Tadwick’s question was certainly one that I was curious to know the answer to. Unfortunately, nobody had an answer to give him. She just disappeared. That line of fire certainly went through her… then nothing… no corpse… no blood… nothing. Just a cloak and some gloves on the floor. I never even got to see her face. She gave her life to save me… to save us… and none of us even know what she really looked like. I mean… she creeped me out… she was deeply unsettling… no way I could deny that… maybe it was the spider-like legs… the weird tendril things… the disturbing mask… many things really.

  Maybe I was wrong to be so freaked out by her… I was wrong about the lizardmen… maybe I need to try not to make assumptions about these creatures until I have experience with them. After all, most of these assumptions are simply based on books that I have read… books written by humans… and humans do seem to fear difference quite a lot. Then again… so do I.

  That being said… the first lizardmen that I met tried to kill me and an entire innocent village… so us believing that they were just a bunch of violent thugs that couldn’t be reasoned with was probably a good belief to go into that conflict with.

  Urgh… why does everything have to be so complicated? I miss the days when it was just ‘monsters, evil… people, good.’ Thinking about this stuff hurts my brain.

  Not that I had much time to think about it, I was swiftly congratulated on my use of the sword and my resultant victory against the “heinous beast.” They were so over the top that it was as if they hadn’t even noticed that so many people had died… as if they think this was all a show that was organised for their amusement. Fucking rich people.

  Fortunately, the night reached its end soon after, and we were finally able to leave this awful place. Or at least that was what I thought. The plan was for us to go to stay at V’Rel manor. After everything that had just happened, Rosario invited us. But as we reached the carriage out the front, Smutisha’s butler appeared. The one with the crazy, intense eyes.

  Butler: “The lady Smythe awaits you, sir.”

  Dwynfel: “Apologies… with everything that has just happened, I forgot. Could we reschedule?”

  Butler: “I am afraid not. My lady is an industrious woman. Her time for such meetings is infrequent.”

  By the gods… why does this guy have such an intensity about him? It’s like his eyes are burning into my soul. Kiyui climbed out of the carriage.

  Kiyui: “It’s alright. I’ll wait for you. I know where the manor is. It’s a nice little walk. Tadwick will be alright with Phoenix and Rosario.”

  Nomius emerged from the manor, having finally cleaned all the blood off himself.

  Kiyui: “And Nomius, of course.”

  Nomius nodded as he walked past us and climbed on the front of the carriage. He is a little too large to sit comfortably in the thing. Kiyui turned to Tadwick who was dangling out of the carriage window.

  Tadwick: “Don’t be long.”

  Kiyui: “I’m sure we’ll be back before you fall asleep. After all, you have a whole manor to explore.”

  Tadwick: “Cool!”

  Tadwick smiled and sat back in the carriage. At which point Phoenix turned to me and gave me a concerned look.

  Phoenix: “Be careful. She is more amenable than Gentle, but she is rather… misguided.”

  Dwynfel: “Understood. Thanks for the warning.”

  I lied before… I had not forgotten about this at all. I simply wished that they had. I just want to go to bed… I don’t want to have to continue pretending to like these people. I don’t want to keep being the centre of attention. I want to fade into the background.

  I was led to the far end of the duke’s manor where the guest rooms were. The butler explained that the Smythe family’s home is located in Vardan, but that Smutisha has many interests in Kataravonia and as a close friend of Lady Katheryn she spends most of her time here. So, whilst she may be in the guest quarters, the room we are heading to is where she resides most of the year.

  Eventually, we arrived at a large, ornate looking door. Gold skirtings and all sorts. Completely unnecessary. Why are the doors in this place so large anyway? Even Nomius could walk through them without any difficulty. Like… there’s a good two metres between Nomius’s head and the doorframe. Is having massive doors a status symbol? I really don’t understand rich people at all.

  The butler knocked on the door and Smutisha responded immediately. She is clearly very eager for this meeting to take place.

  Smutisha: “Enter!”

  The butler opened the door and the room that greeted me was bewildering to say the least. Well… it wasn’t the room itself that bewildered me… that was pretty much what I was expecting… it was more the choice of artwork that hung on the walls that threw me.

  It was all incredibly well painted… and looking at the signatures… many of them have been done by some of the greatest artists of modern times… Raffielo, Giovania, Jeff… but none of their famous pieces. Did she get these commissioned herself? That must have cost her a fortune. Especially, given that the subject matter is not something that Raffielo normally depicts. He normally does portraits of aristocrats… not devils, demons and monsters.

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  That one on the end has what looks like a demon seducing a naked woman by playing a flute. One has some massive tentacle monster… I think it is supposed to be kissing a naked woman… hard to tell though. One seems to have a group of weird fish monsters gathered around a woman who is lying naked on a table… those aren’t even in my Almanac… have they been made up? And why are all the women naked? There are more breasts on these walls than there are in Madame Laurent’s.

  The butler closed the door behind me and Smutisha emerged from behind a screen at the other side of the room. She was wearing a very fancy looking robe. It was red with a gold trim with tassels hanging from the bottom. She was smoking a cigarette with one of those long cigarette holders. It looked to be made of ivory and was covered in intricate carvings. She manoeuvred herself gracefully across the room, placed the cigarette down, and started pouring some drinks from a crystal decanter.

  Her hair was all shrunk down and pinned in place. It was also black. Very different to the hair that she had had at the ball earlier.

  I looked behind her to see a series of ridiculously elaborate wigs on various busts surrounding the room. Which answers my question from earlier in the evening… they were all definitely wearing wigs.

  Smutisha: “Took your time, darling.”

  Dwynfel: “Apologies, Lady Smythe… after everything that happened, I was… distracted.”

  Smutisha: “Call me Smutty, darling. Everybody does.”

  Dwynfel: “I think I’m more comfortable with Lady Smythe.”

  Smutisha: “Don’t be so formal, darling. You’re a celebrity round here now. You should act like it.”

  She handed me a glass of brown liquid. It smells like whiskey… I’ve actually drunk whiskey before; I’ve just smelt it in barrels. I took a sip and… fuck… I nearly coughed to death. Why would anybody drink this stuff?

  Smutisha: “First time, darling?”

  I was unable to respond due to all of the coughing.

  Smutisha: “You’ll get used to it, darling. With your new status you’ll be able to get used to the finer things. Now, come over here and sit with me on my newly made chaise lounge.”

  Dwynfel: [Cough} “The what?” [Cough]

  Smutisha: “The long chair, darling.”

  She sat down on this weird long chair thing. It had a purple velvet cover on it and what looked like golden legs. She patted the seat next to her.

  Smutisha: “Come, darling. It will give you a chance to recover from that nasty cough.”

  I sat down next to her… still coughing. She rubbed my back until I recovered. She seems genuinely caring… which I wasn’t really expecting… given how her friend Gentle behaved earlier.

  Dwynfel: “Thank you. May I ask why you summoned me here?”

  Smutisha: “I have a proposition for you. One that I hope you will appreciate.”

  She smiled at me with a delicate smile… she looks very different now that she has removed most of her make up. She looks much more… human.

  Smutisha: “My family has always been very forward thinking when it comes to other creatures and cultures. It was my father who negotiated with the Equine Kingdom on behalf of Vardan all those years ago. He is currently securing an alliance with the Lupinians across the sea to the south east. Other races and cultures aren’t something that we should fear. We should endeavour to understand and appreciate each other as much as possible. Don’t you think, darling?”

  Dwynfel: “My experiences recently with the Lizardmen and Flora have certainly taught me that.”

  Smutisha: “Well exactly, darling. You seem to have a talent for allying people of different races. That is something that I respect.”

  Dwynfel: “Still… I’m not sure how I can help you here. All my alliances were formed through chance and necessity more than anything.”

  Smutisha: “Well, darling. It is currently goblins that I am interested in…”

  Oh, gods no… please no… please don’t tell me that she hopes to ally herself with goblins… please… that is such a bad idea.

  Smutisha: “…they are spread far and wide throughout all of the kingdoms. The Grim in particular, with their constant abducting of women, are a major problem. I am currently trying to work out if perhaps there may be a way of dealing with them that doesn’t involve their genocide.”

  Dwynfel: “Please… Lady Smythe… do not let the fact that I am a goblin trick you into thinking that goblins are in any way pleasant creatures. I truly believe their genocide would make the world better off. They murder… they kill… they rape. They are animals… if you try to negotiate with them, then they will kill you and everybody that you take with you.”

  Smutisha: “Surely though, darling. Being raised by humans, as you were, is what has caused your disposition to be less like your kin. I’m sure that with education, we could teach the next generation of goblins about agriculture, politics, consent and dare I say… birth control. Surely with such an education they would see the merit in allying themselves with humans. Instead of all this murder, they could trade with us. They wouldn’t need to be on their guard from adventurers like yourself. They would be able to have intercourse without the need to raise a child. Surely that would be beneficial to them… don’t you think?”

  Oh gods… I need to talk her out of this… she’s going to get herself killed.

  Dwynfel: “My lady… you cannot educate a nest that already exists. I spent two years in a nest… any goblin who has reached puberty who indulges in any form of sexual activity other than raping a woman is killed for not furthering the needs of the horde… there is no way you are going to teach them population management, never mind agriculture and politics. I was taken from the nest when I was two and I caused hell for my parents. My mother is covered in scars from me attacking her. I genuinely tried to kill her multiple times. Believe me, my lady… the genocide of any goblin nest is a good thing.”

  She looked pensive for a moment. As if that was not the response that she was expecting. Then she finished her drink and popped it on the table to her side.

  Smutisha: “So, what you are saying is that if we wish to have civilised goblins, then we need to remove them from those environments as early as possible. Or better yet, prevent them from experiencing such places at all?”

  Dwynfel: “Well, yes, theoretically.”

  Smutisha: “In which case I shall have to make a different proposition…”

  She turned to me and smiled again. Then she untied her robe and stood up. As she stood, her robe fell to the ground revealing that she was wearing nothing at all underneath.

  Smutisha: “…I would like you to impregnate me.”