My imaginary girlfriend is immune to traps.
It must be one of the benefits of being imaginary, she just doesn’t have to worry about those things in her day to day life. It will surely be helpful if we ever find ourselves in some ancient ruins, but unfortunately right now we are just playing a video game, so it’s not helpful at all. Her immunity doesn’t really apply to the little squares on the screen, and her natural lack of caution causes trouble since she is acting as our guide.
“I-it’s not working.”
“You’re just doing it too slowly.”
I don’t have the dexterity to do it any faster, and it’s not that kind of game regardless. The little animal robot square thingy just dies when the wrong colored laser touches it, and it can’t out speed it either. It wouldn’t be a puzzle game if it could.
“You need to move the blue one the moment the red passes this line.”
We’ve just been through this with the spikes on the last stage, the answer isn’t having a super human reaction time. We are supposed to find a way around the traps, not force our way through them.
“I-it’s impossible.”
“It’s not, you just have to get the timing right.”
“W-we need to stack t-them.”
“Are you even listening to yourself? There is absolutely no way a cat can carry a bear. What you’re suggesting is just cruel.”
They are robots. Square robots with animal themed hats, I don’t think they would care one bit what animal the one on top of them is cosplaying as. And It can’t be more cruel than blowing them up ten times in a row trying to speed through a laser trap.
“I-i’m doing it.”
“Poor Maieow, I can’t look.”
When did she name that blue cat after me? Anyway the red one is on top of it and it didn’t blow up, so I was right. The laser doesn’t seem to be following the red one vertically either.
“I-it’s working.”
“You have to stop this Mai. Kumai is scared of heights and Maieow will end up with back problems if you keep forcing them to do this. Animal cruelty is wrong.”
Don’t get attached to the robots, we already have digital kids in three different games that we have to visit daily, we shouldn’t add pets as well.
“D-don’t get attached.”
“Too late, can we keep them?”
No, we can’t afford pets, or exploding robots. With how often they blow up, just thinking of the repair fee scares me. Not to mention that the hats randomly change each time we open the game and Ami will definitely freak out whenever our cat turns into a frog.
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“N-no.”
“Aww, come on Mai. I promise I’ll take care of them.”
She says that now, but I just know in the end I’ll be the one who has to hold the controller and play with them. And I don’t care how cute she is when she wants something, I’m not giving up this time. Oh, who am I kidding, I’ll look up how to make home made cat food after we finish this stage.
“O-ok.”
“Best girlfriend ever. Ok now let’s guide our new pets to their new home. Just go straight down this path.”
“T-they will fall.”
“Maieow can jump that gap.”
No, it can’t. They can hardly jump at all and Kumai is still on top of it.
“I-it can’t.”
“I totally understand that you want to protect them, Mai, but they will never grow up if you don’t believe in them sometimes.”
I’m not getting into another argument about parenting philosophies with her, so I’ll just do it her way. I believe in you little robots, make me proud.
“NOOOOOOO! They fell Mai, how could this happen?”
Don’t blame yourself Ami, no one could have seen this coming. Sometimes digital robot animals just fall off places and explode, it’s just something that happens when I press the buttons a certain way, totally an unavoidable fact of life. But they are already all better, so we shouldn’t dwell on it.
“I-it’s fine.”
“You’re right. Don’t worry Maieow, you’ll pull it off this time.”
So I should make them plummet to their deaths again? That believe in them philosophy is really hardcore.
“A-again?”
“Yes. They will make it this time.”
And they fell again. Why did she have to get me emotionally invested in them if she was going to kill them so much?
“The horrors.”
I don’t want to impede the robotic animals' growth process, but there is a big red button that could really use a bear’s touch over there.
“M-maybe press that button.”
“I still think they can make it, but sure try that. Go, Kumai.”
The button called a moving platform for Maieow to ride and avoid suicidal jumps. It’s truly wonderful how caring that bear is of its feline friend.
“I don’t see any seat belts, are you sure riding that is safe?”
No, but we are about to find out regardless. Hold on tight Maieow.
“I-it made it.”
“She made it. don’t dehumanize Maieow like that.”
Yes dear. I’ll make sure to show the pets more respect. Anyway, now that Maieow is on her goal platform, Kumai’s path opened up. It being an unobstructed straight line to the end is kind of anti climactic after everything we've been through.
“It feels like a trap. Kumai should probably jump off.”
I can understand that feeling, it’s a bit too simple looking for the ending. but saying that after making that poor bear run into a laser trap so many times doesn’t instill confidence and the laser is still waiting on the first floor. .
“I-it wasn’t a trap.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about you teaching our pets to avoid their problems, rather than face them.”
I’m teaching them to solve their problems in creative ways when the obvious solution isn’t working. Thinking dynamically about problems is important, it was a necessary life lesson. Also, It will hurt if my digital pets become more capable of handling their troubles than I do, running away is my go to response.
“I-it was necessary.”
“I bet you were just too worried that they would end up getting hurt. Anyway, since we cleared the last stage your way in the end, now we do this one my way. Kumai, go break those spikes so we can win this.”
I feel a little bad for the little bear having to fight for his life for no apparent reason, but who am I to question her process. Let’s just see where this gets us.
