Sheena, Bethany, and the Nuphidri all donned their own exo-suits.

  Just walking out into an unfamiliar atmosphere without a suit was recklessly stupid, at best. Even when all scans showed the temperature and gas mixture of a planet as safe, no right minded space traveler would willingly risk acquiring the diseases, and other biological toxins of an unfamiliar planet's jungle. Desert maybe, but not a jungle.

  Sheena’s suit was technically most of the pieces of a proper captain’s suit, the helmet’s HUD had lifesign readouts for her whole crew, and it also had a ship status display and remote startup utility built in. The other parts she’d cobbled together from a medic’s exo-suit. She had an auto-suture, wound-sterilizer combo built into the left arm, and a dermal regeneration device on the right. Every time she put it on, she reminded herself, 'It is shocking how much damage a human being can survive short term, just gotta stitch them back together before all the blood gets out. Nuphidri too.'

  Their ship did had a revivification tank that operated as a replacement for a ship’s doctor. Just had to get back alive and the tank could repair almost anything. A lucky find in the same haul the cursed item came from. So far her suit had been up to the task of getting her mangled friends back ‘alive’ enough for the tank to do the rest.

  Bethany had by far the most expensive exo-suit on the team. It had been a gift from her wealthy mother when she graduated wizard university. This wizard exo-suit would automatically draw in nearby magical energy, storing it in the folds of the ‘robes’, significantly amplifying her power. The HUD onboard showed the flows of magic when she activated ‘The Vision’ mode. It was said that in ancient times some wizards could activate ‘The Vision’ in their own eyes, though most students chalked this up to their professors glorifying the golden age of high magic.

  The Nuphidri’s suit was a hundred year old relic from back when she was spit out of the hive mind, fully formed. It was well maintained, and worked like the day it was made. She’d kept it up to date too, with newer scanners and systems, which gave it a sort of well-loved, patchwork teddy-bear look.

  Rex and Lucas returned to the ship to trade their blowtorches and fuel packs for backpacks with bedrolls and food, like everyone else. Then the whole crew set off together on their hot, heavy, humid hike.

  From the sky, the structure was huge. From the ground, it was beyond imposing. Its basic shape was a pentagon, each side of which was twenty five kilometers long and two hundred meters high. The true purpose of its initial construction was lost to the adventurers. They knew it was a ley line adjuster, sure, but for what purpose could someone possibly need one this large? Planetary ley lines could be moved with a Stone Henge sized adjuster.

  Their scanning laps had, indeed, proven fruitful. The Nuphidri downloaded a copy of the ships detailed scan of the terrain and jungle, but even so it took them well more than twice as long as she’d estimated to pick their way through the jungle to get there. The rains that had started less than halfway there hadn’t helped, and oh what rains they were. The jungle didn’t get this thick because it didn’t rain an absurd amount here.

  Almost as soon as it started raining, Rex found himself sinking knee deep every few steps into the mossy floor. When he started to struggle to keep up with the rest of the crew, the Nuphidri asked Bethany to maintain a slow-falling spell on him, to help keep him from sinking.

  “Will that work?” Light-weight Lucas asked from a sturdy bit of rock nearby.

  “If the basic principle of the spell operates just as our engines, then yes. I believe so.” The Nuphidri replied.

  “Why are you not sinking but I am? You’re just as big as me.” Rex asked. They were about the same height.

  “Unfortunately Rex, you are significantly denser than I.”

  Bethany, Lucas, and Sheena all shared a brief laugh. Rex joined in, though he didn’t seem to know what they were all laughing at.

  A moment later Bethany started talking, before Rex figured out what they were laughing at, “Unusual use, but that could work. I’ll maintain it as long as I can. Normally not an hours-long sort of spell, more like a twenty-thirty seconds kind of spell.”

  She took a breath to center herself and reformulated the spell in her head. Changing it to maintain a connection and continuously power the magic, rather than fading when the initial burst of power ran out. Rain slamming into her faceplate, she placed a glowing hand on Rex and imbued him with a reduced gravity coefficient, “Light as a feather, Rex?”

  “Yeah, thanks short stuff!” Rex said, easily stepping out of the watery holes his feet had sunk into, bringing his head several heads above hers once again.

  “You know I could stop maintaining this spell anytime I want, right?”

  “I’m sorry, you are very very tall…”

  “If you two are done with your cat-and-dog routine?” Sheena interrupted them, gesturing to the rest of the crew already leaving.

  If not for the fancy, high-price exo-suit, Bethany’s spell would have lasted only a few minutes at most. Instead it just slowly waned in power over the next several hours as they got closer to the structure. There was less and less ambient magic to absorb as they got closer because the building was doing its job, redirecting the naturally generated magic on this planet into… something.

  And when the rain finally stopped, suddenly there were the monkeys. At least that’s what the Nuphidri called them when she scanned them. The green, seven-limbed primates threw rotten fruit and other… even less savory things at the strange invaders to their territory. Then they swung away through the trees, only to return a moment later with fresh ammunition.

  When they didn’t respond to a couple of warning shots from a blaster into the sky, the crew resorted to having Rex shout really loudly at them through the loudspeaker built into his suit for riot control. That worked, for a while. Then they returned in significantly greater numbers and the attacks changed from relatively harmless dookie-pies to full-on attempted wizard-napping.

  To everyone’s surprise, the Nuphidri was the first to open fire. She blasted the one that touched Bethany’s robe, and the next nearest three she could see in rapid succession. The creatures scattered quickly and did not return. “Even primitive primates understand death.”

  After dealing with the aggressive fauna, the Nuphidri looked back at her map.

  “It seems the jungle’s Topography has significantly changed due to the rain, this is not as the scans say it should be. We shall have to finish the last quarter kilometer the old fashioned way.” And with that she extracted a machete from her pack. “I suggest a mostly direct route.”

  The rains started again…

  ...

  ...

  At least the hole in the wall was where they expected it.

  Soaking wet, annoyed, and hungry, the crew staggered inside the ancient structure. Whatever material had once made the door had long since decayed, while the structure itself remained seemingly unweathered by the passage of time.

  “Humans, did you notice the lack of flora touching the building?” The Nuphidri asked. “About a meter out, nothing growing, and the trees that are close are shy to touch it.”

  “Interest-” Bethany was cut off by the song playing loudly from Rex’s backpack, meaning he was intending to start making food.

  He spun around to face the rest of his crew, “What?! I’m famished. I cut down trees while you all just flew in circles, and that hike was shit on top of crap. Sometimes literally. You can’t tell me you guys aren’t hungry?”

  Lucas laughed and helped Rex unload a camp stove from his pack to cook a little meal, and make a little fire now that they were finally out of the rain. He also got the quarantine field generator out, so they could safely unmask to eat.

  Of course, it had stopped raining only a few seconds after they got inside, as if the mother nature of this world did it just to spite them.

  The song started its second verse and suddenly the whole structure shook and jostled; the sound of joyous laughter echoing through the ruins.

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  Rex dropped the tube of dried F-Meat in the ancient dust and drew his electro-sword and blaster. He flicked the blaster’s safety off, and the sword’s power on, causing it to sizzle and pop as it vaporized the water off the blade. Prepared to battle, Rex was ready to kill whatever the hell that was. Lucas joined him, drawing an electro-dagger and pistol.

  “Oh, no… you’re fine, little meatbags, I’m not upset,” the voice said, it sounded like it was near tears with laughter and... joy? “Ahhh, I just haven’t heard that song in well over a thousand years. Where could you have possibly picked it up?”

  “YOU KNOW THE CURSED SONG!?” Rex roared from within his heavy metallic suit.

  “Cursed?” The ruins themselves seemed to ask. The disembodied voice came from the walls, the floor, the air around them. They’d scanned for lifesigns. Thoroughly. This place was supposed to be abandoned. “Cursed how? I always thought it was kind of a bop. Now, tell me fine folk, where did you learn it? And from whence does it issue?”

  Rex spun around, ready to shoot and charge at whoever was talking.

  “Easy, Rex.” Sheena said, noticing his heart rate spike. “The voice hasn’t done any harm to us, yet.”

  Lucas generally had a good intuition for danger and malicious intent, and he sensed none. “Hmm… Sheena’s right, let's take it down a notch Rex.” He sheathed his dagger and holstered his pistol.

  The ruins spoke again, a subtle sarcastic bite not fully suppressed in its tone, “Yea Rex, Sheena’s right. I mean you no harm! I’m Bob by the way, or Robert if you’re fancy. So… where did you kids learn that song?”

  Sheena addressed the voice, “As you’re now aware, I am Sheena, and he is Rex. A pleasure to meet you Bob, I’m sure. The shorter human male is Lucas, and the other human woman is Bethany. And this is–” Sheena stopped talking abruptly without introducing the Nuphidri she was gesturing at. Bethany’s heart rate had shot through the roof and her other life signs indicators showed she was maybe about to have a panic attack? Sheena wasn’t really a medic, so she couldn’t be sure, but something sure as hell had excited Bethany a great deal.

  “And I am one of the Nuphidri, of course.” The Nuphidri introduced herself, Sheena was suddenly too busy staring at Bethany, brows furrowed.

  All the surfaces of the large room began to glow softly. There was a pulse, a flash, and there stood amongst them a gently shimmering illusory humanoid form. Like a man made of shiny fog. No fine edge to him at all.

  “Ahh, that’s better. I find it’s much easier to talk with you little meatbags when you have some sort of… shape to look at.” Bob said.

  “That is better.” Bethany muttered. Her heart rate had not lowered, she knew something and it set her adrenal response going. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to speak, and not quite finding the words.

  Rex sheathed his sword and holstered his blaster, but he kept a hand on the hilt of the sword, just in case. In case he needed to stab fog.

  “Now then, can you tell me where you learned that song?” Bob’s voice now came from the foggy shape.

  “It comes from a cursed… object that simply will not leave us be.” Sheena said. She stepped over to Rex’s pack and shifted it upright so Rex could fish it out.

  “It’s this… gods forsaken… thing.” Rex pulled out the object and tossed the glittery, diamond-studded, disco-ball looking, codpiece on the ground at Bob’s foggy feet.

  The whole ruins shook with laughter, harder than it had before by far. Dust that had lain undisturbed for centuries found itself falling through the scattered beams of light sneaking into the room. Just before the adventurers started feeling unsafe from the shaking they realized it was Bob, laughing. His form had doubled over.

  “Oh goodness… I see.” He finally managed to wheeze out between laughs.

  The four humans and one Nuphidri all looked at one another confused. This horrible thing was no laughing matter.

  “Ahhhh… Jeez. Boy, THAT thing takes me back.” Bob’s foggy form wiped non-existent tears from his lack of a face. His shape seemed to notice their lack of humor about the situation, and he straightened up, “Allow me to explain… and also teach you kids how to use that thing, properly.”

  “It has USES!? You mean other than driving people insane?” Lucas was incredulous.

  “Well for one, it has other songs. Several thousand of them, in fact.” Bob’s foggy form bent down and scooped up the cursed disco-codpiece. “Ahh, I see it’s in cooking mode.”

  There was a pulse of magical pressure from Bob, and the song that had been playing the whole time they talked abruptly ended, mid song.

  “What the f-” Lucas started to express what the whole crew was thinking when Bob interrupted.

  “LUCAS, my boy, come here and put this on, I’ll teach you how to use it.” Bob gestured for Lucas to come closer, “You’re about my maker’s size, it should work for you.”

  “Your maker, Darsun the Great? He created this cursed thing?” Bethany managed to interject.

  “Cursed? This isn’t cursed. You guys have been using it wrong… or letting it use you I guess.” Bob shook his head, “And no, Darsun didn’t make this. It was his jackass brother Andurian. Gave it to him as a gag gift for his six hundredth birthday. It has all of Darsun’s favorite songs on there, as well as a bunch of joke songs and earworms. You guys seem to be stuck with it because… well Andurian always was kind of a dickhead… made it impossible to lose, unless you can work the wizard version of a child safety lock to detach it from your soul, that is. Now c’mere Lucas and put it on.”

  Lucas looked back at Bethany, he’d rarely seen her so… Alert, and focused. She waved her fingers at him in a two handed shooing motion, seeming to say, “Go ahead, do it. I wanna see what happens.”

  He looked at his other crew and they all made similarly encouraging gestures. Rex's two thumbs up sealed his fate. This was their first chance at real information about the thing. It had been seven long years with it, and during that time they’d visited hundreds of planets, asteroids, and moons, searching for answers. All they'd got for their trouble was a strong bond of friendship, and five empty credsticks.

  Lucas shrugged, swallowed hard, and took the codpiece from the foggy form, putting it on over his pants.

  The instant it was in place over his junk the song picked up right where it left off.

  ? Never gonna give you up

  Never gonna let you down

  Never gonna run around and desert you

  Never gonna make you cry

  Never gonna say goodbye

  Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you ?

  The soothing baritone voice of Rick Astley belted out from Lucas’ crotch.

  Bob sang and danced along cheerfully for a moment, “What a bop! Anyhow, if you want to change the song, just give it a nice hard pelvic thrust to the right.”

  “I… what?! Seriously?” Lucas' voice climbed an octave before he gave a thrust to the right, and the song changed.

  ?We didn’t start the fire!?

  Lucas thrust again.

  ?Bye Bye Bye?

  He thrust again

  ?Somebody that I uuused to know?

  Bob gestured at Lucas’ crotch and the volume lowered to soft background music level. “Anyhow, I’ll work you up a manual for use and ideablast it over in a minute.”

  “Iwhatblast now?” Sheena asked.

  “Ideablast. Standard telepathic message with greater instructions... sometimes pictures…” Bob trailed off, realizing… “Do you guys not… not know how to parse ideablasts? Has magic fallen so low since my time?”

  “The only magic user here is Bethany.” The Nuphidri bluntly stated.

  “Yeah, our only magic person is Beth.” Rex agreed.

  The whole structure shook and rattled again, Bob was laughing. “If you say so, tiny baby wizard man, all four of you humans possess the potential for magic, though clearly Bethany has trained the most. And even a thousand years ago, every single Nuphidri body was capable of magic, if only it wanted to learn.”

  Lucas, Sheena, and the Nuphidri looked excited by that prospect, while Rex simply looked.

  All eyes then settled on Bethany as she cleared her throat.

  “Are you…” she had been silent since Bob had confirmed he knew Darsun. If Bob’s maker was Darsun, that meant Bob was… “Are you perhaps, Bob, the Skull? Bob?”

  The foggy shape of Bob instantly crystallized into a clearly outlined human man, he was average height with shoulder length brown hair, pale skin, and blue eyes made of infinitely spiraling fractals. The business around his waist was still fog, but he had toes down at his feet.

  “Ha! That’s me! So even after a thousand years, I’m still spoken of with reverence in the halls of wizardly learning!” Bob’s illusory form had a fully realized face, with a smile including individually visible teeth, everything in fine detail. He practically had pores.

  “Oh… uhh. No. No, sorry. You’re more like a stupid wizard cryptid that people make fun of others for believing in.” Bethany shattered his ego and his form dissolved back into fog, not even man-shaped fog anymore, just fog, fog. “I actually got ridiculed at wizard college when I brought you up. They insisted that your construction would have broken almost every one of the most important laws that wizards followed back in those days, and that Darsun would never have done such a thing. But he made the first space dragons.”

  The fog recollected into a roughly human shape. “Well damn. Darsun did indeed make me, and he did indeed break quite a few laws to do so, but I was just so useful they decided to let it slide. He also broke most of those SAME laws making the space dragons. Your history books need updates. Take it from someone who was there.”

  “I studied you, as best I could, despite the ridicule. You’re supposed to be some sorta omniscient font of ancient wizardly wisdom from the golden age of human magic.” Bethany was practically salivating at the idea of possessing such knowledge, “So what’s an Ideablast, Bob the Skull, and can you teach me to do it? And aren’t you supposed to be a skull, not a building? Or fog?”

  “Ahh, well. This is an ideablast.” He hit her with the full user manual for the disco-codpiece. Her eyes rolled back in her head while she struggled to parse it, but, after a moment, parse it she did. She was not trained whatsoever in the - apparently - lost art of mind magic, but she got the idea(blast), and now knew exactly how that codpiece worked.

  Bob waited for her eyes to refocus on reality, “I can teach you to do it too, also ways to protect yourself against them… actually all of you should learn to protect yourselves from unwanted ideablasts. Oh, and you’re right, I am a skull, I’m projecting myself through this stellar ley adjuster. Here, I’ll give Lucas a map to come get me.”

  Bob ideablasted Lucas with the map, and he parsed it with much less grace and acumen than Bethany had. He twitched and shook, his body convulsing, he changed the song three times, increased the volume, and finally activated the disco-ball feature. His junk became the life of the party, his crotch projecting ‘reflections’ of light from no source.

  “Uggghhh, what the hell?” Lucas said, looking down at his very exciting crotch area; now playing Darude, sandstorm. A map, seared into his mind.

  “Go get my physical form kid, you have the map now. X marks the… me,” Bob’s foggy shape said. “I think it’s about time I brought my maker's knowledge back to the galaxy.”

  “Oh my, Bob…” Bethany was almost frothing at the mouth with excitement, “we’re going to start a new golden age of magic aren’t we?!”

  “Sure, kid.” Bob chuckled, “But…

  “You know the rules, and so do I! Never, never give me up, never let me down, never run around and desert me.”