Chapter 1: Death in the Embrace of Loneliness

  At the funeral, many of the attendees glared at me with accusing eyes. No words were needed—I could tell what they were thinking.

  Even though I knew I wasn’t to blame for what happened, I still cursed myself. I cursed myself because, in that moment, I had acted like a fool.

  Why had I ignored him? Why, despite sensing something was wrong, had I turned a blind eye?

  Loneliness, regret, guilt, despair… My spirit shattered under the weight of it all.

  Yes, I am tired. Tired of my own hopes. Tired of the world’s empty promises. Tired of going on…

  What’s the point of moving forward when the world has turned its back on you?

  Hoping is foolish when you know your wishes will never come true. They laughed at my desperate struggles, toyed with me like a puppet…

  I hate living in this wretched world. I hate everyone who destroyed my life!... We, the wretched, are nothing but prey to those wolves in human skin…

  Tears streamed down my face as the wind tangled my hair. I stared down at the river below—its surface dark and fathomless under the night sky, like a black hole swallowing everything whole.

  "That’s right… I remember everything."

  I screamed into the void, cursing this world and its people. Then, like a madman, I laughed through my tears.

  No one was there to listen. Only a few cars passed over the bridge, their headlights flickering like indifferent stars. We’ve all become fools, numb and oblivious—just like I was that day. Oblivious to the people around me… oblivious to the shifting shadows in the light and dark… I only realized the truth when I saw the flames.

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  By then, it was too late. There were no choices left.

  The loneliness returns. Not that it matters anymore…

  Loneliness… What a familiar feeling.

  The bridge wasn’t high—just two meters above the water—but the river ran deep, over five meters down.

  I wanted to jump. To free myself from this pain in an instant. But I’m still human. Like all living things, I cling to survival…

  Yes, I fear death, just like anyone else. Yet my greatest terror isn’t death itself—it’s the eternal loneliness that comes after.

  My life will never be the same. They will never come back.

  Mom… Dad… Little brother… Can I join you now? Is there even a place for a wretched outcast like me?

  It doesn’t matter.

  I have no place left in this world. I don’t want to stay here any longer. This suffocating, agonizing loneliness… Every night, I relive that day in my nightmares. Every day, memories flood my eyes with tears.

  They all call me a psychotic killer. They say I did it on purpose! Why does no one remember I was just a seventeen-year-old boy?! I’m innocent! Why would I ever want to destroy my own family?! Why would I want to destroy anyone else’s?!

  I told them about the man I saw—the one responsible! The mysterious man in the black suit, the brown hat, the gray suitcase in his hand! I told them everything! I revealed the whole truth!

  But they didn’t listen… No one listened. They judged me with blind eyes and ruined what little life I had left. They said I had a history of mental illness. They said the evidence was against me. They said witnesses had testified against me. What witnesses?! Were there even any witnesses to begin with?!

  It was all a conspiracy. To bury the truth, they wove lies and made me the scapegoat for their filthy schemes.

  I have no hope left. No one loves me anymore.

  What if I could have controlled everything? What if I had known? If only I could have stopped it… Maybe things would have been different.

  But it’s too late now. There’s no going back.

  I took a slow step forward. My foot met empty air.

  And like a bird with broken wings, I fell.

  In those fleeting seconds, my little brother’s face flashed before me—his bright, excited voice echoing in my ears one last time… My mother’s voice as she told us stories… My father’s murmurs as he watched the news…

  Memories surfaced, then faded.

  Then came the impact—the cold, dark water swallowing me whole.

  The more I struggled, the deeper I sank. My vision darkened. My lungs burned. The water choked me.

  In that hazy void, I heard whispers—words I couldn’t decipher before consciousness slipped away.

  And then… only darkness remained.

  Only darkness.

  Only loneliness.