I could see that Chloe was actively annoyed by the fact that he had been near her. I’ve never seen her look so… irritated. Angry… definitely… but never irritated. She looked as though she was going to growl at him. Her top lip was quivering.

  Dwynfel: “Ok… I have to ask… why do you hate him so much?”

  Chloe: “What? I don’t hate him.”

  Dwynfel: “You are literally grinding your teeth with annoyance.”

  Chloe: “Just look at the guy! Do you not see that?”

  Dwynfel: “See what? He just looks like a normal guy to me.”

  Chloe: “Exactly! He’s too normal. Everything about the guy is normal.”

  Dwynfel: “The shadow-self thing isn’t normal.”

  Chloe: “Well, he has to make himself useful somehow. But everything else, is just so, fucking bland!”

  Dwynfel: “And that’s a bad thing?”

  Chloe sighed deeply… clearly unimpressed that I didn’t agree that there was something wrong.

  Chloe: “If you were going to infiltrate somewhere… what’s the best way to do it?”

  Dwynfel: “I suppose to act like the locals… don’t draw attention to yourself.”

  Chloe: “By being as normal as possible! Nobody is that normal! I bet he’s a fucking shapeshifter or something.”

  Other than the druids who can morph into animal forms… I am pretty sure that shapeshifters are just a myth like cave trolls. None have ever actually been discovered. Many people were accused of being them during the war. Some were even killed due to those accusations. But their bodies never changed after their deaths.

  People still believe in them enough for them to be in my monster almanac… even if it does come with a whole page debating their existence.

  Dwynfel: “Does he have a family?”

  Chloe: “Yeah, I’ve met them. And guess what, completely normal. Average looking wife, children that are just kind of there, two of them I hasten to add, one boy a, one girl… the most fucking average family there could be.”

  Dwynfel: “You know the reason something is referred to as average is because it is common, right? There are probably loads of men like him in the city.”

  Chloe: “Nah, everybody is normal in some ways and weird in others. He’s just a big steaming pile of normal. It ain’t right.”

  Dwynfel: “Then why did you choose him for your squad?”

  Chloe: “I didn’t know him then. I went purely on his combat ability. Over the last few weeks, I’ve got to know him… and he's just not right.”

  Luckily Robert walked in at this point and distracted Chloe.

  Chloe: “Now you see, that’s more like it, a proper man. Just look at the muscles. Look at the hair. Look at that big swingin’ piece of man meat between his legs. What more could ya want?”

  Dwynfel: “Do these men know that you use these baths to judge their genitals?”

  Chloe: “Course they do, hell, I fucked half of them. This place is great. You get a good look before you commit. It’s like a try before you buy. Didn’t take me long to work through ‘em. Now I’ve kept me the best one.”

  Dwynfel: “That is a horrifying way to find a partner.”

  Chloe: “Don’t be such a prude.”

  Dwynfel: “Oh for fuck’s sake… you’re as bad as Kiyui… I am not a prude.”

  Robert arrived next to us and sat down in the bath where Flynn had been previously.

  Chloe: “Alright, Bobby?”

  Robert: “Can’t complain. That paperwork was a faff mind. Who’s a prude?”

  Oh great… now the knight that I barely know is getting involved in this.

  Chloe: “Oh just my little friend here. Seems like he’s all into saving himself for marriage or some shit.”

  Robert: “Each to their own. Some people value purity. Some people prefer to test if they are compatible first. Personally, I think the latter option is best, but as I said, each to their own. I’m Robert by the way.”

  He offered his hand to me and we shook hands. He had a painfully strong grip. Which shouldn’t surprise me, given the absolutely incredible muscles on the man. Him and Chloe looked to be pretty evenly matched muscle wise… although Robert looked to have the stronger legs while Chloe seems more focussed on her arms. He seems like a pleasant enough man. Respectful of how other people feel, not exactly who I would have expected Chloe to end up with.

  Although, if she just slept her way around the men until she found somebody who met her sexual needs… then I suppose finding a personality that matched hers mustn’t have been a priority for her.

  Dwynfel: “I’m Dwynfel.”

  Robert: “Oh, everyone knows who you are, lad.”

  Chloe: “Ya know, he’s sleeping with an ex-prostitute. I don’t think purity is at the top of his list of priorities.”

  Dwynfel: “I am not sleeping with him.”

  Chloe: “I know, I know. You said ya ain’t had sex. That’s why I said sleeping with.”

  Robert: “I’m guessing the ex-prostitute doesn’t value purity as you do?”

  For fuck’s sake Chloe… why have you dragged your boyfriend… that I have literally just met… into a conversation about my sex life? I need to get out of this conversation.

  You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

  Dwynfel: “Where’s Tadwick? I should go check on him.”

  I went to climb out of the bath but Chloe put her hand on my shoulder and sat me back down.

  Chloe: “He’s fine, he’s over there teaching Lucas and Tristan how to do the windmill. He’s having a great time. You stay right here and we are gonna get to the bottom of this.”

  Dwynfel: “We really don’t have to.”

  Chloe: “We really do. You clearly have issues and what kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t try to sort your head out? Let us help.”

  I know she means well… but I would really rather not.

  Dwynfel: “We are very different people… I doubt you’d understand.”

  Robert: “Chloe, dear. If the lad doesn’t wish to discuss it…”

  Chloe: “Shut up, Bobby.”

  Robert: “Right o.”

  Chloe: “What did you mean when you said you didn’t think you were gay?”

  Dwynfel: “Well… umm… it’s hard to explain…”

  Chloe: “Try me.”

  Fuck… this is so fucking difficult… how do I phrase this… I mean… I have no idea what I’m talking about… what the fuck do I say here? Fuck… I may as well just be honest… maybe saying it out loud will help.

  Dwynfel: “Because I’ve never liked any guy other than him before. I look around this room… I can objectively see that many of these men are… conventionally… very attractive. If I was gay, then surely… surely I’d feel some hint of attraction to at least one of them… but no… nothing. I’m limp as a mouldy lettuce leaf over here.”

  Chloe: “Maybe it’s the cat thing. Kiyui does have a very specific look to him.”

  Dwynfel: “We went to Purresia when we were travelling back. Same there… none of them did it for me either.”

  Chloe: “Small dicks?”

  Dwynfel: “Huh?”

  Chloe: “Well, Kiyui’s isn’t exactly swingin’ past his knee cap, now is it?”

  Dwynfel: “Firstly… Kiyui’s is appropriate for his size… it suits him. Secondly… it isn’t even that small… at best it is marginally below average. Finally… that guy over there isn’t exactly blessed in the penis department and I don’t find him, attractive… so no… I’m not drawn to small dicks.”

  Chloe raised her voice and shouted across the room.

  Chloe: “Yo Trev! Even the goblin thinks your dick’s tiny!”

  Trev: “Fuck you, Ma’am!”

  Dwynfel: “Chloe! Why’d you do that?”

  Chloe: “Oh, calm the fuck down, it’s just banter. Oh! Femboys?”

  Dwynfel: “What’s a femboy?”

  Robert: “Boys that look like girls. You know, feminine boys. They are very popular in the brothels.”

  Dwynfel: “It’s not that either. I like women… I like breasts… I haven’t had a proper look at a vagina since I was two… but still… I like the whole package with a woman. Nothing about men turns me on at all. Apart from Kiyui. I don’t understand why. Every part of him excites me… and I just… I don’t get it.”

  Chloe looked incredibly deep in thought… for the first time since meeting her, it looked like she was really trying to properly think about something. This went on for an awkward few minutes… a couple of times she went to open her mouth as if she had a solution… but then stopped herself and resumed thinking.

  Dwynfel: “What if… what if I don’t feel this way about him because he’s the one… what if I feel this way… because he’s the only option I have?”

  Chloe: “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  Dwynfel: “I can’t be with a woman… I’d end up spawning a load of goblins… or worse yet, I’d end up losing control of myself and doing something horrid. What if… I’m with Kiyui… because he’s the next best thing that I’ve been able to find? That makes me a horrible person? I’m a horrible person, aren’t I? Fuck… what is wrong with me?”

  Chloe and Robert looked surprised by what I had said… they also looked like they didn’t believe me.

  Robert: “So what is it exactly that turns you on about this Kiyui fella?”

  Dwynfel: “I don’t know. He didn’t turn me on at all initially. I saw him completely naked in a lake once… he didn’t turn me on in the slightest.”

  Chloe: “That was when you were obsessed with Tilda though… I bet you didn’t even register him.”

  Dwynfel: “Well, now… its everything about him… the way he looks at me… the way he says my name… the way he smiles… the way he touches me… the feel of his fur… the feel of his skin… his beautiful hair… his eyes… the way he’s so gentle… the fact that I can talk to him about anything and everything… the fact that no matter what happens, he supports me… its everything… everything about him just makes my heart pump a thousand times faster. I can’t explain it.”

  Oh gods… I can feel it now… just from talking about him… its beating faster… so much faster.

  Chloe: “Oh, you’ve got it bad…”

  Robert: “He really does.”

  Dwynfel: “What?”

  Robert: “Before we answer that… answer me this… when did these feelings start?”

  Please… just answer… tell me what’s wrong with me… I need to know… I need to know how to fix myself.

  Dwynfel: “Just over two months ago.”

  Robert: “And what was happening at the time?”

  Dwynfel: “Umm… well. Both of my arms had been broken and while they were healing, Kiyui was looking after me in my home.”

  Chloe: “Go on…”

  Dwynfel: “Well, he had been doing everything for me… feeding me… helping me use the privy… playing me music to help me get to sleep… dressing me… everything. One day we shared a bath together. He told me about his past while he washed me. His hands were so soft… it was so relaxing. It was then that it started… I looked at him and something just clicked… suddenly I saw everything he did in a different light… my body started to react to him in ways it never had before. I panicked at first… in all honesty I still panic about it… I don’t know how to handle it. So please… tell me… what’s wrong with me?”

  Chloe: “You love him, shorty.”