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Chapter 57 | Buzzed

  ISMUND

  I pushed myself up from the ground. My head was pounding for some reason too. Everything around me was dark. Dark.

  Oh yeah, Absinth Spirytus Rektyfikowany Hardcore. Him. I hate him.

  I blinked a few times. The word felt like it was sideways. I was sideways. I pushed myself up.

  Will I be able to fight again? I need to see to do that.

  …

  Of course I will. The best swordsmen can’t see.

  I lifted my hands up—

  I fell down.

  Why’d I fall down?

  My hands were supporting me before. Right.

  But am I really supporting myself? I’ve been going through the dungeons just fine but I wouldn’t have sausages without Drifa, I need the sausages. They’re tasty, Like mum used to make, Balder liked taking mine when I wasn’t looking - I let him do that though.

  My eyes were wet.

  Why would they be wet? If it freezes right after, what’s the point?

  I raised a hand a sloppily patted where my jaw was broken. It hurt. It was hard to move it, my hand, quite right.

  It’s not broken. Just bruised now. Good enough to eat some rocks or something probably.

  To test my idea I grabbed a sausage from my inventory and tried to open my mouth and eat the sausage but I just got grease on my face.

  My mouth can’t open with all the bandages.

  I reached up to the top of my head and felt around for the knot on the bandages. I tried to untie it a few times but my fingers still wouldn’t move like I wanted them to do, they were heavy like-

  Why’d she tie such a tight knot?

  I let out a huff of air and crossed my arms.

  I’ll just use my sword.

  I let it appear in my hand.

  The tent. Can’t cut the tent by accident.

  I looked around but I still couldn’t see anything. Dropping the sword, I crawled out of the tent, where it should be anyways, and went to pack it up.

  I let my arm swing through the air, looking for the tent, there wasn’t anything there.

  I put it in my inventory already, right?

  I shrugged and looked around myself.

  Still can’t see anything. I’m completely blind now aren’t I.

  [Negative. The room is dark.]

  Oh. Okay.

  Why’s my head hurt?

  [Absinth’s ability has given you a BAC of 0.12.]

  Oh.

  I had never been a guy to drink. I liked tea. I had more control over myself with tea.

  What do I do now though. I can’t just stop drinking or some—oh the hangover for this is going to be horrible. Horrible.

  Do I see myself fighting like this?

  I probably could.

  I will, It’s okay if I’m a bit off balance. If I hit Abs by accident, who cares? Well, Drifa might get stressed out and mess up the whole operation.

  I summoned my other sword.

  Where’d the other one go?

  I didn’t know.

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  I big hand reached out from the dark and grabbed my shoulder.

  “Is tha' you lad?” someone said.

  Abs?

  I gave a thumbs up.

  But how would he see that anyway?

  “Seems like it.”

  His hand let go then came crashing into my back a second later, making me land on the floor, hitting my chin hard.

  I can feel my… chin again. That’s good.

  “Welcome to my side! Heh… bet you didn’t see this coming ever, eh?” He burped rather loudly.

  “So how do you think you’ll do on the battle field like this?”

  I would say something, but… I couldn’t.

  Stupid bandages.

  Instead, I rubbed my chin and stood up. My right hand was empty.

  I lost the other one too.

  I stood up and tugged down on Absinth’s moustache and then slapped him in the face.

  “Hey!”

  I’d wanted to do that for so long. I let go and walked away only to lose my footing on some of the junk left from the fire last night.

  Good thing I didn’t fall.

  I stood up from the ground and kept walking until I found the ropes around ‘The Ring’ and slipped under them somewhat half-haphazardly.

  Wait what am I doing over here?

  I turned to step back towards where I guessed Abs was but stopped.

  Why would I go back there with that guy? I don’t want to.

  [There is the contract in place—]

  I know that. I can stay here without breaking the contract though.

  [Affirmative. Howe—]

  Shaddap.

  I sat there on the ground for a while, fiddling with a straw I’d found on the ground, with my thoughts bouncing this way and that, some made more sense than others. At least, I did that until I heard something other than Abs talking to himself or trying to talk to me.

  “Can we get some light again?” Drifa said after yawning.

  “Oi, Bright Boy, over here! Or are you lost?”

  Why should I go over?

  I found a plastic drink lid next to me started fiddling with that, the straw had broken a while ago.

  Even though none of us could see, Drifa made her way over.

  Not fair.

  I knew that she’d found me when she accidentally kicked my arm.

  “Oh sorry! There you are. Are you alright?”

  I grunted. I could still do that at least, not like my vocal chords were broken.

  “Well I guess it’s not like I can hear you anyways… nevermind. Um, would you make a fire for us?”

  I don’t want to give Abs fire. Why would we have it anyway? We’re not making food. Are we?

  Drifa found my wrist after a second, then my hand then held it in two of hers.

  “Could you come up and make the fire, please? It would let us talk at the very least. Because there’s a boss next, right?”

  She tugged me up.

  The boss. The boss. Yeah, I’m going to kill it.

  I stood up.

  Drifa seemed to let out a breath and relaxed a bit.

  Is she afraid of the dark? She does seem like the kind of person to be afraid of the dark. I guess I can make a fire even if it’s just that.

  I remembered Abs and smiled best I could with the bandages squishing my face.

  And this is something he can’t do I guess, otherwise He’d make the fire.

  I took a pile of toothpicks from my inventory and made a fire with them after a few seconds. Once it was lit up, everything came back into stark— no it didn’t.

  Right, my… um, eyes.

  I was still able to find Abs’ big form, so I made a smug grin in his direction.

  For some reason… Abs started laughing.

  Why would he do that?

  “Boy O, if you knew how stupid you looked right now you’d run for the hills!” He just laughed more at my confusion.

  Drifa didn’t say anything on the subject.

  “Uh, Ismund, you’re swords are on the ground over here, do you want them?”

  I nodded my head.

  She’s nice sometimes, other times…

  I was interrupted when I was given my swords again. I put one away. And tried to use the other one to get the bandages.

  “Wait, stop!”

  What?

  “You’re gonna cut your ear off!”

  I guess it was kind of close to my ear.

  She grunted, “Here.” A few seconds later I heard a snip sound once or twice and the bandages were gone.

  I tried to say ‘thanks’ but it came out wrong.

  Nerves in my tongue could still use some time I guess.

  “Don’t talk yet! Well I guess you could, but that’s besides the point. I’m going to re-apply the bandages in a bit.”

  “Good, good,” Abs said, “Wouldn’t want to see him looking a little bit less stupid for too long!” He hummed happily to himself once he was done talking.

  Why would he say that?

  I tried to voice as much. Again, not quite right.

  “It’s probably because of your… hair.”

  "Wa’ aboud m- hair?” I tried to say.

  I turned a little red, I was sure. This was all very… frustrating.

  “The acid kind of uh, got rid of some of it. It’s… patchy.” I could tell that she was trying to say it nicely. It made it worse in some ways.

  I gestured to her scissors.

  “You sure?”

  I nodded.

  Rather not look stupid for no reason.

  Drifa walked up and sat behind me and started cutting my hair. Since the missing chunks must’ve been Pretty missing, she cut it as close as she could to my scalp.

  It’s snowing hair.

  Once she was done I brushed the hair off of myself. There was a lot to be sure.

  My mouth quirked down.

  It’ll be back soon enough.

  “Alright. I gave you the best buzz cut I could give you with scissors.” It sounded like she opened and closed the scissors a few times.

  She sat down and we all sat still for a while with the only sound and movement being the fire swaying back and forth.

  I smiled.

  I like the quiet.

  “Oh yeah! guys, guess what?” Drifa said. She sounded like she would be smiling.

  Neither of us said anything for a bit, but she didn’t know. So she and Abs spoke at the same time.

  “What-”

  “-I can do more magic stuff now! I asked the System for a hint on the boss, it said we needed to make it into a certain shape or something, it wouldn’t give me everything, but now I can move a snowball after I throw it and make a snowball without my hands!” She was practically buzzing with excitement.

  Good for her. She won’t be so lame if there’s a snowball fight I guess. Maybe. Depending on how many people there are she could still be kind of screwed.

  I gave her a thumbs up with a small smile.

  “Hold on, lemme show you…” She sat there for a while. I couldn’t see anything change, but Absinth made some ‘oohing’ and ‘awing’ noises.

  Phap.

  I did find it once there was a snowball in my face.

  “Sorry! I was doing this and then Abs… well-” Drifa said a little frantically.

  Why would she be nervous?

  Abs on the other hand just laughed, “Perfect! I got him right in the face. Make another. Make another!”

  “Uhm… I don’t know about…”

  Phap.

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