Chapter 3

  The two materialized in a room that hummed with energy, holographic displays showcasing player stats and epic battles against mythical creatures. Ryan's gaze was immediately drawn to a screen where a group of adventurers struggled against a fearsome dragon.

  "Welcome to the starting room," Alexandria announced, gesturing towards the center of the space.

  A massive map of the world sprawled across the floor, dominated by portraits of two powerful figures: a girl in black seated on a throne and a woman in white mirroring her pose. In the background, hundreds of monitors displayed scenes from this world: players embarking on quests, venturing into dungeons, and even a party of ninety preparing to slay a colossal dragon. Ryan's eyes were glued to this last screen, watching intently as the dragon leaped from its rocky perch and unleashed a torrent of fire upon the challengers. Suddenly, the screen went black, replaced by the eerie apparition of a red-headed man in a cowboy hat, his face adorned with a distinctive beard that seemed to ripple in the air as he hovered, spectrally. His level was obscured by a string of exclamation marks, and the faint strains of Western music, as if emanating from an invisible saloon piano and a ghostly harmonica, seemed to follow his every move, only to abruptly cease whenever Ryan blinked. This otherworldly spectacle persisted for a full forty-five seconds before the man, after seemingly starting a campfire with nothing more than the friction of two ice cubes rubbed together, vanished without a trace.

  "So," Ryan began, curiosity piqued, "what's my mission?"

  "There isn't one," Alexandria explained, a mischievous glint in her eye. "This world is your oyster, or perhaps your dungeon, depending on your choices. Help those in need, wreak havoc, conquer kingdoms, or simply watch the world burn. It's a realm of endless possibilities."

  Ryan's initial apprehension melted away, replaced by a spark of excitement. "This is going to be awesome!" he exclaimed.

  "Perhaps," Alexandria countered, taking a long sip of her wine. "But I know a few things you don't."

  "Like what?" Ryan pressed, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

  Alexandria chuckled, setting down her glass. "Let's just say you're in for a few surprises." She conjured a holographic interface and swiftly created a character profile for him. "There you go. All set!"

  Leading him towards a door, she added, "Since this is an RPG, you'll need a starter weapon." She swung the door open, revealing an arsenal of swords, bows, and magical staffs. "No plasma rifles or rocket launchers here, I'm afraid. Just good old-fashioned medieval weaponry."

  Ryan shrugged. "Honestly, I was never that great at Halo anyway. I'm more of an MMORPG guy." He grabbed a bow and arrow, firing a test shot that went wide, clattering against a suit of armor.

  "What if I wanted to start as a mage?" he inquired, eyeing the magical staffs with curiosity.

  With a snap of her fingers, Alexandria summoned a collection of mage armor and staffs. Ryan examined them but remained undecided. "How long will I be in this game?" he asked, a sudden thought striking him.

  "Eternity," Alexandria replied casually, taking another sip of wine.

  "Wait, what?" Ryan's jaw dropped.

  "Consider it an alternative to hell," she elaborated, conjuring a plush couch and collapsing onto it with a sigh. "You're here for the long haul."

  Ryan's enthusiasm waned. "Stuck in a medieval world forever? I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

  Alexandria smirked. "Well, you did think life was a game, so..."

  Ryan's eyes lit up. "If that's the case, can I request an enchanted starting item?"

  Alexandria, still sprawled on the couch, raised an eyebrow. "An enchanted starting item? Hoping for a legendary sword? A mystical amulet? Perhaps some boots of speed?"

  "Better," Ryan declared with a mischievous grin. "I want a cell phone."

  Alexandria nearly choked on her wine. "A what?"

  "A cell phone," Ryan repeated patiently. "It'll be my magical trinket."

  "A cell phone?" Alexandria sputtered. "In a world without cell towers? Without internet? What possible use—"

  "Look," Ryan interrupted, crossing his arms, "if I'm going to be stuck in this fantasy realm for eternity, I need an endless supply of music. Besides," he added with a shrug, "no data charges, right?"

  Alexandria burst into laughter. "You've got a point there," she conceded, wiping a tear from her eye. Her face hardened momentarily. "And if that bitch can be a faction leader without contributing anything to this server's creation," she added with a scowl, "then sure, why the hell not? You can have a magical cell phone." Her smile returned as she snapped her fingers, and a sleek, modern smartphone materialized in her hand.

  "Can I enchant it?" Ryan asked, his eyes gleaming with possibilities.

  Alexandria chuckled, taking another sip of wine. "An interesting request," she mused. "I've never had anyone ask for a cell phone before." She conjured a shimmering control screen, its surface alive with swirling glyphs and intricate diagrams. Her fingers flew across the screen, leaving trails of light in their wake. "Let's see what the system rules say about this..." Her eyes scanned the screen, widening in surprise. "Well, I'll be damned. I guess you can have a phone."

  With a flick of her wrist, the screen vanished, replaced by a deck of cards that shimmered with an ethereal glow. "As for the number of enchantments you can have," she said, shuffling the deck with practiced ease. The cards whispered against each other, their edges shimmering with faint energy. "Let's leave it to fate, shall we?" She fanned the cards out, face down, each one pulsing with a soft light. "Pick one."

  Ryan hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest. He eyed the cards, each one a potential gateway to power or... something else. With a deep breath, he selected one from the center and slowly turned it over. It was the Five of Hearts, its crimson symbol stark against the pearly white background.

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  "Five enchantments it is," Alexandria declared, a playful smile curving her lips. "Let's see if your hardheaded phone request can top an enchanted sword."

  Ryan nodded, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Soulbound," he declared, holding the phone aloft. "Let no one be able to remove this item from my person." The phone glowed green, confirming the enchantment.

  "Unlimited battery life," he continued, his voice rising with excitement. A blue aura enveloped the phone.

  Alexandria chuckled as she watched Ryan rattle off his enchantments: unlimited storage (accompanied by a demonic shriek from the phone). "Wait, did that go through?" he asked, concerned about the unlimited storage enchantment.

  "I'll allow it," Alexandria hiccuped, her words slightly slurred. "I'm assuming it'll save items to the void. Just don't go storing any dangerous artifacts in there, okay?"

  Ryan smiled and then looked at his phone and tapped his fingers together. Indestructibility, and waterproofing (resulting in a brief but intense burst of flames). He dropped the phone in surprise when it caught fire, but it landed with a thud, magically encased in a sapphire yellow phone case. He picked it up; it wasn't hot at all.

  "I wonder if that worked?" he mumbled, examining the phone after his durability tests.

  "Try it out," she encouraged with a smile.

  Ryan got off the couch and picked up the phone. He wound up his arm and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. It made a hard impact sound, but when he checked, it was fine. He went into the armory closet, pulled out a battle axe, and slammed it down on the screen. Not a scratch. He hit it repeatedly, twenty times in a row. No damage. He threw the axe back into the closet and picked up the cell phone.

  "For my final enchantment," Ryan announced, his eyes sparkling with mischief, "I want the following apps: world map, encyclopedia, translating app, stats app, music player with all 532 songs from my old phone, battle data apps, offline Google, and a quest tracker and whatever else you could possible give me that is allowed within the rules"

  The phone emitted a blinding flash and a series of pings as the apps downloaded. A small progress bar popped up next to each one, steadily ticking upward.

  "Wait, was that all allowed?" Alexandria gasped, momentarily surprised.

  "Yep, nine apps so far downloading," Ryan confirmed, a smug grin spreading across his face. "And they come with a lifetime supply of software updates," he added, tapping the screen. "Gotta keep my apps fresh, even in the afterlife."

  "Now that I think about it," Alexandria mused, slowly sitting up, "with the device being able to store things on its own, apps don't count as an enchantment. You get one more."

  "I want to be able to buff and heal myself with this thing," Ryan declared, only half-joking.

  The phone instantly froze into a solid block of ice. Ryan yelped and dropped it; the ice shattered on the floor.

  "Okay, okay, I get it," he muttered, retrieving the unharmed phone. "No self-buffing."

  Alexandria, struggling to stand, pointed a finger at him. "I think that may have actually gone through. You'll have to see from the other end. But in all honesty, you need to seriously grab a weapon. This isn't some easy game—"

  "I'm just going to stop you there. I don't really feel like grabbing a weapon," Ryan interrupted, rolling his eyes. "Last time I picked a fight, I made a mess of things, and now I'm here dead. I refuse to pick up a weapon. I'm seriously just going to find a little island and go live there until I feel like making a difference."

  "Just give me the phone. I've got this."

  Alexandria stared at him, her expression a mixture of exasperation and concern. "Ryan," she said, her voice firm but gentle, "I understand you're hesitant, but you can't face this alone. You need to be prepared. What happens if you run into someone or something dangerous? What if—"

  "What if I die again?" Ryan interrupted, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "So be it. At least this time, it'll be on my own terms. Besides," he added, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, "didn't you see what I can do with this phone? I'm practically invincible! But that doesn't mean I'm going to go looking for fights."

  He held up the phone; its screen glowed with an array of enchantments, and magical hues orbited the phone while apps and other things downloaded. Alexandria looked at the phone, then back at Ryan, her gaze softening. She knew there was no point in arguing with him when he was like this. Her eyes glanced over at the statue of a woman in white holding a spear. A flicker of doubt crossed her face, a sense of foreboding she couldn't quite shake off. Should she tell him? But seeing his stubbornness, she decided to let him discover things for himself.

  "Alright," she conceded, a sigh escaping her lips. "But promise me you'll be careful."

  "I'm not going to go looking for fights, so no caution is needed," Ryan said. He leaned down and helped Alexandria to her feet. "Thanks for the concern, Alexandria. But I'll handle my life from here."

  He turned and walked towards the portal, the phone clutched tightly in his hand. As he stepped through, Alexandria watched him go, a mix of worry and hope swirling within her.

  "Are you ready to go now?" she asked, finally managing to stand upright.

  "Yes, I am," he replied, scrolling through his playlist and, with a mischievous grin, putting on "When the Lights Come On" by Asking Alexandria.

  "I'll never forget you, Alexandria!" he said. "You'll forever be in my heart and forever in my playlist." He stepped into a blue spell circle.

  "Oh, wow, you had to make an Asking Alexandria joke, didn't you?" she grumbled, feigning annoyance.

  "Just for that," she purred, her voice dropping to a husky whisper, "I'm sending you down there with a small weiner"

  "Wait, what?!" Ryan's eyes widened in alarm, cutting her off. "What are you making smaller?"

  Alexandria paused, a mischievous glint in her eye. She shot him a drunk giggling look but remained silent, leaving Ryan to stew in uncertainty as he ascended.

  "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE MAKING SMALLER, ALEXANDRIA!" he bellowed, his voice echoing through the room as the blue light of the portal starts to envelope him.

  "Take care out there, and do not die in any PVP zones!" she called after him, saluting playfully.

  He slowly started to rise into the sky. "Please tell me you're joking!" Ryan screamed.

  "I'm not joking!" she shouted back sarcasticly. "If you die in a PVP zone, it's an automatic game over. And the leniency I granted you for your suicide sin will be null and void. You'll have to spend five thousand years in hell since that’s the new restructuring rule. So, pick your battles carefully, buddy!"

  "Why are you just now telling me this?" he yelled in anger.

  "Because I'm drunk and you are sort of an Ass" she admitted, her laughter echoing as Ryan floated higher.

  "Oh, hey! If you can do me a favor and disrupt and dethrone Discordia for me, I'll add something special for you! That bitch didn't contribute to this damn project, yet she's a faction leader, and it pisses me off more then you know!" she shouted, throwing her arms up in anger and stamping her foot. "If you take up the challenge and manage to dethrone her, I'll pull you out of the game and try my best to give you another chance," she explained as he was about to exit the room.

  "I'll keep that in mind, Alexandria!" he shouted back.

  "Oh, and by the way, my real name is Clementia!" she corrected him. "Alexandria is just my nickname. You be safe and enjoy your starting city of Staug!" she shouted, waving goodbye. “I hand picked that zone for you myself!”

  When Ryan left the room, it was quiet and lonely.

  Clementia smiled and picked up her wine glass. "Well, time to go make a bet with the guys," she said to herself.

  Suddenly, a drunk woman teleported into the room with her.

  "Alexandria! We just had a crazy idea! We just gave some T-Rexes arms and spawned them into the Dinosaur Survival world! Let's see how Hitler reacts to this!" the woman shrieked excitedly.

  "Oh, I'm in!" Clementia yelled.

  As she turned away from the control panel, a flicker of power surged through the room, momentarily plunging the panels into darkness. A wave of hazy stars filled the space, leaving a heavy, charged feeling in the air.

  "Odd," she thought, turning back to the controls. "I don't remember this happening when they sent the other one in." The wine was clearly affecting her memory. "Hmm, how odd."

  Suddenly, a jolt of realization shot through her. "Oh shit! I forgot to wipe his memory! Damn it! Why do I keep doing that?!" she shouted, annoyed with herself. "Well, there's nothing I can do about it now," she muttered, switching off the lights and heading out the door.