Chapter 2:

  After the impact, Ryan's soul was transported to a black void. He stood in this strange place, disoriented and confused. Suddenly, the scenery shifted, and a massive blue screen materialized before him. Words appeared on the screen:

  :( Your body has run into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error information, and then we'll restart for you.

  42% Completed.

  He tried to understand where he was and what was happening. Then, it hit him: he was dead. He chuckled at the irony. A blue screen of death after that crash?

  Fifteen seconds passed, and the void went dark. Then, it transformed into a room. A screen appeared, displaying his lifeless body on the ground, a "No U-Turn" sign lying on top of him.

  He felt a touch on his shoulder. Behind him stood a 5'11" woman with long black hair accented with violet highlights. She looked to be in her mid-40s and wore a violet tank top and black skinny jeans, a glass of wine in her hand. The first thing that came to his mind was that she resembled Alanis Morissette.

  "Oh, that's fucked up!" she said, her gaze following his to the image of his lifeless body on the screen.

  "The 'No U-Turn' sign lying on top of me? Yeah, that's pretty fucked up and symbolic," he said, laughing.

  She looked at him and frowned. "No, dumbass, you threw your life away because of a bad day. That's what's fucked up here."

  "Wait, am I in hell?" he asked, looking down at his spirit form. He was still wearing his mangled Halo suit, covered in blood and dirt.

  She took a sip of wine and smiled mysteriously. "No, but we'll get to that."

  "I'm assuming you're God?" he said, sitting down and crossing his legs.

  "I am one of them, yes. My name is Alexandria," she said, swirling the wine in her glass.

  "Wait, one of them? I thought there was only one God," Ryan said, confused.

  "Monotheism doesn't make sense to me," she scoffed. "You think this whole universe was created by one being? Hell no. This place is so complicated. It took a massive team to make everything work." She knelt in front of him.

  "What do you mean, a massive team?" he asked.

  "I'll give you an example. I can't even tell you how many god-hours it took us to decide on the name 'light,' let alone how to invent it. Our teams worked tirelessly to define the things that make this universe function—laws of physics, laws of chemistry, minerals, and everything else. Life was by far the hardest challenge to create, with its endless rules, complex definitions, and constant rewrites. It was a bitch to create, with so many loopholes we had to keep patching."

  "Oh, so this whole world was a team-based project? I didn't know that. But why exactly was life so hard to define and make?" he asked, intrigued.

  Alexandria chuckled. "The idiot who invented the penis got a little cocky and started trolling the teams defining biology. He demanded it be in every design. But the goddess in charge of single-celled life had a different idea. She invented breasts to counter-troll him, and the sex wars got out of hand. Long story short, we changed our god forms to reflect our allegiance—Team Penis or Team Breasts, male or female. It's the oldest argument, and we still bicker about which design is better. But either way, we agreed that life couldn't exist without both factions. And that's just one of countless problems we had creating life." She ran her hand through his hair.

  She gently rubbed some dried blood off his ear.

  "I see," he said. "Thanks for sharing that. I didn't even know that gods troll each other."

  Alexandria smiled. "Of course we do! Deep down, we're like a bunch of college kids. Life? We invented it to watch and kill time. It gets boring up here sometimes." She snapped her fingers, and his appearance changed. He was no longer bruised and dirty but was wearing clean scarlet and black clothes.

  "Sorry, but I found it hilarious that you died in that Halo costume," she said. "You looked like you'd catastrophically failed an ODST drop. I just made you a bit easier on the eyes. And gave you some normal clothes."

  He looked down at the shirt and shorts. "Thanks, this is awesome," he said, standing up.

  "Anyway, as I was saying, yes, we troll each other. Where do you think the platypus came from? Someone slipped it past the mammal team." She laughed.

  Ryan laughed, too. "I always wanted to know the answer to that!"

  Her expression turned serious. "But on a serious note, life is precious. It took eons to get it right. Even when I created you, I took my time to customize you perfectly."

  "Wait, you created me?" he asked.

  "Yes. I usually hit the randomize button, but every now and then, I make someone unique like you." She pulled him into a hug.

  "I'm so pissed you killed yourself," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder. "I had a special puppy I was going to give you when you got married. But I guess I can't do that now, can I?"

  "I'm sorry," he said, thinking back on his life. "I didn't know all this. I was having a bad day and wanted to escape the suffering. I thought things would only get worse. I just wanted out."

  "I know you're mad about your mom abandoning you, and you took the emo path in life. Look, I'm a firm believer in free will and destiny. But your life is so precious. I wish you knew what you lost." She snapped her fingers.

  The screen changed from the crash scene to Ryan's funeral. A surprising number of people from his school had come to pay their respects. His dad wore an AC/DC shirt and all black. His sister was decked out in My Chemical Romance gear. Even his grandmother, hunched over her walker, wore an Escape the Fate band shirt and makeup, courtesy of his sister. His whole family seemed to carry a void in their hearts.

  A flyer on the floor indicated that everyone had been asked to wear band-related clothing instead of formal wear.

  Ryan scanned the faces, searching for his mom, but she wasn't there. He saw his classmates and teachers. Some teachers had opted for formal attire, but others, like his math teacher, had embraced the theme. The math teacher wore a warlock cosplay outfit, and his wife was dressed as a succubus.

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  "I'll be right back," Alexandria said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I need more wine from the party. I'll leave you alone to watch your funeral." She opened a portal and disappeared.

  Ryan's classmates wore costumes and other items that reflected his interests. Even Chad, the kid who had caused the whole mess, was there. He looked genuinely remorseful, and judging by the bruises on his face, the other kids had already given him a beating. He wore a simple Sum 41 shirt.

  Ryan concentrated, and the screen panned over to his casket. He was wearing his Halo suit, somewhat repaired, giving it a battle-hardened look. His dented helmet rested between his legs, and an MA5B assault rifle lay nestled beside him. The ceremony began with his sister giving a eulogy.

  "Thank you, everyone, for coming to Ryan's funeral," she said, her voice thick with tears. "It's heartwarming to see how many people cared about him. He would still be here if his gel layer hadn't failed." A few people laughed.

  "But we all know he's not truly gone. Spartans never die; they're just missing in action. I like to believe my brother is out there somewhere, kicking ass and overthrowing the devil." She cried and laughed at the same time.

  "Ryan's funeral will be music-based, with speeches. If his spirit is here with us, I know he's craving music. Big brother, this song is for you. I miss you so much!" She leaned over his casket.

  His grandmother walked to the computer and put on "The Guillotine" by Escape the Fate. Ryan scanned the room. Some people were bored and were looking at their phones. He read a headline on someone's screen: "Florida Man Dressed as 'Halo' Dies in High-Speed Motorcycle Crash."

  Ryan laughed. "Well, at least I made it to meme-hood," he said, skimming the article.

  He listened to the song. Next up was the metal girl from his math class.

  "Ryan was a very sweet person," she said. "He was awesome and always brought a smile to my face with his jokes. He was very smart, and I liked him a lot. I would have loved to date him. I know something about him that he hated, and to show my respect, I'm going to play a song he hates. Rest in peace, Ryan. Hope this song makes you suffer with the rest of us down here who are missing you." She smiled.

  The next song was "In the End" by Black Veil Brides

  “Wait I don’t hate this song! I just don’t like the band!” He said while looking at her.

  He listens to the song, and the song feels stronger than it did when he was alive.

  Next up was his math teacher, looking impressive in his warlock costume, his wife beside him in her succubus outfit. He stood on stage and explained how Ryan, though awkward, was also very intelligent. "He never backed down from a challenge," the teacher explained, "and always applied himself when called to the board." He shared how Ryan had gotten him hooked on Blessthefall. Then, with a playful grin, he announced he wanted to teach everyone a music lesson.

  He pulled out a whiteboard and wrote down the names: Escape the Fate, Blessthefall, Falling in Reverse, and My Chemical Romance. He launched into an impressive five-minute musical/math lesson, breaking down the bands and their connections with a timeline. He explained the musical bonds, stemming from a common origin: My Chemical Romance.

  He elaborated on how Escape the Fate had started. "They entered a contest hosted by My Chemical Romance," he explained. "They played their hearts out, got recognized, and won, which launched their musical career."

  He then delved into the drama. "Ronnie Radke, the original lead singer of Escape the Fate, got into trouble, went to prison, and was kicked out of the band. This created an opportunity for Craig Mabbitt, the lead singer of Blessthefall, to step in. When Ronnie Radke got out of jail, he started Falling in Reverse. The feud between them was legendary—on stage, on social media, everywhere. But it all stemmed from My Chemical Romance giving them a chance. Both bands are great, and it's amazing that despite the drama, they've continued to release music and tour, each with a loyal fan base. It's a classic example of how personal conflicts can spill over into the public eye, especially in the music world."

  He paused, his voice softening. "This is what Ryan taught me for an extra credit assignment. It's amazing how much I looked into this after he told me about it. I'm going to miss him."

  He ended his speech with, "Ryan was a spark that could have ignited something big. He's the common denominator that brought us all together. I hope he's doing okay. I hope to play video games with him in heaven someday." Then, he played "Stay Still" by Blessthefall.

  Ryan smiled. "Not a bad lesson for a warlock math teacher. He'll forever be the best teacher ever!" he said, enjoying the song.

  A whole bunch of people came up and shared their thoughts on how Ryan had lived a fun life. They played music and joked about him. There were a few roasts, but they were all in good fun.

  Chad was the last to speak. He walked to the stage and addressed the crowd.

  "Hello, my name is Chad. I'm the guy who caused this whole mess. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I hadn't lied about the tooth incident. I shouldn't have lied. Ryan was a very nice guy during gym, and I won't lie, I was pretty jealous of him. I'm very sorry for being the catalyst that started this mess." Chad walked to the computer and started playing the "Thomas the Tank Engine" theme song. No one understood what he was doing. He walked to the casket and gave a two-barrel salute. "GFG," he said to the casket. Then, he walked out. "If you guys want to beat me up again, I'll be at school Tuesday. Have a nice burial."

  Ryan fell on the floor, laughing hysterically.

  "I'm not even mad! That's pretty good! GFG to you, too, bud," he said, listening to the song and giving a mental finger flip.

  After Chad left the church, Ryan's sister walked to the computer, intending to stop the song, but she changed her mind and let it play. People started heading outside for the burial.

  Ryan watched Brandon, his dad, and a few others gather around the casket. His sister, crying, placed his helmet on his head and his shattered cell phone in his left hand before closing the casket.

  Alexandria reappeared behind Ryan, placing a hand on his shoulder.

  They watched as Ryan's friends and family carried the casket to the burial spot. His sister played "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance as the casket was lowered.

  Suddenly, tears welled up in Ryan's eyes, and the screen went black. The funeral was over.

  "I didn't know I left such an impact," he said, his voice heavy with emotion. "I thought only a few friends would be there. I didn't expect a packed church."

  "Well, now you know you left a big impact on these people's lives," she said, taking another sip of wine.

  "All right, so what's next?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Am I going to be reincarnated as a Cheeto? Or am I going to hell?"

  "You need to stop acting like this is a game, Ryan," she said, pulling him into a tight hug. "Take this seriously. You need to be taught a lesson about the importance of life. If you only knew how much time I put into creating you, you'd understand why I've had three glasses of wine today."

  "So, I am going to hell?" he asked, his voice laced with despair. He could feel her hugging him tighter, as if she were trying very hard not to punch him.

  "Not quite," she said. "Lately, we've been restructuring hell. The whole 'soul prison' idea is a waste of resources. We've been putting the truly horrible people to work on our other project worlds."

  "For example," she giggled, "we have a dinosaur world where we spawn damned souls and make bets to see who survives the longest. It's kind of messed up and funny at the same time. You should see Hitler's high score! He's got a game plan every time we deploy him down there. He really hates velociraptors!" The alcohol was clearly taking effect.

  "We also have Stalin running beta tests in a new anime world," she continued. "It uses a different graphics engine than the rest of the dimensions. We might leave him there; he gets along with the inhabitants very well."

  Ryan chuckled, picturing these scenarios in his head.

  "We've been busy creating a lot of dimensions just for fun lately," she said. "Our latest project, opened a year ago, is an RPG server world. It's a huge hit. We left the 'laws of physics' guy out of this one, so we have magic, monsters, and a whole lot of new things we've never tried before. It's a lot like World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy, which I know you've played, but instead of being behind a screen, it's a real-life experience. People in heaven have been breaking down our door to try it."

  "Currently, the other gods and goddesses and I are having a party to celebrate how popular that server is," she said, stumbling slightly. She pulled him into another hug, her speech slurring. "I want you to go play in it. You'll learn a few important things about the value of life."

  "I'm absolutely in!" he said. "This sounds like the KonoSuba book I was reading before I died. I'd be honored to live in that kind of world."

  She smiled. "Good, because you didn't have a choice anyway."

  She snapped her fingers, and they were teleported to a starting room.