This man was completely calculative! He was a willing explorer of his senses. He had the strong will to make it through the trials and tribulations caused by his reckless hedonistic pursuits. This man was a product of the country that he lived in. The product of the emperor.

  I'll start from the beginning.

  His name was Timothy Williams and he was 19 years old. On the surface, he appeared as someone so ordinary that you'd probably not notice him at all. He had hardly any presence nor personality. He had no friends.

  Initially, he never let those things affect him mentally. He had two excellent things — his good looks and a good job. But they weren’t enough.

  Even though Timothy had no friends he had long accepted this. He would turn to the enjoyment of his long list of hobbies to keep him entertained and to keep him in a fairly good mood. Entertainment couldn’t forever hold back his true heart’s longing.

  Timothy had been working hard at his job and had been waiting for his promotion. He worked the most boring job in the world in finance. He enjoyed the structure and comfort of having a job to go to and so he put up with the creative dulling routine. The more he worked, the more fixated he became and soon his paychecks were a delight for him to look forward to.

  One day, Timothy was called by his boss which made his heart race in the hopes that she had finally acknowledged his hard work. His face turned from happy to confused after another coworkers' name was called out a few seconds later.

  Still he rushed to her office like a lovesick puppy.

  The other colleague went there also so now they were waiting for an answer.

  "Congratulations. You're very good for this company I can tell. I can tell it from my gut." She spoke

  "T-Thank you so much, Fallon!" Timothy spoke happily

  "Actually.." she started to say, making his heart drop in disbelief

  "I wasn't talking about you." She continued

  "That’s unfair, you b—" Timothy blurted out in anger and yet he closed his mouth in shock but it was far too late

  The other guy was grinning but didn't say anything. He ended up getting the raise instead. Alex left the office.

  Now they were all alone.

  "Ah, so now you decided to grow a pair? What have I told you about your impulsiveness?” She spoke sternly

  “I am so sorry. It just came out. I had a really bad day.” Timothy lied

  He held his breath, hoping to come across as sane so that he wouldn’t get fired.

  “Take a picture, why don’t you?” She chuckled

  “Can I please get back to work?” He spoke, staring at the floor

  Timothy slowly began to walk out of the door until she stopped him.

  "WAIT." She yelled out

  Timothy froze in his tracks with anticipation.

  Now they were all alone.

  "Let’s get serious. Please take a seat." She said to him and he sat down

  Timothy sat down and waited for any instructions.

  "Can you guess what I despise most in the whole world?" She asked him

  "Uh..my attitude?" He guessed, chuckling

  "That’s funny. You have the attitude of a little worm."

  He chuckled nervously in response.

  "Look. How long have we known each other? You’re ok with me aren’t you? I am interested in you.”

  “A-As an employee?” He asked her, his eyes widening in disbelief

  “Remember we knew each other before that.” She smiled

  Her look felt warm and inviting, different to her usual persona.

  “Oh, oh of course! But I never once imagined that someone like me could be with someone like you.” He spoke earnestly

  “Let’s talk after work.” She spoke, switching to her normal tone

  "You’re serious? Very well then." He replied

  "Is that a yes or a no?" She asked him

  "It's a yes. A definite yes. Oh yes." He smiled brightly with glee

  "Good. I am glad that we’re on the same page." She spoke a bit too enthusiastically and seriously

  They scheduled and went on their date which went well. It went a little too well and things progressed quickly. After some time and several meet-ups later, Timothy made the move to invite her over.

  As soon as he opened his front door, she kicked off her shoes at his request.

  As soon as they sat down and got comfortable, she reached out first. He felt the gentle caresses of her fingertips. He pulled her in closer and soon it felt like all they cared about was each other. His natural eagerness and touches sent her mind spinning with fantasies.

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  Her lips slightly puckered as if she desired to be kissed but his index finger replaced the lips she had briefly hoped for.

  “Please wait, Fallon.” He spoke softly

  "What? Is there something on my face?" She asked him, wondering if he was hesitating for a reason

  Their eyes met once more, this time giving into natural passions.

  “Just one look at you..makes me—.” He sighed longingly

  Before he could even finish his sentence, she had already kissed him so passionately, her hands exploring the back of his neck as they kissed. He returned her affections in fullness. When their lips parted, his chest was heaving slightly trying to get more air as he was so excited and in the moment that he had forgotten to breathe. She took a moment to gaze at him and give him a little smile. The breeze that was coming from the opened window brought a refreshing breeze to the room causing her wavy blonde hair to sway against it.

  He was following her willingly, waiting in anticipation for more. One of his dreams had come true and it was her loving him back and noticing him.

  However an underlying feeling of anxiety was felt by Timothy during his interactions with her. He hated to think that he would do something to ruin his good fortune. Compared to him, she was too fun, too adventurous. She knew the effect she had on him. She could effortlessly bring him down to his knees in devotion to her. Much of that anxious feeling was pushed away by Timothy but it was still present and therefore he was consciously aware about it. For a man who needed to have control over everything, giving it up temporarily wasn't such an easy task to him initially but as she continued to bring such ecstasy and tempting variety into his private life, he felt like a ray of light had warmed his cold lonely heart. He wished to feel as grateful as he could to her but in his mind, he could never be enough. Nor could he have just the right amount. To savour the peak of pleasure without facing the drop. There was something he was searching for, an experience that went beyond sex. Although he had explored plenty in that realm, he dreamed of an experience on another level.

  Many unforgettable nights followed as he was initiated in the varieties of sensual pleasures. Feathers, oils, glitter, and her embraces combined was more than enough to elevate him closer to euphoria. Other times, he would smile to himself, seeing traces of her lipstick all over his neck. He blushed deeply, feeling that he belonged to her and that she had claimed him.

  Attentive to his desires and her own, even spoiling him with it, he would be left longing for the next time they could be together like this. Even her light caressing was enough to make him shiver. She loved to observe him and figure out how to handle him. However, it was a mutual exchange and no one was in charge all the time. These were precious times for them to free themselves from the mundane and enter into a world of the sublime.

  She held back strategically whenever she felt that he had too much affection and he too, enjoyed this little game just as much as she did.

  To experience more pleasure, a little pain is required. Even hesitation which is the mildest form of pain could be used to one's advantage regarding that they have the moderation within themselves to endure.

  Exploration! My favourite word after the phrase, lex talionis.

  Ever felt numb from pleasure? When it feels so good it starts to hurt? Ever wondered if there was a way to feel as much pleasure as possible and process it all? I call it Optimal Pleasure. It involves becoming affected by stimuli causing you to become more aware of the body and its condition. A stimuli which awakens you, connecting the body, soul and the mind. It works similar to being blindfolded and embraced by a lover. The blindfold is a stimuli which temporarily removes the sight and so, the body is awakened more than ever, so focused on survival that endorphins surge within you and your other senses flourish as they are heightened! This is a wonderful experience isn't it? Imagine a more sensual experience. One that will blow your mind!

  You know that advertisement about 'X'?

  I was actually the voice actor for that commercial! I was involved in the ideas and the initial test runs too! I am not bragging about this nor am I trying to promote this product now. It is small enough to fit in your pockets but its impact is huge. X is extremely dangerous and I was ignorant a decade ago. It was my idea but the people twisted it and changed it into something ugly. Something wicked. They use it like a drug or a toy and don't actually care about learning from the experience. I hate them all. Those X users.

  Timothy was a man who was addicted to feelings.

  He latched himself onto pleasure like a moth to a flame and even the pleasure received from Fallon wasn't enough to deter him from the journey he decided to take. Echoed across alleyways and corners were promises of a life altering formula designed to help you safely adventure through, surpassing the limits of mundane pleasures. To Timothy’s eager mind, he didn’t even stop to think that it was too good to be true or that the drug (X) didn’t stop at altering rigid mindsets.

  And so he underwent the most sensual journey that could be taken. I call it 'EXPLORATION'!

  OPEN YOUR EYES!

  MY MEANING IS EXPLORATION!

  A chain of events occurred.

  She came over to his house again and this time, they would push the limits with their activities.

  “This knife—” Fallon spoke

  Feeling the cold metal lightly pressed against his chest that rose and fell.

  The knife was soon replaced with light traces on his chest with her lips as a wave of pleasure came over his body. As she alternated from soft to sharp, pleasure and anticipation, she forbade him from finding relief. He fell for her more than he ever imagined possible.

  “There are even more realms to discover. The possibilities that technology allows us.” He spoke, unsure how he even found the words to say

  Fallon stared at him, confused but she brushed it off.

  This time, she pressed the knife a little too hard against his skin.

  “Oh no! Believe me it was just an accident.” She gasped

  Her footsteps wavered slightly as she took a few steps back

  "Wait! I am not upset with you." He called out to her when she'd started to leave

  "Y-You aren't?" She asked him

  His eyes widened and his chest was heaving.

  "D-Do that again. Please." He demanded, wanting to feel the thrill of his survival being tested again

  Another light scratch was placed on his shoulder.

  "I have an idea! Give me the knife." He gasped

  She rolled her eyes at him playfully but gave him the knife.

  He hesitated until he threw the knife in the air as it circled many times and he attempted to catch the knife.

  If it wasn't obvious enough already, the knife cut him.

  "Idiot. If I knew what you were gonna do, I would’ve never given you this dagger. Luckily it’s not that sharp." She huffed, taking the knife from his bloodied hand.

  "I'll bandage it and treat it myself. Don't worry about me." He spoke

  After that, the weird couple did some more thrill-seeking activities to their heart's content.

  But still, the novel drug called to him. He was brave in deciding to take it to further his exploration.

  I really do admire him for doing that.

  Why do I say this? Because Timothy is a young man that I know (obviously I have changed his name here to grant him anonymity).

  I didn't make X. I only promoted it therefore I don't know how it works.

  Anyway, the bored young man took X and his body was still and rested in his bed.

  One thing to note: If you've taken the drug and want to return to the real world, you must beat your chest at least once with your hand. That feeling will return you to this world.

  He opened his eyes to a wide white field. Everything was white here.

  "Where am I? Is this the drug's effect? I demand answers!" He spoke out

  But he was all alone.

  Or was he?

  Experiences are truly what matter the most in this world.

  The experienced know that everyone has a shadow side. Thoughts so dark and morbid that dwell in the subconscious unexplored in so many. Why does it remain so unexplored?

  These experiences become memories and fragments of these memories become thought or even belief.

  All of these put together become the unique self.

  You are a collection of your own thoughts, memories and experiences but these aren't fixed. They can change. Therefore, you can change too provided that you are fearless enough.

  There was a man who had been suffering. He wanted to feel something and feel alive again. His name was Timothy Williams.

  TO BE CONTINUED...