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Chapter 5: Lies?

  “People of Airan, let this day be the day of your journey! May the Gods save your souls!” The Great Father waves at the congregation and makes a deeply praying gesture.

  “It’s over, huh? That was fast.” Targarina straightens up his sitting posture.

  The Great Father is being escorted down from the large pulpit by a number of priests, signalling the end of the sermon. The people are standing up from their pews, trying to leave the massive church. Now, the three are facing big multiple lines of people between them and the way out of the massive church.

  “Oh, Gods! This is going to take forever!” Targarina groans looking at the multiple lines of people trying to get out.

  “Looks like it will be quite a while. Why don’t we stay seated for a bit,” Tarie suggests to the group.

  “Beats standing ‘round.” Targarina slumps back again on the pew.

  He looks at Iberia, still crying silently from the sermon.

  “Hey, now. I have got to ask. Was it really that good? I seriously can’t seem to differentiate that from your run-of-the-mill sermons out back in the villages.”

  Iberia is not answering, instead she keeps on crying. Targarina gives Tarie a look.

  “You? What do you think?” he asks her a question.

  “Of the sermon? I think it was good,” Tarie answers nonchalantly while she looks at her fingernails.

  Targarina is scratching his left ear with his index fingernail, making a little scratch and it lets out a small amount of blood. He stops when he overhears two priests talking to each other as they are walking by the pew he is sitting on.

  “What was that?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Did you repeat what he said?”

  “No, I did not. Lest I incur his wrath.”

  Targarina turns his head slightly at the priests walking away, and stands up.

  “Hm? Wherever are you going?” asks Tarie.

  “Just feeling enlightened. I’ll be back.” He smiles at Tarie and walks away.

  He is heading to the large pulpit. Most of the people have cleared out of the front rows. It is only him present there, but a priest approaches him from behind.

  “Greetings, good sir.”

  “.....Greetings.”

  “Could this humble servant of the Gods help you?”

  “....Oh, yes. How does one donate to this church?”

  “I’ll be! Your generosity shall be paid a thousandfold! The guards are standing by with wooden containers. You may send your donation through there.”

  “I see. I thank you… though, may I see the Great Father while I am here?”

  “.......Hm. I am afraid that will be a little difficult.”

  “Oh? Is he busy?”

  “Yes… quite. He is the Great Father. He must prepare for the next sermon. Now, if you will excuse me.” The priest goes inside the backroom behind the large pulpit without waiting for Targarina’s response.

  Targarina chuckles to himself at the sight, and goes back to the pew where Iberia and Tarie are sitting.

  “The lines are still long. What are you two ladies going to do?”

  “...Yes, they are, indeed. I shall observe the church.” Iberia gets herself up and wipes her tears with her handkerchief.

  “You?” Targarina looks at Tarie.

  “Waiting here is fine for me,” Tarie replies while polishing her nails.

  “I’m going with Iberia, then. If she can actually look around here, I mean.”

  “That is of course, a certainty.” Iberia walks to a big wooden square structure.

  The big wooden square structure is made of some kind of expensive wood, and it seems to be a room.

  “This a confession room?” asks Targarina.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “What is this wood? I’ve never seen this kind before.”

  “Mahogany, I believe. This church must have imported this material from somewhere. Hm… While we are here, would you like to confess, Rina?”

  “Confess what? I’m innocent.” Targarina smiles.

  “About anything. Whatever weighs on your mind. Though, I am not qualified for confession duty.”

  “Why’d you ask then? Also why are you not qualified?”

  “Haha! Silly Rina! I am a woman.”

  “What? Isn’t this basically what all y’all do? What good is a priest if they can’t bear the weight of the sins of the masses?”

  “Oh, you! I was merely jesting! Taking people’s confession is one of my main duties in the capital! Could I consider that you do want to confess?”

  “How long have you been doing it?”

  “For about 8 months or so. I am still quite an initiate in terms of experience, after all.”

  “Hm.. Let me think about it.”

  “Splendid!”

  Targarina is touching the wall of the confession room, feeling its texture. His expression is blank, and his gaze is looking way beyond the wall. Iberia approaches a priest standing near the backroom behind the large pulpit.

  “May the Gods save your soul,” she greets the priest.

  “And they yours.” He bows slightly to Iberia.

  “If the Gods would have it, may I take a person’s confession here?”

  “But of course! Nothing would make me happier than to see a lost lamb taking steps to repent!”

  “This humble servant of the Gods thanks you.” Iberia holds her hands together and bows slightly to the priest.

  “This humble servant of the Gods is a witness to your duty.” The priest also bows slightly to Iberia.

  Iberia walks back to Targarina swiftly.

  “So? Have you decided that you will be confessing?” she excitedly asks him.

  As if being snapped back to reality, Targarina twitches at the sound of Iberia’s voice.

  “.....What?”

  “I said, have you come to a decision on whether or not you will confess?”

  “Like I said, I’ll think about it. I don’t mean today.”

  “When else would we be in church?”

  “In the capital?”

  “Oh, silly you! The capital will be too buzzling! Besides, we will be busy with our tasks later on! …Oh! Do not tell anyone! Lord Lionnel instructed me not to tell anybody until we are in the capital!”

  “That so? Huh.”

  “Now! Get inside the confessional!”

  “Hold on here. I didn’t say I agree with this.”

  “Come along now! Worry not, you will feel at ease once you are inside.”

  “.....Then some questions first.”

  “Ask away!”

  “Whatever I say inside stays inside?”

  “Yes! It is the oath of the church! That is why the Seal of Confession exists! To help a lost sheep take steps to the light without fear. You can confess away without worry! I will guide you along the way in place of the Gods!”

  “...Alright,” Targarina weakly says.

  “Splendid! Now just enter the confessional.” Ibera beckons him and she gets inside the other room in the confessional.

  Iberia sits down on a wooden chair. She makes a praying gesture. The sound of a door being opened can be heard from the other side of the partition. Although she cannot see the person on the penitent side, she knows that it is Targarina from the silhouette. Then the sound of a door being closed can be heard, she takes that sound as a signal, she sits upright and holds her hands together.

  “Lahallua atauk billasantrani hilluandzi…. Speak, Child. In the name of the Gods’ I shall be their witness to your contrite heart.” Iberia speaks in a much deeper voice.

  “......In the name of the Gods, Witness, I have sinned…” A voice a little muffled from the other side of the partition speaks.

  “Yes, Child? How long since your last confession?”

  “....About… three years.” The voice is unsure.

  “Very well. What is burdening your soul, Child?”

  “.......I have….” the voice is a little shaky.

  “Yes, Child. You may confess without worry.”

  “I have this… urges…? And feelings from time to time. Whenever I look at people I always feel envious. Envy at their willingness to believe. Satisfied with not questioning anything.”

  Iberia is about to speak to give words of comfort, but the voice keeps going.

  “I feel hate towards them, I don’t understand why they would just accept the way things are. Comforted by words and no action at all. Constant reassurance and no real impact. How can they just keep on sinning, saying that they regretted it and keep on doing the same sin. I don’t know… I know that I don’t have any right to hold them in such a way. I’m not even better myself. I throw my money at whores, just to feel something, something…. feeling like, like, how do I say this… like in control. Not like before where I… where I… was told to… to just accept. I have been going to confession, they keep saying that if I confess… I would be forgiven. That this guilt or… this ugly feeling would just go away after… I say it. But it… it just keeps being here. Everytime I try to sleep I keep being reminded of how it feels… everytime somebody touches me… it keeps… I keep… I keep trying to compare the feelings, that it… it is different from before. Everytime I asked someone, a priest, they, they…. they… keep saying that was and always will be a sin. But how? It’s not even what I wanted. ‘The very act itself is one of the biggest sins a man can do,’ they said. And then they just say that they forgive my sins… So? Is it not forgivable or forgivable? I have no… no parents… so… so… when they found out, they always looked at me with pity. I have no skills at all except… except for killing. But… but killing is a sin. But that’s… that is how… how I can still be alive to this day. I tried to get… into other jobs… but they ju-just didn’t pay for the whores or anything else really. They are expensive and I can’t keep this feeling at bay… I tried to be a servant when I was… thirteen? fourteen…? They said it was legal and good and I will be given a place to live. But I seriously just can’t… can’t stand the people above me. They keep acting like they were busybodies when all they do all day was chasing fucking rabbits and going into parties to talk a whole lot of nothing. They always seem rushed as if being chased by something… They keep on bitching about this and that only to forget about it shortly after. I made a mistake once and they were acting like I just cursed their entire bloodline, so violence was justified to remind me of my place. Every good work that I did before that simply just vanished… It was just a different cup for fuck sake! The shit in it was the fucking same! So, I don’t get why they had to do that to me! …The people working with me ain’t no better. Instead of working together they sabotage each other, addressing a problem was always a fucking taboo, and it’s like the Gods forbid humanity to solve those problems. When bad shit happens they panic and keep trying to find ways to say that it’s not their fault. I just don’t understand. Why did it always have to be someone’s fault? Then… then… the Lady groped me and I couldn't stand it anymore so I grabbed… grabbed whatever was within reach. I didn’t… I didn’t realize it’s a… a fireplace poker… but I stabbed her in the neck with it. So I ran away. But as I ran away… I realized… how easy it was to kill… How easy it is to kill. But… but killing is a sin, right? So I tried to look for another job, but I didn’t have the necessary skills or even… the education or the status for it… So all I have was and still now is killing…”

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  Iberia is stunned for a moment.

  “...Um. Surely the Gods are merciful. The very fact that you feel guilt is a sign that you, Child, is trying to get better. And Gods love a person who is trying to get better. …Is there any more that weighs on your soul?” Iberia says her words carefully.

  “.........I also…. also feel this… When I was really young… I… I have no other… Another choice. I was so hungry… I ate the corpse of my sister, or….. was it her corpse…? Did I kill her….? Growing up, there’s this same hunger I felt… feel. I kept trying to shut it out… but no matter what, no matter how much I ate, no matter how much food I have, I keep having this hunger, so… so… I dug recently buried corpses. I always waited around the cemetery to see who. Who..? Who… were being buried. To keep them fresh, you know? But then, I started going for… alive women. I’ve killed over fifty…? Around fifty women throughout the years. Women that are… are alone… lonely women that approached me… They all said the same thing… that I was beautiful… gorgeous… handsome. So I used those to get closer to them. Even now I still feel it, but this feels awful. I know it is sinful. I know that. I keep repeating to myself that I regretted it. I keep saying that. But it keeps happening again and again. But then I fell in love with a woman, she said that sinning is unavoidable. She said that, even after knowing all that I did… that she loved me. I felt… happy? But also fear. How could you accept someone like me? Once… once I knew that she was pregnant. I couldn’t handle it. This child deserved someone so much better than me… so I.. I ran away… Is there… Is there no place for my soul except hell? There is no way my soul would be saved. Not after I killed all those people…”

  Iberia is struggling to find the words. Her face is scrunching from thinking hard. A little while passes them by, though it feels like an eternity for Iberia.

  “...It is good that you recognize what weighs on your soul. …I Gods’ witness, hereby, forgive you of all those… sins… so long that you take steps to repent.” She rings the small bell hanging inside the confessional three times.

  Without saying anything, the man on the other side of the partition opens his side of the door and leaves. Iberia is sitting on her seat for a little while, she is bracing herself to go out until a priest opens her side of the door.

  “Oh? Are you not done? The penitent one has left.”

  “Oh… Um… Yeah… I was just… fixing my mitre h-hat, yeah. And! My hair!” says Iberia quickly.

  “Is that so? I quite need the room, if you would. I have someone who would like to repent into the light.”

  “Ah, y-yes. But of course.” She hastily goes out of the room, stumbling her staff in between the door.

  Targarina’s back is facing Iberia, he is looking up at the murals intently, seemingly paying no heed to his surroundings.

  “T-The… Well… The lines of people seem to have fewer people…” she tries to start a conversation with him.

  “Yes… fewer…” he says without giving her as much as a glance.

  Targarina points up.

  “W-What is it…?” Iberia looks up at the murals.

  “All those people… They are suffering…”

  “Y-Yes… they are.”

  “Yet the word ‘God’ is written over each of their heads.”

  “So it is… Because they are Gods… This mural depicts them when they were still mortal.”

  “If suffering is a or the prerequisite for godly qualities… Then are we all Gods?”

  “.....As a priestess, that is false and dangerous thinking.”

  “How about as a simple human?”

  “....I do not comprehend the question.”

  “I’m asking… What is the God Stone?”

  “It was and is the stone by which the Gods achieved their divinity.”

  “...Who is the first God?”

  “.....Suffering. God of Suffering.”

  “What? I thought the church’s own interpretation was Existence first–or was it Death?”

  “Yes… This is quite a new interpretation. There were two theories in the past on who was actually first, however, a new faction has introduced a new possibility. This matter is controversial and often debated within the church… So, we have put the discussion on hold.”

  “Theory? Faction? Possibility…? And the new God just this week? Did you guys know who?”

  “I have no idea. I have yet to receive news from the capital.”

  “Hm. How the church even finds out who is who still baffles me, let alone know when a God is born.”

  “If… If you would still believe in the Gods, Targarina, would you like to find out more?”

  “.....Can I find out more? You people can’t even agree with each other. Which one is the truth? Who do you think was the first God to be born?”

  “I… I was taught that it was Existence first.”

  “Yes. You were taught. Now, who do you think was the first God to be born? You are the priestess here, surely you have read all the holy books to form a conclusion, huh?” Targarina is still not looking at Iberia.

  “Uh… I… I t-think… It was Suffering first.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Since it is said that the Gods were once mortals, I think the first experience that a mortal would have was suffering. Suffering from hunger, suffering from the weather, suffering from a lack of purpose… so on and so forth.”

  “So a mortal would wish for suffering to end?”

  “Yes… I believe so.”

  “And then he became the very embodiment of what he wishes to be gone, huh? What about the people that think Existence was first? Do you know their reasoning?”

  “Well, to put it simply, there cannot be anything without existence first.”

  “Huh… And the people that believe Death was first?”

  “They believe it to be so because it is implied in the third holy book that humans in the past were immortal. One human sought to seek the meaning of life, and to put matters shortly, he found death. …Anyway, who do you believe to be the first God?” Iberia asks Targarina.

  “.....Suffering, Existence, Desire, then Envy, and then Death. After Death, I couldn’t care less about the order.”

  “I… I see.”

  “Hey, you two… The lines of people seem to have lessened greatly.” Tarie comes up to them.

  “Oh… Tarie…” Iberia is showing an expression of relief.

  “Huh? What is it?” Tarie sweetly asks her.

  “O-Oh nothing… Let us go now.”

  ***

  “Are you sure we should stay here? This inn seems rather… expensive for our current budget.” Areti looks around the massive hall they are in.

  “Nobles saving money…? Never thought I’d see the day!” Laquidra laughs.

  “I’d say the money concern is valid, this place seems a little too high-profile, Lord Lionnel. Are you sure this is safe?” Annurath crosses his arms and leans his back against one of the pillars in the hall.

  “....Yes, it is quite expensive. Regardless… This is the only inn that accepts reservations and has empty rooms. All the other inns are rather full and have no rooms available or filled with… unsavory sorts.”

  “So you’ve tried all the other inns before?” Annuraths asks Lionnel.

  “No. I simply have been informed on which is which.”

  “If you say so.”

  The group is standing in a large hall of a massive inn. Despite its size, there are only a few people other than the group in it. Areti is looking at a statue made of marble depicting the Goddess of Envy when one of the few people present approaches her.

  “I’ll be! And I’ll be…! Is this perhaps lady Areti of House Liontari?” the man asks Areti, his eyes wide in astonishment.

  “Huh? And who might you be?” Areti holds the handle of her double-edged glaive strapped on the back of her waist, raising her guard up.

  “Oh! I did not mean to alert you! Don’t you remember me? I was to be your suitor in the past… Alean Sunetra.”

  “Alean Sunetra…? Ah… Yes… I do vaguely remember you.” She lowers her guard down.

  “V-Vaguely…? Haha… I can understand… There were many suitors after all…”

  “Yes, there were.”

  A quiet moment passes between the two. One seems a little awkward and one seems indifferent.

  “S-So, m-may I ask you… what are you doing here, lady Areti?” The man swipes a little sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand while keeping it closed tightly.

  “...Oh, I was just simply admiring the statue here.”

  “O-Oh, yes… That seems to be quite the case… B-But… What I mean to say is… what are you doing in Airan?”

  “...Vacation, I suppose.”

  “Are you seeing this, Annurath?” Laquidra smirks while looking at the interaction between the man and Areti, nudging Annurath for a response.

  “What of it?” Annurath, still leaning his back against one of the pillars, shows no interest at all.

  “The man is sweating like a bitch!” says Laquidra, without any regard to how loud her voice is.

  “Good Gods, girl… leave the sweating wreck alone.” Annurath smiles a little. “Lord Annurath, do you know that man?”

  “Hm… He seems familiar,” says Lionnel while walking toward the large stairs.

  “Dang… The father doesn’t care. You’ve lost her, brother. I’d give it up.” Laquidra holds both of her hands on her hips and sways them to right and left, taunting the sweating man, despite him seemingly too nervous to notice other people.

  “...What are you doing?” Annurath gives Laquidra a questioning look.

  “W-Well how long are you going to stay?” Alean, the sweating man, asks Areti.

  “Not sure,” Areti curtly replies.

  “I-I.. I see… I-I am here with my family myself, to discuss an important business for the family.”

  “....Is that so?” replies Areti as she directs her gaze back to the Goddess of Envy.

  Seeing the bumbling man, Laquidra scratches her head.

  “Man, this is kinda painful to watch… I’mma head to the tavern side. Annurath, you comin’ with?” Laquidra walks away while holding the back of her head.

  “....Hold on.” Annurath grabs Laquidra’s shoulder, stopping her from walking away.

  “...What?”

  “Look at the man’s hands.”

  The sweating man, Alean Sunetra, is wearing a grey chiton. He keeps his hands closed together.

  “You don’t suppose a person who was to become a suitor to an influential aristocratic family would choose a cheap color for his garments? Disregarding the fact that it is a fine chiton, that would be an odd color, he would’ve put his past and future proposal at a disadvantage." Annurath looks intently at the man.

  “Huh? The hell you sayin’? Maybe the guy just feels like wearing that instead?”

  “This is a fancy inn. You don’t dare to appear here wearing cheap color unless you are a servant, and a servant does not wander around alone in a hall such as this.”

  Annurath lets go of his grip, and approaches Areti and the man.

  “Sorry to disturb your talk, but my lady needs to go now.” Annurath quickly gets between the two.

  Both Areti and Alean are surprised.

  “I wha– How dare! I do not condone your tone of speech!” Alean’s voice is suddenly confident.

  “You’ll have to. Her father, Lord Lionnel, is calling her. I believe it is an emergency.”

  “That does not give you the right to take such a tone with me!”

  “What? What tone? I’m simply choosing the efficient way of communication according to your status.” Annurath points at the man’s grey chiton.

  The man’s face turns from annoyed to anger, yet he is not saying anything.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Annurath grabs Areti by the arm and drags her away.

  “Wha.. What is happening?” Areti asks Annurath, concern can be heard in her voice.

  “...Do you not notice? I find it hard for a noblewoman like you to not notice,” says Annurath in a quiet voice.

  “Whatever do you mean?”

  “I also find it especially hard for Lord Lionnel to not notice.”

  “Damn, what got you all worked up?” Laquidra joins them.

  “Not now. Let’s get into a room.” Annurath lets go of his grip on Areti’s arm and goes up the stairs.

  The other two follow him quietly. Before they can reach the second floor, they see that Lionnel is standing near the stone railing on the indoor balcony watching over the three.

  “He was watching? Why didn’t he say anything?” Annurath mumbles to himself.

  The three approach the lone Lionnel. Annurath looks like he has got a complaint to say.

  “You were watching?” Annurath sternly says to Lionnel.

  “I was.” Lionnel matches Annurath’s tone of voice.

  “Then I find your lack of concern disturbing.”

  “You were there. I saw no reason to be concerned.”

  “Hmm… Unless this was your doing?” Annurath raises his chin at Lionnel.

  “Could be. What if it was?” Lionnel crosses his arms.

  “Then I believe you owe an explanation to your daughter.”

  “Father, what is this..?” Areti weakly asks her father.

  “I must say, I am a little disappointed at your vigilance, my dear. Someone who approached you as he did could have killed you,” Lionnel casually says.

  “You… You mean to say…?” Areti is in disbelief.

  “This was a test? You have time to be fucking around testing people?!” Laquidra scoffs.

  “It is to see the sellswords reliability and see your vigilance, Areti. Keep your eyes and ears open, never trust someone who tries to approach you. He even gave you a hint and you did not notice.”

  “You don’t trust us? I believe all of us have demonstrated our reliability today and yesterday, including your daughter.” Annurath leans on the stone railing.

  “In matters of combat, yes… but in assassination? Subterfuge? It seems only one of you is dependable.”

  “Pfft…! Whatever, noble man! So, was that one of your men or what?” Laquidra slaps her thigh.

  “Yes, he is one of my men. Not one of my daughter’s potential suitors though. While we are speaking of this… All of you have only met yesterday, correct?”

  “Yes,” Annurath says curtly, annoyed at what just happened.

  “Right, right,” Laquidra, without any serious intent, says.

  “Hah…. Why must you do this, Father? Also yes, I have only met them yesterday,” says Areti, tired at yet another one of her father’s tests.

  “Very well.”

  “What of it, Father?”

  “Oh, nothing. Now that this is settled… let us retire for the day.”

  “...What? What is settled?” Areti asks her Father, but she knows she will not get an answer so she walks away and leans on the stone railing.

  “Lord Lionnel, please forgive my act just now. I found it offensive to be talked down to by a mere sellsword.” The man that claimed to be Alean Sunetra appears before them.

  “Hm.. I always thought you were bad at reconnaissance. You cannot lie and act.” Lionnel chuckles.

  “I will receive such a comment as a praise, my Lord.” He bows slightly at Lionnel.

  “So.. Who are you?” Laquidra points her thumb at the man.

  “Quite rude, are you not? I am a humble knight in service to the esteemed House Liontari, Gniyonna Bons.” The man makes an exaggerated gesture of courtesy at Laquidra.

  “Ugh.. Great..” Laquidra rolls her eyes.

  “Though I must say… I am quite disheartened that young lady Areti did not recognize me.” Gniyonna holds his chin wondering to himself.

  “Maybe ‘cause you are just one of her damn peons.” Laquidra smirks, mocking the man.

  “Ah, but of course! For that is my purpose! I thank you for reminding me. You are perhaps better than I thought you were.”

  “......What?” Laquidra raises one of her eyebrows.

  “Then? Will this man join us?” Annurath brushes his shoulders with a flick of his fingers, looking at the man from head to toe.

  “No, he shall not. Make sure the inn is safe, Gniyonna,” says Lionnel as he dismisses the man with a gesture of his hand.

  “As you wish, my Lord.” Gniyonna bows his head at Lionnel.

  “...And Areti, my dear. We need to talk.”

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