"Please Herman, my friend. My dear dear, wise, and powerful buddy. let's be reasonable beings here. Violence is definitely not the answer."

  "It is far to late for that Slippy! You have had your last laugh on my expense." The man said, his voice dark and menacing.

  "P…please… Mercy!" The slip begged.

  "There is no mercy. Only death!" Herman declared, finality in his voice.

  "Nnyaaaaaghhhh!!!" Slippy cried in anguish as he was struck down.

  And with that, the human tyrant finally took his revenge over the paper slip who has been a thorn in his side for far too long.

  "Will you two cut the drama out! You are acting as if you are in a cheap soap opera." Staple shouted from behind her computer station.

  "He took out my super duper evil command base." The paper slip lamented.

  "Don’t act like you are the victim here! If you hadn’t constantly been pillaging my kingdom’s northern borders, I wouldn’t have been forced to resort to such extreme measures.” The human shot back.

  "Ah borders shmorders.” The slip said dismissively. There are no barriers for the barbarians of the north." Slippy said with fanatical pride.

  "You stole my goat herds! All that was left for my citizens was synthetic cheese! I almost got dethroned by my own people because of you!"

  "You got what you deserved!" The human said with finality.

  "Now now children, don’t argue. There are plenty of goats for everyone." Emperor Topo interjected with a mocking tone and a smirk.

  "Oh don’t you think I haven’t noticed your backstage machinations, Emperor Topo! It is very curious how Slippy’s land, that backwater collection of tribes living in mud huts, suddenly got automatic repeater crossbows. In fact the same exact design that your empire seems to manufacture. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Herman ventured on, his words dripping with venom.

  "I don’t know what you are talking about." Emperor Topo said with unconcealed amusement. His bushy gray mustache seemingly mocking the human king.

  "Oh is that so… Well, in that case, enjoy the fruits of your labors."

  Snap!

  The human king dramatically snapped his fingers. In an instant, Chief Barbarian Slippy materialized on top of the human’s keyboard.

  "You summoned me master?" The slip said with deep obedient tone. Bowing down at his new overlord.

  "Ah, Darth Slippy. My most loyal of vassals! I have a task for you."

  "Name it, my lord."

  The human squinted his eyes at the surprised Topo. "Make his life miserable." The evil human king said with finality and a shark like grin.

  "It shall be done, my master." Darth Slippy responded with deep obedient tone. Vanishing into the darkness, then reappearing at his computer keyboard, from where frantic clicking and bashing of buttons could be overheard.

  "H..hey, you can't do that! My cabbages!" The bot shrieked with horror as the primitive barbarian hordes equipped with very much modern sci-fi power armor pillaged his precious cabbage farms.

  "Youuu!" Topo growled at King Herman. His mustache edged in a threatening manner.

  "Oh don’t worry, the dark kingdom of Herman will happily provide you with synthetic cabbages. If you have the coin for them that is." The human evilly smirked.

  "Hey Wife! Are you going to just stay there and watch as your beloved husband is being harassed?" Topo pleaded with Staple, who had remained suspiciously quiet during the whole drama.

  "You are on your own my dear husband. There is no mercy in war." The female mechanoid said with a cold emotionless tone. Fully absorbed in her computer screen.

  Gasp!

  "My capital, my capital is on fire! Foreign spies? What the hell are those!?" The mechanoid emperor shrieked in panic.

  "Those, my dear husband are the flames of revolution." Spy master Staple replied with a ominous voice. "While you have been occupied with provoking our resident Human, I have been busy shipping weapons and equipment to your oppressed citizens. I am afraid your reign of terror is at an end." The female bot concluded with a barely visible satisfied smirk.

  "Terror!? My population has been the happiest from all of yours combined!" Topo scoffed with indignation. While desperately tapping buttons on his keyboard and trying to salvage the rapidly deteriorating situation.

  "Not anymore they aren’t. Herman muttered under his nose."

  BOOOM!

  A huge mushroom cloud now loomed over the hexagonal space where the capital of the mustached emperor stood.

  "My capital!" Topo shrieked.

  "My spies!" Staple shouted.

  "My barbarians…" Slippy lamented.

  "Waghahah!" Herman cackled.

  And with a single stroke, the barbarian menace was eliminated from the face of the map, along with stifling the plans of the other factions.

  This in turn marked the beginning of the end for the mighty Topo Empire. The mechanoid fought violently on all fronts, desperately trying to preserve what little he could, but at the end it was all for not.

  Staple’s surviving spies had managed to steal the secrets of the atomic tech from Herman’s kingdom. The resulting conflict between the two warring factions turned the remains of Topo’s empire into radioactive wastes.

  Forced into exile, the former emperor retreated in shame to the far corners of the map, where he took refuge at the happy unicorn monastery. There he lived the remainder of his days by eating stale bread and watching the news broadcasts about the raging war between the two remaining powers in the world map:

  The Dark Kingdom of Herman, and the Elusive Hegemony of Staple. Their back and forward skirmishes led to nothing but death and misery for their war impoverished populations and lands.

  As the atomic conflict escalated, so did the radioactive wastelands grew ever bigger and bigger. The former irradiated lands of Topo’s empire seeming as a paradise compared to the latest poisoned and devastated landscapes.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  With the growth of the radioactive wastelands, so did the rumors of a mysterious force began to spread. Initially the rumors were dismissed as nothing more than fairy tales. But as the habitable land became sparser and sparser, the remaining few forces of both factions retreated to their respective capitals.

  There, they build immense steel fortresses capable of just barely sustaining their sickly and starving populations.

  At this time the radioactive wastelands, who now covered the entire planet, had been completely overran with the mysterious super mutants. Large greenish brutes wielding nothing more than crude bone axes. All led by their mysterious masked leader.

  Eventually, when the world was at a brink of oblivion, the two warring factions finally signed a ceasefire. And for the first time in a thousand years, bringing peace in the world.

  However the peace was a short lived one, as the mysterious super mutant leader chose that moment to strike!

  The mighty capital fortresses might have seemed impenetrable, but just as any other large structure of doom, they had one single vulnerable spot pre-built in them: The sewers.

  Sneaking through them, the mutated barbarian hordes managed to slaughter the population of both cities. Kidnapping their rulers and bringing them on their knees, tied up and helpless, into the chief barbarian’s mud hut.

  "SLIPPY!?" Both Herman and Staple exclaimed with shock.

  "That’s chief barbarian Slippy to you!" The paper slip snapped with a malicious glee.

  "I thought you were playing Minercraft!?" The dumbfounded human said.

  "He is playing Minercraft!" Staple snapped as she poked her head to see what the paper slip was doing on his own monitor.

  "Buahaha silly mortals. You all fell for my ruse!"

  Chief barbarian Slippy the mighty said, as he revealed that the monitor was presenting a mere playthrough recording. The cables coming out of his PC were directly connected into the paper slip’s back.

  “Oh, you devious bastard!” Staple said with a smile and clear respect in her voice.

  "Hehehe that is quite clever actually." Herman chuckled.

  And with that, Lord Super Duper Emperor of the world Chief Barbarian Slippy the Mighty, send the two remaining players into exile at the Happy Unicorn Monastery.

  There, the 3 defeated rulers spend the rest of their lives fighting over the meager stale bread rations, as well as commiserating over the lost world, who was now fully ruled by the super mutant hordes.

  ___

  "Well that was fun." Herman said. A cheerful smile plastered on his face. "I haven't played that game in more than a century. I had forgotten how dynamic and competitive it could get though." The man continued as he and the rest of the beings moved to sit around the small living room table.

  Topo and Staple’s apartment wasn't particularly big, but the human thought it cozy. On the top floor of the Inn, it also had a nice view of the neutral zone as well as the rest of the internet beyond. They couldn't yet afford much furniture or other conveniences, so the interior was a bit spartan, emphasized by their use of well used and crudely repaired tables and chairs taken from the inn below.

  Still the two mechanoids looked quite content with their current situation. Looking genuinely happy and even daring to hope for a better future.

  "I am glad you two accepted our invite." Topo said to the human and his digital slip companion. "Gaming against the same opponent over and over again was getting a bit complicated since we memorized each others’ strategies. Resulting in draws more often than not."

  "I wouldn't have missed this for anything!" Herman said. “Plus, getting another chance to play some of my childhood games was an offer I couldn't refuse. How did you even get your hands on all of this?" The human pointed at the shelf at the corner of the room, where various physical copies of ancient games proudly stood on display.

  "I took inspiration from your earlier story and materialized physical copies of our data archive." Staple said. "As to where we got all of this, that is more complicated story. They have all been physically scavenged from Earth’s forbiden zones while we were on raids for the army. We have risked our lives acquiring each and every game from this shelf." Staple said.

  "Yeah, interestingly enough those were the rare moments of fun we had during our past life." Topo commented. "For example, the game we played last. Me and Staple stumbled on it inside a nano worm lair. The biggest worm we have ever seen actually. It was taller than 2 story building. And mean as hell! But most importantly, the abomination had a whole nest full with games. It protected them like a jealous dragon. So long story short: I kept poking the dragon’s tail until it started chasing me. Then Staple sneaked to its nest and snatched the prize."

  "Sigh… I still wish I could have taken more than just a single game. I just didn't expect the nest to be full with the beast’s young. Vicious little critters. I had to practically snatch the game disc from the mouth of one of the baby worms." Staple lamented, visibly shivering at the recollection of the old memory.

  "Wait wait, they EAT games!?" Slippy questioned, his tiny digital eyebrows raised in disbelief.

  "Oh yes they do. They absorb the data and adapt designs and other mechanics of the game onto themselves. That is one of the reasons why it has been so difficult to get any sort of media from before the fall." Herman added with grief-stricken tone.

  For a while the young paper slip looked back and forward between the grownups saddened expressions. "Well in any case, I am glad you managed to rescue this one! It was fun being a barbarian chieftain (:" Slippy cheerfully added. Trying to lift up the gloomy mood.

  After the defeated world leaders congratulated and praised the paper slip for his clever tactics and hard-fought victory, the evening transitioned into sharing the various stories behind each game from the their hosts’ collection.

  Topo and Staple eagerly shared their adventures, as well as explaining how they had to repair and transfer each piece of loot onto a digital format.

  Turns out the process was much more involved than just snatching the loot and running away with it.

  It was often the case the physical data had been partially eaten or otherwise damaged. So, quite often they had to resort to combining multiple damaged copies of the same data in order to produce a single complete working product.

  And that was just the tip of the iceberg. More often than not, they had to fight with the feral nanoids for each scrap of old world media. Plus the added difficulty of being forced to conceal their activities from their former human masters.

  It was a fascinating story and the whole ordeal reminded Herman of Indiana Jomes and his archaeology adventures. Eventually though, the pleasant evening came to its conclusion, and Herman and Slippy prepared to depart the cozy apartment and their new friends.

  "Are you sure you have to go so soon?" Staple pleaded. "We can maybe play one last game of RocketTeam?" She suggested with a faint hope in her voice.

  "Come on, leave the poor souls alone. You will scare them off and then they will never come back. Come back for the resurrection of the Topo empire and its revenge that is." The mustached bot said with a feral grin.

  "Yeah, I am sure..." Herman said as he gave out a big tired yawn. "Even if I am digital now, my brain hasn't yet fully adapted to its new circumstances. So a goodnight rest sounds quite appealing right now. And Slippy here.” The man nodded towards his cupped hands where the snoring golden tinged paper slip laid. "I am pretty sure he is just a baby, so he needs just as much, if not more sleep to grow his programming up."

  "Ah well, I suppose you are right." Topo murmured beneath his mustache, warmly smiling at the sleeping youngling.

  "Here, take this as a parting gift." Staple passed the human a small bowl full with pears. "Just don’t show them to the other humans or you will have problems."

  Herman wasn’t quite sure why that was, considering all the food around here was freely available and exquisite in taste. His exhausted mind however refused to delve deeper into the issue, so he just gratefully accepted the gift.

  “Hey, do you want to join us for a quick DSG run at the morning? Just for a few minutes before our work shift starts? Topo offered.

  "Oh damn, you also have Deep Stone Galactic?" The human exclaimed with excitement. "Sigh… I am afraid I will have to pass. I promised Jimbo and his worker gang to join them at their camp fire in the morning. They wanted to show me around the place. Introduce me to the community and such."

  The two mechanoids exchanged worried looks. Hesitating if to say anything... Noticing their internal conflict, Herman urged them to speak.

  "Well… It isn't really our place to meddle in your affairs…" Topo hesitantly said. "Just be careful around those guys, okay?" The mustached bot said cryptically.

  Staple looked with concern back and forward between Topo and Herman. "Also don’t show Slippy to them. He is just a baby and doesn’t know how to properly protect himself yet." She eventually said.

  "I…" Herman started, perhaps do defend his new human acquaintances, but something in the look of the mechanoids made him stop. Instead, he nodded with a serious expression.

  And with that, the human and his paper charge retreated to their room. Herman locked the wooden door and positioned a chair against its handle. More by habit than any conscious thought.

  Then he carefully placed the sleeping AI on a small pillow atop the table, before collapsing onto the bed and its exquisite goose-feather mattress.

  Despite his exhaustion and excellent mattress, Herman’s mind was full of anticipation for the upcoming day and his introduction to the Queue community. Who knew what the future had in store for him.