Evan’s POV

  The moment Aisha screamed that it was a nationwide emergency, the entire coliseum went into panic mode. People bolted in every direction like headless chickens.

  I turned to Aisha—she was frozen, eyes wide in terror as she stared up at the Moonlord. Yeah, not good. For safety, I quickly formed a mana ball, slapped Pain Immunity onto it, and slammed it right into her.

  Her fear vanished in an instant, replaced with stunned disbelief. "So this is how you can still crack jokes in situations like this..."

  I grinned. "What can I say? Pain-Immunity-senpai is the GOAT."

  I glanced toward our booth and saw my family staring at me, visibly panicked.

  What the hell are you guys still doing up there!? MOVE!

  "GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! I’LL BE FINE!" I shouted at Luna and the others. For a second, they didn’t budge—but finally, Lucy and Oswald grabbed Hope and Faith and joined the stampede of pedestrians.

  Luna hesitated. She looked back at the others, then at me. That hesitation made my blood boil.

  "Luna! I swear I’ll be fine!" I yelled again.

  She finally shook her head in frustration.

  "You better come back!" she shouted, before turning and running after the others.

  I gave her a thumbs up. "Of cour—"

  "WATCH OUT!"

  I didn’t even get to finish before Aisha tackled me out of the way. A split second later, the spot we were standing on was completely obliterated by the Moonlord’s massive hand.

  "HEY! At least let the others leave first!" I shouted toward the cosmic horror above, not that it mattered.

  The other me, casually perched on the Moonlord’s shoulder like some deranged parrot, let out a furious scream "I WILL NOT BE CALLED GAY AND JUST TAKE IT!"

  Yeah... that tracks.

  Then the Moonlord raised its other hand, revealing a grotesque, white-greenish eye embedded in its palm. The eye pulsed—and suddenly, a swarm of giant floating eyes burst forth like someone stepped on a cursed beehive.

  They hovered for just a second... then dive-bombed straight at me.

  I whipped out my grappling hook, swung hard to the side to dodge a few, then activated Shield Charge to dodge the rest.

  "Aisha! We need to kill my evil self!" I shouted as I spotted glowing magic circles forming around her hands.

  "Huh!? Are you serious? What if that kills you too?!"

  "What, you’d rather fight the Moonlord!?"

  She frowned as she looked towards the Moon lord.

  There was no universe where we could beat the Moonlord in a straight-up fight. The guy had close to 400K health. At our best, we maybe pushed 100, 200 DPS on a good day.

  Doing the math? If the Moonlord were a stationary wall we’d still need literal days to bring him down.

  Right now, we didn’t even have minutes!

  I was definitely worried about what would happen to my real body if we killed evil-me... but I didn’t have the luxury of overthinking it.

  The Moonlord raised the same hand he had previously slammed into the arena. Its massive palm unfolded—revealing an eye. And not just any eye. This one was bloodshot, twitchy, and very interested in Aisha.

  "Shit!" I hissed.

  Without thinking, I flung my grappling hook toward her, yanked her out of harm's way—and straight into my arms. Princess carry style. She blinked up at me, clearly not expecting that.

  "Oh~ My Prince~!" she yelled, one hand on her head acting like an eloping princess.

  "No time for romance!" I shouted back.

  She quickly recovered and cast her spell, bathing us both in a shimmering aura—Haste activated.

  The buff kicked in instantly, and suddenly, we were moving like turbo-charged ninjas. I bolted us to safety just as the massive eyeball fired off a volley of glowing death-orbs. They missed us, thankfully—but the coliseum behind us wasn’t so lucky. The energy blasts carved through the walls like they were made of butter.

  "We need a plan and we need it fast!" Aisha shouted, eyes locked on the rapidly disintegrating stadium wall.

  "Simple!" I replied. "We yank evil-me off the Moonlord’s shoulder and take him out!"

  She stared at me like I’d grown a second head. "That is a terrifying sentence to hear from someone about themselves. Are you sure that won’t kill you too?!"

  I shrugged mid-sprint. "No clue! But hey, if we don’t try—we both die anyway!"

  “Okay, But I won’t forgive you for making me a widow!”

  “Why are we still roleplaying Mom and dad!?”

  “I haven’t played DnD for over a month! I’m desperate for roleplaying!”

  Right after I said it, I grabbed Aisha and threw her to the side like a dodgeball, then grappled backwards to avoid a barrage of giant flying eyeballs. The floor left behind exploded into rubble and ash.

  "Oh, you're gonna get it now, me!" I shouted, making sure Aisha was safe before locking eyes with my evil doppelg?nger, who was still lounging smugly on the Moonlord’s shoulder like he owned the place.

  "Who's gay now, Evan?!" He shouted

  "Still you, dumbass." I pulled out both shotguns and let 'em rip.

  The Evil Me threw up some kind of glowing blue magic shield—translucent and smug, just like him. The bullets bounced off harmlessly, and I clicked my tongue in frustration.

  “I’m You dumbass! If I’m Gay, So shall be you!”

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  “No thanks, In case you didn’t notice I have a wife and two kids unlik-”

  Didn’t even have time to insult him properly before the Moonlord joined the party again. One massive hand came down like a meteor, while the other blasted out waves of glowing magic orbs straight at me.

  Thank the gods for Aisha’s Haste spell—I was zipping around like I was hopped up on caffeine and lightning. Even so, I had to whip out my grappling hook and throw in a few shield charges just to avoid getting squashed like a bug.

  I stole a glance at Aisha—she met my eyes and gave me a small nod.

  It was all the confirmation I needed.

  3rd Person POV

  In that brief second, both Evan and Aisha were silently worried.

  Evan wondered if Aisha would be able to keep dodging, to survive the chaos.

  Aisha worried whether Evan would even exist after he took down the other version of himself.

  But when they locked eyes and nodded, those worries vanished.

  It was a simple, unspoken promise: I’ll be fine. You will too. Let’s end this.

  Aisha raised her hand, and from the earth, a slender stone pillar erupted in front of Evan like a spring-loaded launchpad. Without hesitation, Evan flung his grappling hook toward it and yanked himself upward, riding the pillar’s momentum.

  The Moonlord, unimpressed, slapped the pole aside like it was a twig. It shattered instantly—stone chunks raining down like debris.

  But Evan didn’t need the whole pole.

  He just needed the launch.

  Mid-air, he redirected his grapple and shot it straight into the Moonlord’s body. The hook latched on, pulling him closer. At first, he tried to activate his skill to yank the Moonlord down to him.

  But it didn’t affect him at all but it did Launch Evan towards the moon lord.

  At the same time Evan was scaling the Moonlord like a madman, Aisha unleashed a barrage of fireballs, launching them toward the hulking monstrosity in an attempt to pull aggro.

  "You know," she mumbled to herself, eyes tracking the Moonlord’s reaction as Evan climbed, "I keep thinking… the Moonlord’s one of the only two bosses that don’t spawn instantly when you use their summoning item."

  In response, the Moonlord hurled a volley of massive eyeballs straight at her.

  Without missing a beat, Aisha coated the ground in ice beneath her feet and slid out of danger with graceful, high-speed precision—like a figure skater in a warzone.

  "So why did this guy spawn right after Evil Evan used the tablet?" she continued, dodging between collapsing debris and flaming rubble. "It’s almost like… this isn’t the real boss. Huh. I wonder—"

  While she puzzled it out, Evan had made it to the Moonlord’s shoulder. Without a second thought, he launched a Shield Charge straight into Evil Evan, slamming into him like a human missile.

  It connected—clean hit.

  Evil Evan was knocked loose… but not for long. Mid-fall, he whipped out a grappling hook of his own and latched right back onto the Moonlord’s body like some deranged anime villain.

  "Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me," Evan groaned, watching from midair as Evil Evan dangled smugly above him.

  "I shall redeem my honor and avenge my name… from being called gay!" Evil Evan declared with dramatic flair.

  Right then—like the universe itself was done with this nonsense—the Moonlord’s third eye, the one nestled in the middle of its forehead, snapped open.

  The moment it did, both Evan and Aisha froze.

  The eye locked onto Evan.

  "Evan! GET OUT OF THERE!" she screamed, panic creeping into her voice as she summoned a shield between Evan and the monster's gaze.

  But it was too late.

  A devastating laser beam exploded out of the eye, firing straight at Evan. He instinctively tried to Shield Charge out of the way, Bracing himself with the shield at the very last moment as a last resort.

  Didn’t matter.

  The beam plowed through Aisha’s summoned shield like it was paper, and scraped by Evan.

  -356

  Evan fell down to the ground. His shoulder charred black But the laser didn’t stop—it continued carving through the arena like it was butter, dragging a burning scar into the very earth itself… until it finally arced up into the sky, splitting clouds apart in its wake.

  "Don’t worry! I’m fine!" Evan shouted back, already chugging both a mana potion and a health potion like it was a casual energy drink combo.

  Thanks to his Block skill—which redirected incoming damage to his mana pool before touching his health and cut the total damage by 50%—he’d somehow lived through that laser-from-hell with just half his HP gone.

  Aisha let out a shaky sigh of relief as Evan landed in front of her.

  "Alright, I’ll admit it... that sucked," Evan muttered. "At this rate, we can’t even reach the guy—forget trying to kill him."

  “…You know,” Aisha began, eyes fixed on the towering Moonlord, who loomed over them like they were insects. “I’ve been thinking. I don’t think the Moonlord is real.”

  Evan raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

  Without saying anything else, Aisha fired a magic bolt at one of the Moonlord’s open palm-eyes. It struck dead on... and did absolutely nothing.

  "See?" she said, pointing as the spell fizzled.

  Evan narrowed his eyes.

  Even in games, no matter how absurdly tanky something was, you always took at least 1 damage if a spell connected. One damage—minimum. Zero damage meant one thing.

  "It’s a summon..." Evan muttered, his gaze shifting from the Moonlord to his smug evil clone still riding shotgun on its shoulder.

  Summons were special entities conjured by summoners. They weren’t just minions—they were extensions of the caster’s will. If the summoner died, the summon vanished with them.

  “If it is a summon,” Aisha continued, “I think I can end this fight early... but I’ll need to touch the Moonlord.”

  Evan raised an eyebrow. “Huh. Didn’t know he was your type.”

  Aisha gave him a deadpan look

  "Okay, okay—sorry. You’re right. No time for jokes."

  The Moonlord opened both palms, revealing giant twitching eyes that immediately locked onto Evan and Aisha. Without hesitation, it began unloading everything it had—giant eyeballs, mana blasts, chaotic beams—if it could be fired, it was fired.

  "That’s a lot of eye contact!" Evan shouted.

  Without missing a beat, he scooped Aisha into another princess carry as she cast a spell beneath them. A thick earthen pole erupted from the ground under Evan’s feet, launching the two skyward like a magical catapult.

  Aisha clung tightly to Evan, freeing up his arms. With one hand, he activated Shield Charge to rocket forward—closing the distance just enough for his grappling hook to latch onto the Moonlord’s chest, aiming straight for the glowing heart beneath its ribcage.

  From his perch on the Moonlord’s shoulder, Evil Evan screamed down at them:

  "Face it, Evan! I’m the better version! You’re the one who’s gay!"

  Evan smirked mid-flight. "You’re really gonna say that while I’m holding a girl in my arms?"

  "Stop calling me a girl!" Aisha yelled, "I’m a maiden!"

  Then, with one hand still braced against Evan’s chest, she reached out and slammed her palm against the Moonlord’s heart.

  "Summon Cancel!" Aisha Screamed.

  The moment the words left her mouth, the Moonlord flinched—then exploded into a cloud of smoke, vanishing from existence like a deleted file.

  “…”

  All three of them—Evan, Aisha, and Evil Evan—stared at each other mid-air for a solid second of silence.

  Then gravity said hello.

  "AHHHHHHH!" they all screamed as they plummeted back to earth.

  Thinking fast, Evan summoned a Mana Ball, morphing it into a pair of massive wings. With a snap, they expanded, catching the wind and slowing their descent just in time.

  Aisha, still holding on to him like a life-depending backpack, was fine too.

  Evil Evan, however…

  Splat.

  -111

  Evan POV

  "You can just cancel other people’s summons like that?" I asked, still processing what had just happened.

  "Yep," Aisha said casually. "Learned it a while ago."

  "...Okay, that sounds like a trash-tier spell, and I’d make fun of you for it—if it hadn’t just saved our lives." I shot her a look.

  She grinned and flashed me a peace sign.

  "I have to ask though," I continued, "why’d you even learn something that specific in the first place?"

  A mischievous glint sparked in her eyes. "Well, I can’t just let the handful of summoners in this world have fun, now can I?"

  "Of course that’s the reason you picked it..."

  As we gently glided down from the sky, I caught sight of something below—my real body, face-planting into the pavement like a bug under a boot.

  Wham.

  Shockingly, no blood. No gore. Just a faint glow—and then, just like the Moonlord, my body dissolved into dust and vanished.

  "Ugh… I’m pretty sure my lifespan just got cut in half," Aisha groaned, still clinging to me to avoid a very painful landing.

  We touched down safely, feet finally hitting solid ground. We took a moment—first to breathe, then to look around.

  The coliseum?

  Gone. Obliterated. Reduced to a smoldering mess of cracked stone and molten ground. Craters were everywhere, There still standing walls, with ginat holes in it, like the aftermath of an airstrike. And in the center of it all was the gaping, smoking ravine carved by the Moonlord’s final laser blast.

  "...Aisha?" I muttered.

  "Yeah?"

  "...We don’t have to pay for the damages, right?"

  She looked around slowly, eyes scanning the wreckage. Then, with the most innocent expression she could fake, she asked:

  "So Evan… we’re husband and wife now, right?"

  "Not paying the damn alimony," I muttered.