with just one other person, doesn’t feel the same, and after seeing Ryan get hurt, I couldn’t face it unless all my friends were there.” Her eyes narrowed with determination. “But now I have some new friends, too, and if we don’t do this, the whole town will get hurt later. I won’t let that happen again.”

  “Can I see that sword you mentioned?” asked Roy.

  “Oh yeah. Check it out,” Samantha reached into her saddlebags, then leaned over between their horses to pass him a weapon made of plastic dinosaur bones.

  The sword was built around a fiberglass dowel core, with a stack of spinal disks mounted around it to form a serrated blade. Below it was a cross-guard of ribs and a skull pommel.

  Each bone was painted in dusty sepia, with green, faux-oxidized streaks added around the edges.

  Roy tried to guess which dinosaur each part had come from. He’d gone through a brief dinosaur phase as a kid, before heading into his all-consuming knight phase, so he knew enough to work out some of them.

  The pommel was clearly a miniature Triceratops skull. Between the frill and the horns, it made for a pretty comfortable grip.

  The cross-guard was made of ribs or some kind. Long, gently curved, giving a wide, protective guard. Roy would have guessed Brontosaurus.

  The vertebrae that made up the teeth of the sawtooth blade were chunky and blocky, making for a menacing, heavy-duty weapon.

  “T-Rex spine?” He asked.

  “Yeah,” said Samantha.

  “OK. This is awesome.”

  “I call it the Spine-Ripper.”

  “Does it rip people’s spines out?” said Roy, staring into space for a few seconds as he visualized it.

  “No. Well, I don’t know, I haven’t tried that yet. When I use it against empty armor, the spine segments kind of get jammed in there and then rip it up on their way out. It’s a spine-that-rips, not something that rips spines.”

  “Well it’s great,” said Roy. “I’ve had the same sword most of my life. I never even thought of making another.”

  “That’s great too, though. The sentimental value lets you use resonance better, right?”

  “Yeah, I keep surprising myself with what I can do, actually.”

  “I can’t wait to see that for myself.”

  As Samantha leaned over to take her sword back, she held there slightly longer than necessary and placed her hand on his as she gripped the hilt.

  “Hey,” Tex spoke loudly, interrupting their moment of lingering eye contact. “I can show you my sword too.”

  “OK,” said Roy, with genuine enthusiasm.

  Tex unsheathed a katana with an iridescent coating and a black tactical grip.

  “I got it from an old strip mall near the wizard tower. The sign said it cost twenty dollars before the Warp.”

  Roy didn’t know that much about what pre-Warp currency was worth, but it seemed like that wasn’t a lot when the vending machines charged one dollar for soda or candy bars. That didn’t mean it lacked cutting power, though. His own sword was likely even cheaper, and if these katanas had been a mass-produced product, then a lot of people had believed in their power, enough to make it real.

  “This mall, is there a lot of good loot there?” asked Bastion.

  “Not that much,” said Tex. “Only part of it is still accessible; the rest is buried underground.”

  “Good,” said Roy.

  “He has a thing about malls,” said Bastion.

  Roy regretted saying anything and was relieved when nobody pressed him to explain any further during the rest of the ride.

  Before long, they arrived at the parking lot in front of the wizard’s tower.

  There were plenty of burned-out rusty cars there they could hide behind, so they left their horses further back and moved in for a closer look.

  The base of the building was a standard box store, except for the stone-brick and vine designs painted onto its walls. The truly exceptional thing was on the roof: a giant wizard head with a tower growing out of the hat.

  It looked like a knockoff of the one from the Elixir vending machine, with all the bootleg weirdness you’d expect: garish lime green robes, uncanny valley proportions, and an overall derpy expression.

  Robed hands protruded from the roof’s far edges, one holding a staff and the other with stars above it. In between them, several wizards patrolled the rooftop, talking to each other and waving their wands around playfully.

  “We’re waiting for nightfall, remember,” said Samantha.

  “Yeah,” said Tex. “I just wanted to make sure they hadn’t changed anything recently, like fortifying the place or adding walls outside the store. Looks like they didn’t bother, and the side entrance is still clear, if you can open it.”

  “I’m sure I can,” said Samantha.

  They pulled back, circled to the right of the building where the tree line provided extra cover, and waited for sunset.

  Nate kept a careful watch through his goggles, and Tex practiced quietly with his katana, making mock slashes at tree trunks. Samantha and Cate broke off from the group for their own hushed conversation.

  Kyle, left as the odd man out, wandered over to Roy and Bastion where they sat against the large tree roots.

  “Hey guys. I just wanted to say again how happy I am to be along on this mission. I’ve never really been with a group that matched my vibe before. In the Republic, or with either of the gangs. They just weren’t interested in anything I find cool or fun, you know?”

  “Yeah. I do know,” said Roy. Roy had plenty of childhood memories like that. The times when he was way more into a game than anyone else, and the looks they’d give him when he talked for too long about something. Before he’d met Bastion, he’d had a succession of friends who got sick of talking to him after a while.

  “You two are lucky, having a bro you can count on.”

  “We’ll be your bros,” said Roy without hesitation.

  Kyle laughed. “OK then. As a bro, I’ve gotta ask you. How do you do it?”

  “Do what?” asked Roy. He did a lot of things, after all.

  “How do you make every girl like you the second you show up?”

  “I don’t. Do I?” He asked Bastion.

  “Pretty much, yeah. It can get annoying, honestly, especially since you don’t even notice it.”

  “When have I…”

  “W,” said Bastion flatly.

  “Huh?”

  “That was a masterclass in obliviousness.”

  “What I noticed was that the moment you showed up in town, Casey trusted you enough to tell the sheriff this plan was a go,” said Kyle.

  “Because we killed the wizards in the bar, and Bastion did most of the work there.”

  “Cate agreed to come along instantly,” Kyle continued.

  “Yeah, but this isn’t a date.”

  “Back on the horses, Samantha couldn’t take her eyes off you,” said Bastion.

  “That doesn’t…OK, I’ll give you that one.”

  “So, how do you do it?” said Kyle.

  “I don’t know,” said Roy. “I’m not trying to do anything. I guess I’m just really focused on the things I like to do, and people like being around guys who are having a good time.”

  “It’s also your body,” said Bastion. “You’re getting way more benefits than just combat prowess out of those workouts. I’d do it myself if I wasn’t too lazy.”

  “You could do it, though,” Roy told Kyle.

  Roy started rattling off workout tips. By the time he was done, the sunlight filtering through the branches had begun to dim. Then Kyle wandered off and started doing squats. Not the best timing with what was ahead of them that night, but Roy didn’t want to dampen his enthusiasm.

  A breeze whistled through the trees, and lights flickered on in the distance.

  Bastion had propped himself against a tree and slid his new cowboy hat over his eyes. Tex lay flat on the grass instead. Kyle anxiously paced the copse between sets, and Samantha snapped her gaze away whenever Roy looked in her direction, the classic reaction of someone caught staring. Cate laughed and waved each time it happened.

  This moment should be tense, he knew. They were waiting around to enter a viper’s nest. He didn’t feel it though. He liked being here, with these fun new people. He liked taking on an enemy base. He wished there were more of them, dozens of gangs instead of just two.

  He looked at the lights longingly.

  Just as his excitement was rising again, Nate beckoned them over, holding a finger to his lips.

  They got the message, and approached the edge of the woods quietly.

  The wizard’s gift shop looked different at night. Red lights ringed the edge of the roof, giving the whole building an ominous feel.

  Up top, the big wizard head’s eyes were glowing, the stars in the giant hand sparked, and the ball of flame atop the staff flared brighter.

  “Right,” said Nate, the first word he’d spoken so far. “My theme is ranged, and Tex’s armor is clunky. We’ll wait out here and cover your retreat if something goes wrong. Bastion, do you want to help us cover the exit?”

  “No. I’m not splitting up with Roy on this one. We need to get our stuff back.”

  “I’m going with them too,” said Kyle.

  “Well, you’ll need Samantha to get in, so that’s four,” he turned his goggles towards Cate. “What can you do?”

  “Acrobatics mostly.”

  “Good for getting up the tower. You go too.”

  Roy smiled at the infiltration group as they stepped towards the edge of the tree line. “Everybody, get hyped.”

  He knew he was.